I am trying to do the right thing and not murder you, you ungrateful [fiddlers]! the Chosen One yelled at the Fire Birds attacking the group.
[Lesser Shield]! Chosen One, its not murder if theyre monsters, Qube called from Scaley-Waleys back. The Chosen One spun around, flying backwards for a second, as he looked at Qube.
Really? he shouted, and pointed at the sharktopus next to Qube. Qube looked down at her beloved pet, who was slowly winding her tentacles around Scaley-Waleys neck.
Squiggles, dont try and strangle your brother, Qube said automatically, as she tried to process what the Chosen One was saying.
Squiggles wasnt a monster! Squiggles was a baby! She would never hurt anyone!
Except for when Qube had t her and Squiggles may have slightly tried to eat her.
But that was just because she was hungry and scared!
But what if the reason all these wolves and birds were attacking them was because they were hungry and scared?
What if theyd been murdering dozens of Squiggles?!
While Qube was having yet another existential crisis, the Chosen One continued yelling at the wildlife.
Go away! he yelled at the birds. I dont know how to cope with you! Stop it!
The Fire Birds, however, paid no attention to the scolding of the Chosen One, instead continuing to swoop. The Chosen One lost his temper.
Fine! he yelled at the creatures. Have it your way! He swung his Sacred Sword at them, and the rest of the party sprang into action. As his sword hit the bird, it exploded into a fireball, setting part of the Hero alight.
Why does trying to do the right thing hurt so much? the Chosen One yelled, throwing his shield at another bird.
Qube had never seen soone attempt to engage in a sword fight while flying before. Given how much the Chosen One was struggling to counterbalance any strike he made, she could see why it had never taken off. Sexy Screamy Spider Lady and Definitely Bad Guy had it easier the Hunter swapped from her trademark dual daggers to her crossbow, and the Mage laid out various curses, causing the enemies to explode far away from the group.
As the birds dissolved, several pouches popped from their inner pockets, falling towards the ground.
Great! the Chosen One yelled at the falling pouches, now I feel bad!
It was official. The Chosen One had lost his mind. To be fair, Qube also felt like she was losing hers, trying to think about all the beasts theyd slain, and how each and every one of them may have been a Squiggles equivalent.
As the last bird fell, the Chosen One landed on the ground. The wolves had long since gone, leaving behind only the fat little pouches from inside the Fire Birds. The Chosen One started glumly pocketing them.
Man, ethics are hard, he said to no one in particular. He looked around at the now-empty clearing. Next ti, I think well just run. Trying to fight while flying is way too difficult.
Chosen One, do you really think all of those creatures are like Squiggles? Qube asked anxiously. The Chosen One started walking, everyone else landing and following him.
I dunno, the Hero replied. Thats the problem, isnt it? Its like He looked up at the clear sky as they walked. This is unknown territory, he said, and its like were exploring.
But plenty of people knew their way to the Light Temple, Qube thought, before realising that may not have been quite what he ant.
The Devs ntioned this was their first ti doing sothing like this, she said. Does that an its everyones first ti making a new world? And having special people in it?
Pretty much, yeah, the Chosen One said. Were dealing with sothing completely unlike anything weve ever dealt with before. None of the rules make any sense, so its hard to know what the right thing to do is. Its like trying to navigate a maze, in the dark, surrounded by sharp drops. How are we supposed to know where to go?
They walked in silence for a while, Qube turning over what hed said. Finally, she reached a decision, and slipped a hand into his. He looked down at her, jolted out of his thoughts.
Well, if youre lost in the dark, then I suppose you need a guiding light? she said, and smiled. He smiled back.
Definitely Bad Guy appeared next to him.
Leader, he said abruptly, since we are travelling, and I cannot work, I have so questions I wish to ask you. The Chosen One looked slightly surprised but kept smiling, slinging his free arm over the Mages shoulders.
Of course, Sparky, he said jovially. What do you want to know? Sothing deeply horrifying, no doubt!
Nothing is horrifying, if in the pursuit of knowledge, Definitely Bad Guy said wisely.
LIterally the opposite of what I was just saying, but you do you, the Hero replied sunnily.
While you are the Chosen One, you did not grow up in this world, correct? the Mage started interrogating the Hero. From what Qube could see, though, it was not a love interrogation. She would really need to ask Sexy Screamy Spider Lady what, exactly, a love interrogation looked like as opposed to a regular interrogation. Although, given so of the things the Hunter had told her about romance, it was probably best if she just left everyone to their own devices there.
Questions about whether or not she was secretly a serial assistant murderer of innocent little beast babies was one thing. Trying to figure out romance was just far too complicated.
Thats right, the Chosen One answered Definitely Bad Guy.
So you are not bound by the sa rules that inhabit our realm? The Mage was watching the Chosen One with the sa intense scrutiny the Hero had turned on Qube many tis. The Chosen One seed less affected by it, but it was clear he was uncomfortable.
Kind of? the Chosen One said uncertainly. In so ways yes, in others, no.
But you use the Save Point to commune with the Devs, Definitely Bad Guy continued.
Yeah, the Hero replied.
Qube released his hand and dropped back a bit, to give the two n so privacy. Sexy Screamy Spider Lady and Sewer Bard were having a quiet conversation, Squiggles in her usual riding place on Sexy Screamy Spider Ladys abdon. They stopped when they noticed Qube approaching.
My sweet darling, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said, reaching out to the half-elf. Youve co to join us degenerates, have you?
Squiggles hissed.
Im not calling you a degenerate, of course, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady reached behind herself and plucked Squiggles from her back, cuddling the sharktopus. No one could ever say a bad word about you. Or, at least, no one could say a bad thing and continue to draw breath, the Hunter added thoughtfully.
Fair Healer, Sewer Bard started.
Oh, yes, you can also call a woman of worth, Qube helpfully interrupted the Bard. He blinked, trying to continue his sentence but failing.
Im sorry? he eventually managed.
Well, its just you said that you were a man of worth because you were dedicated to our quest, so I think I could be a woman of worth! Qube said brightly. Or wow, for short! That would be fun! You could introduce as Qube, wow! Or wow, Qube! Then everyone would just think you were really excited to introduce ! Or you could, if anyone was capable of seeing .
Sewer Bard and Sexy Screamy Spider Lady gave each other concerned looks. Even Squiggles seed uncomfortable, although that may have been because she was trying to climb back onto Sexy Screamy Spider Lady but was being held in place by the giant arachnid.
I would prefer to call you a woman of worth, Sewer Bard said. Give you your full title, you see.
You dont need him saying wow for people to be excited by you, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady said, but it was clear her heart wasnt in it.
Qube pouted. No one ever understood her idea of fun.
anwhile, she was still close enough she could just catch the edges of the Chosen One and Definitely Bad Guys conversation.
What, then, prevents you from using the Save Points to travel all around the kingdom? Definitely Bad Guy was asking.
Dunno, the Chosen One replied.
The woods and rolling hills they were travelling through gradually gave way to flat, grassy plains. From this location Qube couldnt see the Forbidden Forest, or the Volcano that housed the Fire Temple, but to their left, they could see Lake Fear, and the mountains that held the Air Temple, with the dark shadows of the valleys concealing the Shadow Temple. To their right was Cobbletown, the castle dominating over all. And behind them (literally and figuratively) was the path to the village.
It appeared to cause our Healer quite a lot of distress when she was simply connected to you and you touched one. Is that because she wasnt in a vessel like the Chosen One?
Dunno, the Chosen One replied nonchalantly.
Once your quest has been completed, will you return to the realm of the Devs? Definitely Bad Guy refused to be deterred by the Chosen Ones lacklustre responses.
Rather than dunnoing again, the Chosen One paused and looked thoughtful.
Probably, he said eventually. But you guys will be coming with ! he hurriedly added. Probably. Definitely likely.
Definitely Bad Guy stared at the Hero, studying him intently.
There is an ancient to, he said cautiously, that is said to hold spells of great power. I believe that finding it will allow to bring down the magical shield the Evil Emperor has cast, and give more abilities.
The Chosen One stopped dead, removed his arm from around Definitely Bad Guys shoulders, put his hand on his heart, and turned to the Mage.
Are you are you giving your personal quest? he asked, his voice full of emotion.
It is certainly personal to , Definitely Bad Guy replied awkwardly. But I believe it will be of use to us all.
The Chosen One reached out and hugged the smaller man, over dramatically sniffing back non existent tears.
Thank you for trusting with your secret mission, he said, I will fulfil it with my last breath!
I did not think this would elicit such a reaction from you, Definitely Bad Guy admitted uncomfortably. He wriggled free of the Fighters grasp. The Hero released him easily.
Oh, Im just pulling your leg, he said cheerfully. Both the Mage and Qube looked at the Mages legs. The Chosen One rolled his eyes. Im just kidding, he clarified. Not about doing your quest though, I will do that. Or, well, we will do that. After the Light Temple, though, cuz Im excited to see how this turns out.
How this turns out? Definitely Bad Guy queried.
Oh yeah, you guys are going to be in charge of the Light Temple, the Chosen One said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder back at Qube. Her suggestion.
The Mage turned and stared at Qube as the Chosen One resud walking.
Oh, he said. But wont we need your power to complete the Temple?
The Chosen One shrugged. Maybe, he said, dunno, he said for the hundredth ti. If you do need for sothing, then Ill do it, but until that point, this is the chaos crews domain.
The Chaos Crew. Qube liked the sound of that!
Uh oh, more enemies. Quick, crouch, the Chosen One whispered. The entire crew crouched and continued forward in a strange, awkward scuttling motion.
So it was that the intrepid party scuttled their way out of the grassy plains and into the desert. Qube had never seen a desert before, obviously, but it was still bigger than anything she could have imagined. The abrupt changeover from plains to sand made her feel like she was stepping into another world. The suns suddenly seed much closer in the skies, and the heat was visible, rising from the dunes in shimring waves.
They had arrived.
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