A realized personality involved many things, not all of which Matt understood.
It involved understanding and accepting himself, being firm and determined in his decisions, and not being influenced by other people's decisions on too deep a level. That ant that he should not stop being himself even if he did what soone else ordered.
That involved too many things that, on a ntal level, affected him too much.
When Matt took the first step, even though he felt his body more liberated and felt he saw a path, he also felt more ntal pressure.
It was as if his mind told him that his loyalty had gone down the drain.
And he had no way to deny that fact.
There has never been an excuse for what he did, and he knows it. He has never been a man who makes excuses regarding serious and important matters.
But is it true that he had been unfaithful?
The issue in his mind and the amount of evidence put to him regarding that made Matt fail in less than 5 minutes.
That brought a dark countenance to his face.
"..."
He didn't say or think anything; he simply re-entered that strange ntal world.
And once again, he stood on the starting line and began to walk.
Infidelity was a subject that, for him, was too unbearable.
For him, such a thing was not allowed. It was totally out of his principles to be unfaithful. The thing is, he had no idea if what he did could be considered infidelity.
He died, and he was sure that Charlotte did too, for he himself exploited their bodies. In such a case, the marital union that bound them together was broken the mont they both died.
But he reincarnated and kept his consciousness and mories. He rembered Charlotte vividly and considered her his wife, but was she like that, too?
For so strange reason, Matt thought this was not the case, for he felt no sign of Charlotte's soul besides sensing her. And if he could feel her, he firmly believed she could feel him, too.
And though he tried to send her signals through the soul, he never got anywhere.
Why was it? Was it because she couldn't feel him, or was it because the bond that united them on earth had been broken?
If he thought about it objectively, that bond was broken from the mont they both died. Well, even the saying goes: Till death do them part.
But it was such a complicated issue for him that he could not find an answer all day long.
And even though he saw most of them moving forward at a fast pace, he couldn't do it. Once he was attacked by it all, Matt couldn't hold the guilt inside him.
The guilt grew stronger each ti, and feeling bad about himself made him fail when only two minutes had passed in his last attempt.
Matt opened his eyes and noticed that the professor was about to start talking. But honestly, he had no intention of listening to him. So he ignored him completely, and as soon as he could leave, he walked away slowly.
The professor looked at him from the corner of his eye and frowned.
'...Young Zen seems to be in quite a predicant. He couldn't even last the full 5 minutes today despite managing 10 minutes yesterday... This is strange.' He thought.
Alice also noticed that sothing was wrong with Matt, so she quickly followed him.
Seeing this, Robert ran to the tower to et the Great Summoner once again.
When he got here, the Great Summoner was being disturbed by the Founder.
The Founder frowned. "What do you want?" he asked sharply. It felt bad to be rejected so many tis by the woman he liked, but he couldn't take it out on her, so he thought about taking it out on the newcor.
But Robert's expression said too much to Mia, so she glared at the Founder.
"You can step outside. I have sothing urgent to deal with." Her tone was a little scary, and even the founder had to leave to not disturb her.
"Madam, there's sothing wrong with Young Zen."
"The most talented student? What's weird? His power?"
"No, ma'am. Yesterday, he was able to last 10 minutes in the test, but today, he didn't even reach 5 minutes. And the last attempt barely lasted 2 minutes. I don't know what's wrong with him, and I'm afraid it might be..." Robert paused after saying this, causing Mia to frown and look at him.
"Low Deal, using ntal attacks? Do you think that could be it?" she asked, and Robert nodded.
"They control undead and have a great capacity for undetectable ntal attacks."
Mia frowned even more. But she rembered sothing. "Isn't it normal for them to fail like this on the second day? Especially on the fourth test?" She asked.
And Robert denied that question. "Although a decrease is possible, it is normal, even in extre cases, to have a decrease of 40 or 50%. That was why the first ti, I was not surprised, but each ti, he was lower and lower, and his ntal state and countenance were darker and darker. Even Miss Aelia noticed it. I think the subject is serious."
Mia then nodded. "I'll go see him. Those bastards aren't going to take talented disciples away from us again. If need be, I'm going to demolish the city to find whatever bastard is controlling everything behind the scenes." She said, standing up and grabbing a cloak at her side.
Although Robert was surprised, he understood why she had decided to visit him. So he nodded to her. "Ma'am, I hope it's not what I thought. Please go carefully. I will call my family and have my sword sent to . If I have to go fight to avoid further losses, then I will use all my power." He replied, and Mia patted his shoulder.
"Good man." She said, smiling a little, and left the room.
.
As they walked to the room, Alice kept close to Matt, but she didn't know how she should approach him. She didn't even understand what was wrong with him, so what should she do?
'...Maybe it's my fault...'
'No, it's not a maybe. Yesterday, he was fine; the only thing that happened that could disturb his mind would be ...' She thought regretfully. Suddenly, she felt her heart weigh tons, and a lump in her throat ford.
Imdiately, she made up her mind, so she looked straight ahead.
'Huh? Matt?' She thought in shock and looked around.
'He's not there? I can't even feel him...' She thought in shock, feeling sowhat afraid of this.
.
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