After a long ti, I t my older brother:
Ha, Hyung, Im having a hard ti.
Sitting in a corner of a noisy bar, I grabbed my head and said.
[ Note: Hyung is used by younger n to refer to older n. ]
I knew it was not going to happen, but I glanced at the door with anxious eyes in case I ran into them.
Whats going on again, Starchis?
My older brother, Stion, who was 9 years older than and was the leader of an A-tier party, tilted his head at my complaint.
[ Note: Starchis might sound like a weird na but the flower Statice () - which ans Eternal Love - is also written like Starchis (). And author-san is referring that Starchis/Seutachiseu () here. ]
Hyung had a lot of social experience, so there were many tis when I felt comfortable consulting with him. It's also because he usually gave clear answers or told directly what to do; He was one of my spiritual supporters.
Is it because of those party kids again?
Who else is there beside them?
Who is it this ti?
All three.
Huh.
However, even if he ca up with one solution, the consultation with Hyung never ended; as if fighting a defensive battle, when one worry disappeared, another one arose.
And those issues always ca from my party mbers.
Because I longed to be like my brother, the leader of the A-tier party, I organized my own party, and as a result, I found three female party mbers and stayed together for two years with that composition.
Though its been only 2 years since the party was ford, it was slightly different how long we had known each mber face to face even before forming the party.
I want to take so ti off.
?... Just take it then.
But its hard.
What are you talking about?... Just have a few beers, organize what you want to say in your head, then say it.
Hyung wanted to listen to my concerns seriously, but he didnt seem to understand.
As I drank my beer as he said, I thought about how to solve this question.
Just thinking about those three made my heart ache.
My party mbers. They cant see taking a break.
What, inside the dungeon? Why are you running errands?
No. They cant do that in a dungeon. If everyone doesnt take it seriously, itll be a big deal.
If I kept running errands even in the dungeon, the whole party would shake: those three were not that stupid. If they treated like a slave like that, I would have already lost my hand. Instead, inside the dungeon, everyone contributed their best even if they were angry with and we were not on talking terms.
There is no problem in the dungeon.
Then? Are you saying outside the dungeon is the problem?
Yes.
What can they even do to trouble you so much outside the dungeon?
I an, they always co to on days off. Lets do this, lets do that, help us with this, lets hang out, etc I was trying to pamper them; we hang out together a few tis before, but these days its too much.
?
Hyung was frowning and making a puzzled expression.
So theyre asking you to co and hang out on your day off?
Yes.
What, why is that a problem?
They co every day!!! Assuming I dont get hurt, if we go around the dungeon for 2 days and take 5 days off, theyll co for all 5 days off, got it? Taking turns.
Say you just want to rest.
Hyung, who spoke so simply, looked disgusting.
Okay. To others, thats normal. But if it was as easier as he said, would I have consulted?
Though I didnt have the strength to refute; I was still very tired.
Even Hyung cant help ?
When I looked at him with resigned eyes, Hyung quietly averted my eyes and said.
Yeah, but its not easy, that must be why you consulted with . Well... Why cant you refuse?
I was annoyed, but I also felt sorry for Hyung who was looking after . After all, Hyung was using his free ti for . But we were not having a good ti, I was just talking dark things. Even so, Hyung continued to worry about .
Tell . Why cant you refuse?
Pooh Once I refuse, they get angry.
You're saying they get pissed?
Hyung's thoughts were written all over his face;
'That's it? They just get pissed so you can't refuse?'
I can barely think of only one reason, but ha... I have to see it; Badly pissed off; enough to get in the way of dungeons. They dont even answer, and when they do, they say sothing sarcastic or hurtful.
My body trembled. It reminded of the day when all three of them were upset, not just one or two.
That day was hell.
If its hard for you to convince them to let go of the grievous feelings, then don't convince them; they can just not let go.
I told you! They are seriously pissed off! Oh and! Youre the party leader, you must know! If I dont solve the dissatisfaction, it will be difficult later. I also want to work hard, so I try to fulfill their requests now and then!
Okay okay. I know. Dont be angry. But Im saying dont do it if its that hard. Youre having a hard ti, why do you do that then? You just have to go through the dungeon a little harder. It'll get better with ti.
If I dont convince them to let go of their anger, theyll stay upset Dont say it'll naturally resolve. It gets really annoying afterward Ugh, hyung should have seen them. Even in a situation where life is at stake, they get angry and don't answer. Even cry afterward. Oh my God, who cries just because we havent hang out for a day?
Hyung's eyes were hazy for a mont then he looked at blankly.
Okay. Well, maybe you have your own situation. You are right. I should have seen them.
Right.
But they get angry because you keep refusing, or they get angry if you refuse just once? Because who wouldn't be offended if you kept refusing?
Of course, every ti I refuse, they get angry. If not, I wouldnt even worry about it. If I refuse even just once, their expression will turn really bloody Uh-huh.
Hmm Thats interesting.
I rested my head on the table.
I saw other guests laughing loudly; Drinking and talking in excitent, singing songs, and putting shoulder to shoulder
I also wanted to laugh happily like that.
Thats why I cant even take a day off these days. I cant refuse, so they co every single day now. Even if I try to say no, saying that today is a bit difficult, they make so nonsense, saying, Thats why you're not coming.
How did you co out today then?
After I said I was eting my older brother, they let go. I dont know what else will they ask for this later. To be honest, I just wanted to rest at ho, but when I am at ho, they always drag outside. That's why I ca to see my brother. No, why do I have to live like this?
I continued to grumble.
Please... I want to sleep for one day without any worries. If one person drags into the night and lets go, I have to et another party mber from dawn the next day. What is this?
Hyung tapped the table with his finger and asked a question.
Are you still not thinking about breaking the party?
Hyung.
To beco a high-ranking Hunter, you must stand out. If a rumor spread that a party had collapsed, it could be said that work was cut off after that.
Hyung was an A-tier hunter; it was a totally different league, so whether leave or join, he was free, but it was not that easy on C-tier and D-tier.
There were many other C-tier and D-tier parties, but there was no reason to join people who gave up without being able to stand out.
In my case, I couldnt even change party mbers. There were three party mbers with problems. If I changed not just one person, but all party mbers, it was natural to think that I, the leader, had a problem rather than the three.
So, if I broke my C-tier party, I, the actual leader, could be said to be retired from then on.
No, Im just curious about why youre having such a hard ti. You always co with worries because of them. There are a lot of professions to try, even if you don't be a hunter... I'm just hoping you'll be in this dangerous profession if you are confident.
The party could not be broken. Even if Hyung asked why I kept doing this, I couldnt answer.
How can I say that I want to be like my older brother in front of the person in question?
As I remained silent, Hyung sighed and asked.
Sigh... Okay, lets have a party.
Saying that Hyung drank the beer all the way.
By the way, Starchis, can I ask you a question?
What?
Before now, whenever I heard about your party mbers, I thought they were just bitches, but today I had a little doubt.
?
What? Did you find out sothing?
Why didnt I think of this before? It seems to fit the situation so much that I wonder. It also explains why they do it.
My brother said with shining eyes.
Isnt that just because they like you?
What did you say
Are you misunderstanding my lack of explanation?
I was also puzzled.
What the... What nonsense
Why do you think no?
Hyung, absolutely not.
Why not? They're calling you because they just want to see you and date you. If you refuse, they will get angry.
Hyung seed to be organizing his thoughts already.
The hyung, who listened earnestly, went sowhere and tried to smile wrigglingly.
I must not let him get carried away here.
If I didnt break this claim here, he would give advice that would make look like an idiot.
I already began to hear the cold voice of my three party mbers saying things like Why are you so insensitive?
I took a deep breath and spoke calmly.
Hyung. Absolutely not!
What is absolutely not? It seems right.
Its embarrassing, but its not like I didnt think about it.
Oh, yes?
You know. I am also interested in dating.
And?
But when I et them and see how they behave, its absolutely not like that. If you love soone, you'd praise them, go to places where you can have fun with each other, and eat sothing delicious, right? Their hearts beat too.
Well. Everyone expresses it differently, right?
Still if they like , they should be a little considerate of . If I'm tired, they should let rest. Aside from that, even when we et, they just do what they want to do and go where they want to go. Eat only what they want to eat; they just want to do things that would be embarrassing to do alone, so they take with them... As a porter.
They even keep drawing the line. Who likes the other person but keeps drawing the line? Right, Hyung?
What line?
That we are not lovers. They keep reminding as if never to cross that line.
Its ambiguous.
Hmm...
I felt like I was going to die of boredom. He didnt see how I was being dragged around, so Hyung said things like that.
Their actions were nothing but things that I could never understand from my perspective on dating.
Im doing this because I couldnt really explain it, hyung has to see it for himself.
You too, clear your head and observe again. I might be right.
Hyung. But, absolutely not. Even if they really liked with a probability of 1 in 10,000. What does that have to do with ? Who expresses their liking that way? No, but even if it was a way of expressing their liking anyway, I have no intention of getting along with people who express it that way.
Well? That right.
I clenched my fists in my heart.
Yes, you are finally on my side.
I'll have even a harder ti with them if they continue to act like that even after we beco lovers. I support pure love, so I like the love where both are considerate of each other. Do you want to suffer with them?
Ayu. No, why would I? You're my younger brother.
Right? But I keep wasting my break ti because of girls who arent ant to be lovers, does this make sense?
I wanted to convince him, but his smile wouldnt disappear.
There are limits to hanging out with friends.
Even though it felt strange, hyung eventually told how to solve it.
Starchis, my cute little brother. There is no way they like you?
Thats right!
Never?
Never.
When I said it firmly, he chuckled.
If they had feelings for you, wouldnt it be okay?
No.
And you wish you had so ti off?
Uh. Give so ti to rest. What should I do?
Seeing my face like that, Hyung scratched his head and mumbled quietly.
Hey, yes, hell himself take care of the aftermath.
?
Starchis... Then try this.
What is it, Hyung?
Hyung said nonchalantly:
Just tell them you got a girlfriend.
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