Chapter 34: Safe Space
"Am I alive?" A small mutter escaped Danielle’s lips when she was staring at the ceiling.
She moved her head to the side and saw Theo sitting beside her, asleep in a hospital chair.
His head laid back slightly, and a bruise was still visible across his jaw.
His hands were folded tightly.
Forgetting her own pain, Danielle’s heart felt like it was being shattered by a hamr.
Danielle reached out weakly, wanting to touch his hand. But then she stopped halfway...rembering the forest and blood, her fear, and Ethan’s voice still coming into her head.
She rembered Theo’s arms around her, the way he carried her like she was made of glass.
He had saved her life again...
Her throat tightened. ’He saved ... even though his brother is the monster who hurt ...’
Theo stirred slowly, and his eyes opened finally. They were tired, lined with sleepless nights, but still that sa pale blue she had co to depend on.
"You’re awake," he muttered quietly and calmly, but his eyes gave away a strange broken vibration.
Danielle tried to smile. "You stayed."
"Of course I did."
She looked at him closely. There were shadows under his eyes, bruises on his knuckles. "You didn’t sleep, did you?"
He gave a small shrug. "Didn’t feel like it."
Silence filled the room for a mont.... And to Danielle, the sound of rain outside seed louder now.
"Theo," she hushed, "Ethan... he’s your brother."
Theo’s lips parted away, but Danielle could see that tense jaw. Theo didn’t say anything, maybe he was just trying to co up with the right words since he too was worried what exactly did she know about him?
When he finally did, his words sounded so hollow. "I know what he is. And I hate him for what he’s done to you."
Danielle’s chest stung at the way he said you. There was guilt in his tone, a guilt she didn’t understand.
"You saved ," she replied gently. "You found when no one else could."
But Theo didn’t look proud or relieved. He looked sick. He rubbed a hand down his face and turned away from her.
"You shouldn’t thank . I didn’t stop it soon enough."
"You did everything-"
"No." His voice cut the air softly. "If I had done everything, you wouldn’t have those marks on your wrists. You wouldn’t have to run to your freedom in that forest. You wouldn’t have looked so afraid when you saw ."
Danielle frowned. "I wasn’t afraid of you."
Theo shook his head, and bit his lower lip. "I’m the sa blood as him. The sa face. The sa na. When I look at you, all I see is what he did to you. And it makes sick."
He stood up suddenly, as if being close to her hurt too much. His body tensed like every muscle was begging him to walk away.
"Theo..." Danielle called for him softly, sounding fragile.
He looked at her for very shortly. His eyes were full of anguish...but it wasn’t for her. It was for himself.
"Theo?" Danielle sat up and tried to reach his hand, but he shoved it away from her.
"Don’t touch , please...not...when it’s so wilthy..."
Danielle’s eyes filled with tears in less than a second, ’filth? Am I filthy because of what Ethan has done?’
But Danielle didn’t know that Theo was disgusted by himself after that night...He didn’t want Danielle Danielle to touch him...
’I want to touch him...’
She tried again, voice was like a shatter of the glass.... "If you don’t want my fingers to touch your skin," she whispered, "should I just... just wear gloves?"
Theo stopped in place. His shoulders stiffened. He turned toward her, shocked. "What?"
Her eyes were so wet. "You keep stepping back every ti I reach for you. You won’t even hold my hand. You look at like I’m sothing evil or so dirty. Is that what I am to you now?"
Theo’s chest rose and fell fast. "No...Never."
"Then why won’t you let near you?" she cried, and her shoulders started shaking. "You saved , Theo. You made feel safe again, and now you won’t even look at without flinching."
He pressed his palms to his eyes for a mont, trying to breathe...
"Because when you touch ," he said, "I rember Ethan’s hands...I think of his cruelty. I rember that I share his blood, and I can’t stand it. I can’t stand knowing that soone with my na hurt you."
Danielle felt her throat tighten.
He looked at her then, and his eyes were glassy with pain. "I’m supposed to protect you. But when I see your scars, I see my failure. I see every mont I wasn’t fast enough."
Danielle swallowed hard, tears running quietly down her cheeks.
"But I don’t see him when I look at you," she muttered slowly. "I see you, Theo. I see the man who found in the rain and carried when I couldn’t move. The man who stayed all night beside . You’re not him."
He shook his head, still struggling with his words. "You don’t understand, Danielle. My hands will always remind you of what he did. My skin will always carry the sa blood...you should just fire ..."
"No..."
"You don’t want , bunny..."
But Danielle couldn’t stop needing him. Theo was the only safe place she had left in the world.
Her lip trembled. "Then I’ll wear gloves if the touch of my skin disgusts you. But don’t take yourself away from ..."
Theo looked at her with sothing breaking behind his eyes. Slowly, he moved closer, one step at a ti, until he was standing beside her bed again.
He reached out, "you could never disgust ...not you."
Danielle closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, letting the warmth of his hand calm her heart.
Theo brushed his thumb gently under her eye, wiping away a tear. "I’m sorry...For everything. For being him in na. For not saving you sooner. For not being enough."
Her voice ca small but strong. "You are enough."
Theo didn’t answer. His throat moved, but no words ca out. He sat back in the chair again, looking exhausted.
"Why did Ethan attack us in the first place, Theo?"
"Because he won’t let rest until one of us actually dies..."
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