3.
Congratulations! You have completed the tutorial. You have gained reputation. You may now see your experience points. You may now spend your experience points.
Your Reputation in England: Unknown
Your World Reputation: Unknown
XP: 23
New Achievents: Scouting 1; Slummin' It
Perks Unlocked: Player Profile 2; Attributes 1; 4-4-2; Super Scout
I stood there staring at this ssage for so long that when I sort of slipped back into my body again, another match had started on the pitch in front of . So I've completed the tutorial, have I? I had a LOT to say about that, but no-one to say it to. Nick, the weird old foreigner, would get an earful the next ti I saw him. Three questions to start with: 1) Why wasn't I told there was a tutorial? 2) How did I finish said tutorial? 3) What the fuck have you done to you absolute DICK?
So what was different now that I'd completed the tutorial? I scanned the new players and didn't see anything different. There was one real speed rchant who had acceleration 11 and pace 10, and one diterranean-looking guy who had the highest technique score I'd seen: 8. So the players were different, of course, but I wasn't different.
I tried to 'open' the ssage again, but it had gone. But I wanted to re-read what it said! I tried 'clicking' the corner of my vision where the envelope icon had been, and a new 'screen' appeared in my vision. In a panic, I looked away. It vanished. I checked out my feet, the sky, the corner flags. All good. Breathe in for three seconds, breathe out for four. I let my eyes unfocus and tried to bring the new screen back.
On the left were so tabs. One said 'Max Best' and ‘tapping’ that gave three options: Personal Profile (where I could see my XP and achievents), News, and 'Retire'. The latter seed very ominous. Below 'Max Best' were three more boxes, but they were currently blank.
Top and centre of the new screen was the title 'Max Best News'. Below those words lay a kind of Twitter feed. The latest 'tweet' said Perk Unlocked: Super Scout. Around the tweets were different kinds of filters, including ones like 'Contracts and dia', 'Transfers', and 'Records'. Clicking on these filters proved as easy as reading my ssages - I just had to think it. Of course, I had no 'news' about contracts, transfers, or records, so the filters were useless. For now.
I clicked on the news item that said Perk Unlocked: Super Scout, and found that it contained a description. A brief description.
Buying the Super Scout perk adds CA and PA data to player profiles.
Cost: 10,000 XP
UNIQUE SPECIAL OFFER: Buy before August 1st and pay only 1,000 XP!
Great. Love getting a deal. Now I just needed to know what CA and PA ant. I tried clicking on those terms, but nothing happened.
If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringent.
Anyway, it wasn't urgent, since I didn't have 1,000 XP. I had 23. No... 24.
Now that was a head-scratcher. I'd earned one experience point recently, but had absolutely no idea how.
Moving onto my previous news items, I found explanations for my achievents. Scouting 1 was awarded because I'd examined the profiles of 10 players. I had been awarded 1 XP for that as part of the 23 from the tutorial. But awarded by whom? By God? By Nick? By the Football Association?
Slummin' It also gave 1 XP. It ca because I'd spent more than half my ti watching non-league matches.
Oh-kay... So so XP ca from hitting targets. If this curse followed video ga rules, maybe there would be a list of achievents that I could aim towards completing. I glanced at my XP - still 24. Hadn't earned any for a couple of minutes. I didn't know how much I should care about XP, but I already knew that I'd at least try to get 1,000 to unlock the CA/PA perk, if only to find out what CA/PA ant.
Speaking of perks, I investigated the other ones that were available to buy. Player Profile 2 would cost 100 XP and would unlock a tab called History. Attributes 1 would let see another player attribute, at a cost of 315 XP.
Finally, I could buy 4-4-2 for 50 XP. This was considered so obvious by the ... interface designers? ... that there wasn't even an attempt at explanation. 4-4-2 is a way to set up a football team. Pretty much the most basic formation, especially popular with amateur teams. So if I bought this, what would I, personally, get?
With a sigh, I closed all the screens. Bonkers. Bizarre. Pointless.
I ambled over to the half-way line and asked how long was left. The coach of the red team looked at his watch and said, "about 10 minutes."
"Thanks."
I decided I'd watch those ten minutes and at half-ti I'd go ho and try to put my thoughts into order. There had to be a aning behind all this, right? What was the point of being able to see in nurical terms soone's pace? The only thing I could think was that if I watched enough football I might find soone fast enough to qualify for the Olympics. And what good would that do ?
The half-ti whistle blew and I started making my way ho. I thought about buying a wrap from the little stand they had next to the indoor complex. I checked my pockets - I still had the hundred pounds that Nick had given , but there was more chance of playing for Manchester United than this little stall giving change for a hundred. A Scottish hundred! I counted the rest of my cash. I could just about wrangle a chicken wrap with no drink. If only my bank balance went up like my XP did!
The thought made freeze. I opened what I was coming to think of as my personal profile, and found that I now had 34 XP.
Wait wait wait. I had 24 and then I watched about 10 minutes of football. Could it be that simple?
I bought the cheapest wrap - god I wished I had another pound for so onions! - and went to watch the second half. These gas had 40 minute halves, and sure enough, at the final whistle I'd earned another 40 XP.
Well, well, well.
With 74 XP in the bank, I had a choice. I could buy 4-4-2 right away, or keep saving up. What I really wanted was to buy the Super Scout perk. But I also wanted to just find out what all this was about. Like, what was the point of it all? It seed obvious that buying sothing would give a big clue.
So I moved away from the pitch, sat on a bench, and bought 4-4-2. It was easy enough - just a matter of clicking and confirming.
And... absolutely nothing happened. I clicked around through all my screens, nus, and subtabs, and just couldn't find anything different. (Except that I’d lost 50 XP.)
Ah well, the mistake had cost 50 minutes, basically. I just had to watch more football.
There were no more gas going on outside, but there was one in the sports hall. I went and sat in the little stand and did so maths on my phone. To get 1,000 XP I’d need to watch about 11 gas. There were 11 days left in July, not counting today. I could easily do it if I simply had to be near so football matches.
Doing the maths and thinking about when and where I could reliably find gas to watch took about 5 minutes. But in that ti I’d only added 2 XP. That was worrying - if I got less and less XP per minute then things would get very tedious, very quickly, and I wouldn’t co close to having 1,000 by the end of the month.
One of the players caught my eye. It was 7-a-side and one team had two female players. The one I was interested in didn't have good attributes, at least, not in a footballing sense. I allowed myself to discreetly perv at her for 5 minutes, and another check showed that I'd earned 5 XP.
Ti for another experint! I watched the ga allowing myself to get distracted, looking at what the other spectators were doing, checking my phone. Guess what? After 10 minutes of that, I'd earned 3 XP. Then I set a tir for 6 minutes and watched carefully until it beeped, and boom. 6 XP in the bank. So clearly there was sothing about how intently I watched the matches that factored into how much experience it was giving . That made sense.
A vast, stadium-shaking yawn oozed out of . I'd learned enough for one day.
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