The first sester ended, and so did the sumr session.
Now, as we step into July, Han-gyeol and I will soon have to part ways for a while.
As the days I can spend with Han-gyeol grow fewer, my heart refuses to settle.
The thought of a life without him already fills with sadness and regret.
The bed we shared.
The sofa we sat on together.
The dining table where we ate side by side.
In a ho filled with mories of us, I’ll have to endure a year and nine months.
But I have to stay strong.
After all, the one who’s truly enduring this is not , but Han-gyeol.
My sadness and regret would only add to his worries right now.
The best I can do is to show him even more love and affection.
Though it’s unsettling to know I can’t do much else, I’ve decided to focus on cherishing the present.
“Eun-ha, I’m heading out now.”
“Mm, take care~”
“I won’t be back too late.”
“Alright, have a good ti~”
Tonight, Han-gyeol is having dinner with his friend, Jang Yujin.
“I might drop by my parents' place while I’m at it.”
Since I’d be alone, I thought I’d pick up so fall clothes and restock on kimchi from ho.
Dressed comfortably, I took the subway to my family’s house.
“What brings you here unannounced?”
As soon as I arrived, I saw my brother sprawled on the sofa, as expected.
“I didn’t co here just to see you.”
“Neither did I say I was glad to see you.”
“I ca because we’re out of kimchi at ho, so I thought I’d grab so, along with my fall clothes.”
“Where’s Han Han-gyeol? Didn’t he co with you?”
“Nope, he has dinner plans with a friend.”
I took out a container from the kitchen drawer and headed to the kimchi fridge.
“Ah, that’s too bad~ I wanted to see him.”
“You won’t be seeing him much from now on.”
“Why? Is he going to the military?!”
The word “military” made freeze for a mont.
I turned to him and nodded slowly.
“He is? When?”
“He’s expected to go in September. He applied for the Air Force.”
“Wow… Yeah, so guys go right after the first sester ends. Are you sure you’ll be able to wait for him?”
I frowned slightly at his question.
“What’s with that? Of course, I will.”
“Everyone says that at first. My ex-girlfriend also said she’d obviously wait~.”
My brother turned back to the TV.
Yes, he did have a girlfriend before he enlisted.
However, they broke up when he was a corporal.
Though I didn’t want to bring up a sore subject, I asked carefully.
“What did she say when she broke up with you?”
“There were things we couldn’t understand about each other. Looking back, it probably would’ve ended that way anyway.”
“But can’t people work things out by talking if they don’t understand each other?”
My brother glanced at slightly.
“Do you think it’s that simple?”
“No, I know it’s not, but if you try to talk things out—”
“Talking things out isn’t as easy as you think. You and Han-gyeol… You two are special.”
…He’s right.
“So, as soone who’s been through it, do you have any advice? Like, how to wait for soone?”
My brother responded indifferently.
“Just keep living your life. I get that Han Han-gyeol is a huge part of your world, but rather than waiting around endlessly, you should stay busy with your own things to make ti pass faster. Tell him that, too. It’s good to co out of the military with sothing, even sothing small.”
“Han-gyeol plans to study for his tax accountant license while he’s in there.”
“That’s huge. And if he’s in the Air Force, he’ll get frequent leaves. He’ll probably get an off-base day every six weeks or so. Just think of it as long-distance, not the military. It’ll be easier that way.”
“You think that’ll help?”
“Han Han-gyeol would probably feel more at ease if you spent your ti studying rather than hanging out. Not that he’d worry, given how laid-back he is, but it’d be good for him to know you’re working on your goals, too.”
“Exactly. Even if he wouldn’t worry, I don’t want to do anything that might remotely concern him.”
“Exactly. Just keep dating like you are now. Just think of it as seeing each other a bit less.”
Today, My Brother Looked a Little Different.
“But why did you break up with your girlfriend if you thought all this through?”
“I didn’t realize it back then; it only beca clear after we split. If I could go back in ti and relive my life, I wouldn’t act that way.”
“But… you’d have to go back to the military again.”
“Holy sh—! No way! I’d never do that again. If you ever et soone who’s been to the military twice, introduce .”
“Why?”
“Anyone with the ntal strength to go through the military twice can probably conquer space! I should be friends with soone like that.”
Though the conversation veered off in a strange direction, my brother’s words were unexpectedly helpful.
“Thanks for the talk. It actually helped a lot.”
“So… does this an you’ll buy chicken?”
“I’ll even throw in cheese balls.”
“You should be the older sibling.”
I think I finally know how to handle this.
****
When I got back ho, I decided to have a chat with Han-gyeol before bed.
“Han-gyeol!”
“Hm?”
“Co here and sit for a bit.”
I patted the spot beside on the sofa, and freshly showered, he settled in next to .
“What’s up?”
“I have sothing to tell you.”
“Yeah? What is it?”
“You’ll be going to the military in two months, right?”
“Mm-hm.”
“I’ve made up my mind!”
He tilted his head curiously.
“What kind of decision?”
“I’m going to keep in touch with you often, and we’ll go on dates when you’re on leave. But… let’s not get trapped by a sense of duty.”
I looked straight into his eyes as I spoke.
“What exactly do you an by not getting trapped by duty?”
“Like, for example, I won’t insist that you only spend ti with when you’re on leave. If you want to be alone, you can relax at ho. And if you want to go on a solo trip, you can go, too.”
“I appreciate you saying that, but, as I ntioned before, you don’t need to be overly considerate of …”
“Yeah! And I’m not saying this just for you. I also won’t let myself feel bound by obligation. It might sound a bit selfish, but if sothing cos up, there might be tis when I can’t et you for a date. If that happens, I hope you’ll understand.”
Before he could respond, I added quickly.
“And rember this, Han-gyeol. I love you, and I’ll always love you, only you. But, until recently, I thought I had to always be considerate of you, and I worried it might make you feel pressured. It could also make start expecting things in return. So… would it be alright if I waited for you with a lighter heart, just like now?”
His eyes widened in surprise.
Maybe he hadn’t expected to be so straightforward.
“I don’t want you to push yourself too hard, either. If you wait for like this, it would make the happiest.”
This ti, it was his turn to continue.
“I won’t be disappointed if you can’t go on a date when I’m on leave. Sure, I’d miss you, but I want you to keep studying diligently and waiting for , just as you are now. I’ll be working hard, too, while I’m in the military.”
“You always work hard, no matter where you are.”
I gently placed my hand on his cheek.
“But I’ll still visit you at least twice a month.”
“Really? You don’t have to, though. If my base is far, even once a month could be difficult.”
“Then, promise to set aside at least an hour for every day! I want to hear about your day, and I’ll share mine with you. How’s that? A fair deal, right?”
I clearly communicated my wishes without making him feel pressured.
“What if I want to talk more?”
“Then just say so!”
“But what if you’re busy?”
“Then we’ll make up for it by talking even more the next day~”
I answered with a bright smile, and, seeing my face, he seed convinced.
“Are you serious? Don’t just say this and end up overthinking things on my behalf.”
“Absolutely! No need to worry!”
Hearing my response, Han-gyeol bead with a gentle smile, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling close.
“Thank you… for saying that.”
“Oh, co on, it’s nothing! Hey, let’s take one more trip together before you leave for the military!”
“Sounds good~ Where should we go?”
“Hm… Busan! I want to see the ocean again.”
“Busan sounds perfect. What do you want to do there?”
“I want to feed shrimp crackers to the seagulls!”
Han-gyeol burst into laughter at my answer.
“Pfft—! What? That’s all?”
“Why are you laughing?! I’ve only seen it in videos; I’ve never done it myself! It looked so much fun…”
“It’s not feeding them; it’s more like having them snatch it from you. What if they steal all your shrimp crackers?”
“In that case, I’ll just grab them by the neck—bam!”
“It won’t be as easy as you think~”
“Sothing tells I could pull it off.”
With a smile, he leaned down and kissed my forehead.
“You’re so quirky sotis.”
“Talking about shrimp crackers makes want so.”
“Should I go out and grab so for us? Maybe so cold beer, too?”
“That sounds amazing—let’s go, quick!”
“Guess I’ll need to freshen up again.”
I leaned in and whispered softly into his ear.
“Want to shower together?”
“Now I feel like I should shower first.”
“No way~ Shrimp crackers co first~”
“Alright, alright. Let’s head out.”
“Yup!”
With that, we were off for an impromptu snack run.
--- The End OF The Chapter --
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