It surprised , because I had never thought I would make that mistake - I, who have always been small enough to scramble under the machine. Having touched real power I was unprepared for its complexity. From the soul flows strength, yes, but it is only one piece of the puzzle.
I worried about the evil inherent in souls from the mont I first gained mine - one piece of that larger problem, in retrospect. The soul slipped into my flesh from Claude, and as the last gasp of life departed his body I gained the sight to know what you did to him, and to the doctor. Even with their betrayal of so fresh, I was horrified; I swore to never use my soul.
Then ca Severs camp, and the soul showed the deaths of my friends. I dont know if I could have saved them, but I did not try - too afraid of what you had shown to do anything but watch them fall. When you ca I dared to hope, and tried just once to save a man dying in front of ; it saddled with another soul, and the knowledge of how irrevocably I was bound to you.
In ndian the sting felt less present. Under Unai I learned healing correctly, safely. He was the first one who ever kindled hope rather than fear in . I helped soldiers in the first days of the expedition, but when I healed a Safid - I assu you rember that day.
I did not let it deter . With Unais encouragent I kept healing, and it helped. I did so much good; I thought I had grown to a place where I could take my stand against the world. I dared to believe I was enough to make a difference. I assu you rember that day as well.
- Annals of the Seventeenth Star, 693.
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