All Redoubt personnel are to fall back to 0-X-Hold until advised otherwise. No disruption to the transfer ceremony on 1 Waning will be attempted. An ergency eting of all Redoubt and Starfall personnel of C-grade or higher will be held imdiately, attendance mandatory.
All other priorities are rescinded. Stand to, gentlen.
- Institute Circular #3566, 48 Gleaning 693.
Michael awoke before the dawn, instantly and thoroughly awake in such a way that he didnt bother contesting it. He slid out from under Sobriquets arm; she grumbled and rolled until the warm, vacant covers were entirely hers.
Outside the tent was purpled twilight, limned with faint hints of gold to the east. The grass sparkled with frost, Michaels breath fogging the air. He stood and stretched, enjoying the quiet view until the crunch of footsteps on frozen grass made him turn.
Morning, Lars said cheerfully, waving from within a bulky, enveloping coat. Up early today?
Michael shrugged. Later than you. He looked around and saw nobody else up. Was there another sentry, or are you on watch?
The latter, Im afraid, Lars sighed. So of the n were lagging and I volunteered for my turn at the post - keep them fresh for tomorrow, you know.
Im not too well-versed in military matters, but I thought officers generally didnt stand watch, Michael observed.
Lars smirked. Im hardly an officer now, am I? Just a deserter, and theres more than enough of those. His smile faded. Truthfully, I enjoy standing watch. Perhaps more because its beneath my station. Its a simple job, yet important. A rare bit of quiet.
I can see that, Michael said, thinking back to when Jeorg had forced him to stand in an orchard; how his perception of it had shifted with ti. Maybe I should try it out so night.
Im not sure the lads would tolerate it from you, Lars chuckled. Theyre not much for military decorum, but I expect it would keep them up knowing you were losing sleep on their behalf.
Michael frowned. I was half in jest before, but now Im rather set on it. Why shouldnt I stand watch?
Why, thats- Lars blinked, then shook his head. Its just not done. An Assemblymans son standing watch? Unheard of.
Is that who you think I am? Michael asked, failing to keep so irritation from his voice. If my father could not constrain on Ardalt, he shall certainly not do so here.
Lars looked confused for a mont, then began to laugh. Michaels brief ire faded as he watched the other mans amusent; he waited for Lars to compose himself once more.
Ah, Lars said. Its - how do I even begin to explain this to you? His expression sobered. Do you know who my father is?
Michael considered for a mont, then shook his head. I dont believe Im familiar with Lord Webel, he admitted.
Precisely, Lars said. And why should you be? Hes not Lord Webel at all, for one - rely Rolf Webel, of the Korbel Webels. He grimaced. Caused no end of grief as a child, that. No Assembly seat, no title - nothing but money and a mild durens soul, which is enough to get him within sneering distance of his betters.
He turned to look out at the city. But no closer. Theres always a distance between the established families and the upstarts, a watchful eye waiting to see when well slip up and reveal our crude bearing. Things that are waved off as eccentric when the old money does them are ruinous for families like mine.
Sour anger emanated from the Ardan captain, enough to give Michael pause. He held up a hand placatingly. Lars, you know I dont care about-
I know. But for the rest of us- Lars grimaced. We spend our whole lives striving for a scrap of what you were born with. I dont know if its galling that you discard it so easily, or if its that you might be right to do so.
Michael gave him a considering look, then undid his cuffs. He rolled his sleeves back and held his arms out, hands palm-down; even in the dim twilight the tracery of scars was visible. Its worthless, he said softly. My father is a miserable, lonely, hateful man. Nobody should envy what he has, or what I might have been if I had stayed.
Then what is it? Lars asked. The question was earnest, lacking any of his usual affectation. There must be sothing. Ghars ashes, youre both ant to lead nations - are you telling thats happenstance? What do you have that sets you apart from the rest?
Pain threaded through Larss voice, and Michael did not respond. He rembered hearing his father rant about minor grievances with other Assemblyn, about social events and displays of wealth. Seething that he could not afford the trappings that others flaunted, staying up late plotting elaborate couppance for slights of procedure and formality that played out in the Assembly halls.
Victory had never granted him a reprieve from it, only shifted focus to the next target, the next challenge - and for what? Michael suddenly felt the echo of the dread that had gripped him when he first stared into the inky black beyond life, realizing what all of his failure and struggle would eventually amount to.
He could have taken it, regardless, and inherited everything of his fathers. The na, the title, the vexingly-diocre wealth - and he would have spent his life scrabbling at the sa ladder for aningless incrents of progress. He would have been-
Michaels eyes settled back on Lars. The other man stood quietly, though his breath stead out in quick bursts.
I suppose I owe my father for showing how a life might be wasted, Michael said quietly. And Sera for showing how it might not be.
Lars grimaced. Thats poetic, but not much of an answer.
There is no answer, Michael said. You should live your life in the way that makes you happy, and is worthwhile in your own estimation.
Easier said than done, Lars sighed. I suppose it was hopeless to expect that youd have it in plain language.
Maybe it will co to if I stand the rest of the watch. Michael jerked his head towards the tents. Theres so ti left until first light, you should rest.
Lars gave him a dubious look, but eventually sighed and slouched off towards his tent.
The dawn took its ti in coming, hidden behind sloping hills far to the east. Richter was up first, busying himself with the cookfire; the man spared a glance when he saw Michael standing watch, but only shook his head and went about his work.
Michael smiled, and enjoyed the sunrise.
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