The divine light shines through us all, but it does not pass through unchanged. The facets of our being shape it just as our flaws distort it. We are, each of us, prisms for divinity. Learn to see the light you spread by observing the way your life brings good to others. Learn to know the shape of your being by watching the patterns you cast.
You may be the hazy glass that obscures the divine, or the lens that amplifies and focuses its light. Others will know you by the image your heart shows them.
- The Book of Eight Verses, the Verse of Light. (New Kheman Edition, 542 PD)
He awoke as the sun was just touching the top of the western ridge, feeling more rested than he had in weeks. So noise from inside spurred him to wander back in, where he found Unai speaking with Sobriquet. A cart lay between them, piled with covered dishes and baskets.
She flashed him a smile as she saw him enter. Good timing, she said. Weve just been given our dinner, I was about to co out and get you.
The sll of the food hit his nose as she spoke; his hunger this ti was more earnest than it had been at lunch, absent Leires overpowering presence. He returned the smile and moved to help unload the plates from the cart. The others were drawn from the various corners they had retreated to by the aroma, and before the sunlight had completely fled the sky they were all seated around the suites central table.
Leire had not withheld her hospitality. There was a roast that Michael thought was lamb, along with various breads, sausages and hard, fragrant cheeses. Other dishes were stranger - a sort of stew with eggs, shellfish and bone-white asparagus gave Michael pause, but slled delicious enough that he took a portion anyway.
As the last helpings were being parceled out, Sobriquet rose with her glass in her hand. The others looked to her; Luc hurriedly traded his fork for his glass, already chewing a mouthful of food.
To Daressa, she said. To Gerard and Clair. No matter the end of our journey, Im grateful to each of you for making it with . She held her glass high; Michael and the others rose from their seats to do the sa. They drank, then sat.
There was no further conversation before the food, which proved to be excellent. Plates were cleared and refilled, wine was poured; Charles assud the duty of opening each bottle, his bracelets flowing into thin snakes of tal that adroitly levered the corks free.
Michael kept an eye on him, rembering that spike of fear - justified fear, given what might have happened. He saw no trace of it in him now. Indeed, the fear from the others had faded far past the point where he could sense it, even with an effort of will. Instead there was only warmth, an echo of the wines dull glow in his belly.
and then the officer cos up to see why his n are detained, Charles said, leaning in over the ravaged, empty plates. The light from outside had faded, leaving only the golden glow of the suites lamps. So I snap to attention, straight as a rail, and I say - sir. Sir! He delivered a mocking salute. We were just discussing paynt for what these drunkards did to my poor pig!
The table dissolved into laughter; only an effort of will kept Michael from dribbling wine out of his nose.
So then the officer rounds on the poor drunk bastards, Charles wheezed, wiping a tear from his cheek, and were sneaking off while hes distracted, trying to keep all those shiny Ardan coins from clinking. We get halfway across the plaza, but then Gerard cant help it any longer - he starts laughing.
Charles mid an enthusiastic shushing motion. And I say quiet, quiet! - because theyre right behind us, you see, but then I hear the officer yelling - Gerard had stuck his boots into the cobblestones. And of course he tried to shoot at us, but he dropped his pistol. And when Gerard heard it clatter to the road, the damn fool went back and took it. And - and! As hes walking past the officer, the mans looking at him like he wants to burn a hole straight through him. Gerard stops, looks him in the eye and asks him if hes got any spare magazines for it.
No! Sobriquet laughed. Ghars bones, when was this? Why am I just hearing about this now?
Before you ca along, Charles said, taking another sip of wine. Organized everything, insisted on us running smart operations instead of just doing whatever we thought would piss off the Ardies.
When we were all young and dumb, Emil sighed, toasting the empty air. As opposed to now, when were not so young anymore.
Speak for yourself, Sobriquet retorted, shooting him a haughty look. You and Charles are the old n here. The rest of us still have so life left in us.
Charles snorted. You dont know what life is! he scoffed. You work harder than anyone here, and that includes the man we rescued from the labor camp. He gestured at Luc, who flushed at the attention. How are you going to bring back the spirit of Daressa like that? You need to enjoy life! Drink, sing, eat more als like this!
He smiled, his eyes darting to Michael for a mont. Im sure if you asked so of the others here, theyd have a few more ideas for you. He waggled his eyebrows; Sobriquet threw a napkin at him.
Leaving that aside, she said, a tinge of pink in her cheeks, I believe Unai said there was so sort of dessert on ice, down on the lower shelf of the cart.
Vernon, being the closest, bent down and retrieved a tray with six small rakins upon it. Here, he said, walking around the table to hand them out. Though Im not sure what manner of food it is.
Michael lifted up the small, cold cup as Vernon gave it to him, slling it. The sweet, caral flavor of custard ca to his nose; for a mont he was transported to another evening entirely, amid candlelit gardens and the cool evening breeze.
A weight seed to settle on him, and the smile died from his face. Its goxua, he said quietly. Ive - had it before.
Emil took a bite and smiled appreciatively. As have I, he said. We could take a few lessons from the ndiko, where food is concerned.
Traitor, Charles muttered. Daressa weeps to look upon you. He stuck his spoon in his own, then took a begrudging bite - and another, shortly afterward.
Michael left his own dessert half-finished and excused himself, returning to the balcony. He settled down into the chair he had used before and looked up at the purple sky overhead. A few stars had erged already; the brightest glow ca from the distant city on the shore. Goitxea, he assud. It shone against the dark, lighting the haze around it with a deep amber glow.
So ti later the door slid open, then closed once more. Sobriquet walked out and took the chair beside him, wordlessly handing him his half-finished glass of wine. He contemplated it for a mont, then took a drink.
Do you want to talk about it? she asked.
Michael sighed, then shook his head. Its silly, he said. Its - Sofia made goxua, once, when I was at her house for dinner.
The crazy bitch can cook? Sobriquet asked, raising an eyebrow. I suppose it makes sense that shed be good at it.
She can, Michael confird. Rather well. It was just the five of us that night - her, Isolde, Vera. He took another gulp of wine. Vincent. Just her closest friends. He set his glass down on a side table and looked out over the valley.
I didnt really have any friends growing up, he said. My father had sothing of a reputation, one hed earned well. I didnt really understand- He broke off, shaking his head once more. That night I learned what it ant that my father didnt love , because I saw what I could have had in Sofia and her friends. Their warmth, their joy in each other. There was love there, and I - Ive destroyed that.
He looked up at Sobriquet, feeling the breeze rush over his damp cheeks. Theyll never trust Vera again, and Vincent is dead. And here I am - here we all are. I feel that warmth with all of you, and it feels like Ive stolen it away from the ones who had it first. The ones who risked their lives to help . He managed a small, joyless laugh. Because thats who I am, I suppose. The man who steals whats left over after sothing dies.
Sobriquet didnt answer right away, taking a sip of her own wine. She set her glass down beside his. You made a choice, she said. To save Clair from them, and then to save . They chose to toy with my sisters mind, to try to kidnap , to try to kill all of us at Siad. What happened to them wasnt your fault.
Tell that to Sofia, he muttered. Im fairly certain shes going to hunt until one of us dies. I cant even bla her for it. If I had lost what shes lost-
For soone so unassuming, you have a knack for being arrogant, Sobriquet sighed. Dont take Sibyls bla from her shoulders. She harvested what she sowed, as do we all. She looked Michael in the eye, her expression fixed and serious. Michael. If I know anything about you, I know that you tried your utmost to spare them from harm. I will not hear you say otherwise; I know you tried. You cant save a person from themselves.
Michael sighed. It doesnt lessen the sting of knowing that all of this, this joy we had tonight - that it ca at the cost of sorrow for those that had helped in the past.
Damn it, you ox, she said, exasperated. And what of the joy youve secured for others? Hope, for Daressa, that we might not perish under the boots of foreign invaders? Hope for ndian, even? Would you tell us to desist in the war because it might inconvenience Saleh and Amira, who have also aided us?
No, Michael replied. I just - wish there was another path. One that didnt involve so much suffering.
Sobriquet let out a long breath, then leaned back in her chair. Do you know, she said, when I was younger, I used to hear people talk about the problems the country faced. How Saf was so strong, taking our territory. And I thought to myself - it will all be fine in the end. Soone will do sothing about it, before things get truly bad.
She raised an eyebrow. And so I waited. Just after my parents died I was too young to do anything else. After Clair joined the resistance, with in tow, I had a hope - a childs hope, that she might be the one who fixed everything. Even years later, after I got my soul, as powerful as it was, I thought - surely, soone will co along and fix things now, and I can help them.
Michael said nothing, listening to her speak; she paused to drain the last of the wine from her glass.
Then one day Clair was caught out on a raid. There was gunfire, n were dying. I was there, as Sobriquet; I saw they were all going to die - and I realized that nobody was coming. She set her glass back down and looked at Michael, her eyes glinting with reflected starlight.
I had never hurt anyone before that day. I was the baby of the resistance cell, they doted on . I only scouted, looked, snuck about like a rat. But that day, I laid my hands on every Ardan soldier I could reach. I showed them pain, tornt, agony that drove them senseless. And when it was done my sister killed them.
She laid her hand across her chest. It was . I had been waiting all those years, and in the end I was waiting for myself. My sister was waiting for , the resistance was waiting. The whole country, free and occupied, waiting for to wake up and fight. So I did.
Michael snorted. And you call arrogant, he murmured, smiling.
It earned him a punch on the shoulder. You ass, Im one of the Eight, she shot back. My point is that I had the power to change things for a long ti before I believed that I could. Or should, for that matter. I see it in you too. You dont think you have the right to decide for others, and though I find that rather endearing - theyre not making a decision. All those people out there, theyre just waiting. I think you should consider that they may be waiting for you.
You think I should accept Leires offer, Michael said. It ca out with a hint of accusation that he did not intend, but Sobriquet only shrugged.
I think you should ask her what made her decide to fight, she said. Ask her if the benefit outweighs the loss. And - ask her if she felt ready to decide the fate of others, when she received her soul.
Michael nodded slowly. And what of Lucs argunt? he asked. That by accepting her soul, I would complete Sparks work for him?
She laughed, then shook her head. Luc is afraid, she said. Not without reason. The power you already hold is trendous. With Stellars soul, there would be nobody who could stand against you should you prove to be monstrous at heart. To Luc, who has known only monstrous n, the prospect is terrifying.
He should be scared, Michael said. Im scared. Earlier, when Charles cowed Luc, I - I think I ca within monts of killing him, almost before I realized it. I dont believe Im a bad man, but Im nowhere near good enough to wield this kind of power. I cant be perfect in every mont, and each soul makes those imperfect monts deadlier.
He sighed, then looked over at Sobriquet. She was smiling at him beatifically, tracing her finger around the rim of her empty glass.
I know youre afraid too, Michael said. You try to bury it, but I can feel it lurking.
I told you not to judge by my base impulses, she said. Feel what we may, its what we choose to act on that defines us. You did not allow your soul to harm Charles, and I do not allow myself to listen to that fear. Fear is an animal thing, mindlessly whispering that you could harm . I act as the person who knows that you never would.
There was a flicker of sothing unreadable in her face, a complex twist of thought that ca and went before Michael could properly glimpse it. Sobriquet leaned forward for a mont, her eyes on his - then she sat back, sighed and rose to her feet.
Talk to Leire, she said. Hear her out. And if you need to talk about it more, Ill be - waiting. She gave him an exasperated smile, then shook her head. Goodnight, Michael.
Goodnight, Sera, he said, watching as she lingered for a bare mont - then walked back inside, letting the door shut softly behind her. Michael slumped back into the chair, draining the last of his wine and letting his eyes drift up to the growing host of stars.
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