Im not sure who Im writing to anymore, if not you. There was a peace to knowing that you would be waiting at the end, and a balance. The man who started this odd new chapter of my life would be the one to bring it to its close.
I wanted it to be you - but Im not sure I ever knew you. I saw what I wanted to see, what I ALWAYS tried to see, but there are no perfect n. A harsh standard, I know, but what else can withstand the power of a soul?
Our minds are the weak link, even as they are our strength. The drive to improve is central to our being. Yet there is no direction there, nor is there a limit; the sa impulse that drove us to build a grand factory that can feed or clothe thousands will tell us to staff that factory with children because they may be paid a quarter-wage. And I, who should not have had a soul, now have power without direction - without limit.
The world is malleable, and my every breath is a hamrblow. My will, formless as it is, exerts itself upon my surrounds. Every day it grows worse, yet if I set the power aside it will simply pass to you - and through you wreak more destruction still. There are none of us prepared for this burden.
I understand the doctor better now. When faced with a machine so obviously broken and insufficient for its task, there is nothing to do but fall back to that most basic of drives - and improve upon it.
- Annals of the Seventeenth Star, 693.
The storm ca quickly, drawn by the conflict between Luc and Saleh; the tornted air let loose with a freezing deluge of rain. The n scrambled to make their camp in ti, shaken from the assault as they were, but they mostly managed.
Michael found himself in one of the command tents, sowhat cramped now that it held him, Sobriquet, Amira and Saleh, along with a few Safid staff and Zabala for good asure. There was no table, nor any furniture but a few cots. Michael lay sprawled on one of them, still feeling lightheaded from his earlier fight; everyone else was either sitting or, in Amiras case, pacing rapidly back and forth.
We believe hes back in Gharon, one of the Safid n said. Our scouts havent seen him in person, but the sense of - dread is there. He licked his lips nervously. Candidly, holy ones, we may still be too close to the city. So of the n cannot sleep.
Michael sighed and extended Spark outward, lightly pushing against the miasma of fear that seeped from the camp; he had taken it as a natural consequence of Lucs attack, and in all likelihood it was no more than that. The source mattered less than the effect, though, so he worked to gently counteract it as best he could without offering undue strain to the n. The answering pulse of relief and exhaustion more than justified his efforts.
The officer who had spoken felt it too, inclining his head to Michael. My thanks, Great Holy One, he murmured.
Saleh smiled at the officers. Thank you, he said. I believe weve heard enough. We will deliberate. It was a dismissal, and the officers heard it as such; they filed towards the exit of the tent, leaving only the great souls - and Zabala, who sat near Sobriquet with his eyes closed.
It seems I owe you more thanks than Ive given, Saleh said, looking to Michael. To hear my n tell it, youve taken up the role of a commander with no small flair.
With a grunt of effort, Michael sat up. I hope youre not about to tell that by commandeering your n Ive broken Safid law or sothing, he said.
Saleh chuckled. No, no - far from it, actually. As one of the Eight - or three - you represent a codified exception in several of our laws. n who feel called to follow you may do so freely, so long as their service does not harm Saf. He stepped closer, peering down at Michael where he sat. And that service resulted in the Seer being driven from our lands, and the Sword killed outright, so Id wager that theyre secure in their choice.
Michael had to resist shrinking back from Saleh as the other man stood near; whether it was a trick of perception or real heat, it felt like looking into an open oven. She did run, then? Sofia, I an.
On a ship down the coast, it seems, Saleh confird, his eyes fixed on Michael. Alone save for her cousin. Very curious behavior. If you had any thoughts on her motives, I would be delighted to hear them.
She took her obruors to the city, Michael said, hesitating only a mont; there was little benefit in hiding anything from Saleh - or anyone, now. Secrecy was a hard habit to break, though, and the words resisted being said at first. Im not sure if she originally intended to gather soldiers from Gharon, or if she had her plan laid out before Friedrich and I t - whatever the case, she gave her obruors to Luc and left. Lucs opinion was that she did it to spite .
Interesting. Saleh smiled faintly, tracing his fingers over his bare scalp. What does it say when the one who can see farthest cuts her losses and runs away? Nothing good. He shook his head. Nothing good at all. Yet there is hope there. That she thought to tip the scales ans that the scales are close to tipping. That she escaped ans that we need not face her soul alongside the others. We are tested to our limit, but always given a path forward.
Sobriquet made a face, and Saleh laughed. Im sorry, he said, holding his hands up. I deliver enough sermons that I find it hard to say anything else, at tis. He nodded to both of them in turn. But it is difficult not to feel the path under our feet. You could have co west without pausing to handle the Ardan remnants.
As Amira said, once - Friedrich was my test, Michael said, nodding to her. Mine to handle. Every ti Ive ignored that, the result has been needless death. It was ti for to listen.
Saleh chuckled. Shes a wise woman, he said, his eyes drifting to the stump of her hand. When she wants to be.
To Michaels surprise, Amira flushed and looked away, cradling her arm against her chest. He looked away as well, feeling like an uninvited intruder into an intimate mont; Salehs smile had turned into sothing more sincere.
In the end, the Sword passes to you, he said. I had suspected it might. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that you and Kolbe werent finished yet. It gave cause to ponder how I felt about the idea before it happened. His eyes settled on Michael. Did you know that the Sword had a Safid bearer, before Kolbe?
Michael nodded cautiously. I seem to recall hearing that, he said.
Zahra Alsaif, Saleh said. My friend and ntor, and an example I strive towards with every new day. She found independence from the Cults in secular, military power and wielded it expertly. Id venture to say that much of our current success in military affairs has its roots in her reforms. True to her soul, she brought - disruption. Change. A revision to the established order, and not a popular one at the ti. But change is a mandate; the choice cos in how the broken pieces are forged anew.
Michael felt an odd chill as Saleh spoke. The sense of heat from the man had not diminished, but his words word their way in icy rivulets down his back. It was more than the mans obvious intent; his observations on Severs nature cleaved fairly close to so of Michaels own. The feeling of walking in anyones footsteps was unnerving; to feel it from Saleh was downright uncomfortable.
She sounds like a very different person from Kolbe, Michael said, managing to keep his voice even. I would have liked to et her.
In a way, you have, Saleh said. We beco our souls, to an extent, and though you have more than most it is impossible to bear a great soul without feeling its weight. He paused. I wonder if you might show what the Sword looks like in your hands?
Michael blinked, trying to count the ways this could be a trap; in the next mont he decided that it was probably safe. He cast about the narrow confines of the tent until he spied a tiny stone in one of its corners, under Zabalas cot. He motioned for the ndiko officer to stand; Zabala did so with a sigh and stepped a few wide paces towards the center of the tent.
Keeping his sight fixed on the stone, Michael drew forth his soul and cut it in two. There was no noise, not even a puff of dust to mark the strike; where there had been one stone there were now two, cut to a mirror polish on one face.
For the first ti, Michael saw genuine surprise on Salehs face, followed by an outburst of delighted laughter. He clapped his hands together once, then twice, slowly. Michael noticed that Amira had gone very still behind him - not the stillness of fear, but a catlike observation of his handiwork.
Wonderful! Saleh said, still chuckling. Oh, she would have loved you. Not a blade at all, but a parting - and without the fanfare of your predecessor. Yet I do detect so of his influence there. Salehs forehead furrowed. As detestable was he was, I cant deny that he found so - wisdom, if thats the proper term. A powerful, dangerous man. I feel as though those with power of their own could use the occasional reminder to fear such n. He did not look at Amira, though Sobriquet did; Amira noticed the glance and gave an entirely mirthless smile in return.
Michael t Salehs eyes, which had not strayed from him. In fact, they bored into him now with more than their usual intensity. He t them. Fear is natural when faced with power, he said. I know that more than most. But as n we may choose to ignore our base impulses.
Instinct is a potent teacher, Saleh murmured. One whose instruction is hard to ignore, and often wise to follow.
Michael inclined his head. As you say. But when instinct tells you to rethink your opinions, that is only - what were your words? Mandating a change?
Saleh smiled - he had never really stopped smiling; never did, even if it was just a twinkle in his eye. But this ti it was slow, deliberate. Michael could feel the weight of the other mans attention settle on him.
As I say, Saleh replied. And then I have a choice to make, of how to remake that image in my mind. What do you think would be prudent?
I tend to choose trust. Michael raised an eyebrow. Unless theres a compelling reason to choose otherwise.
Saleh humd, tapping his fingers against his chin. Youre a different young man from the one I t a few months ago, he said. A change, I think, that is entirely independent from that soul you bear; independent from the soul you snatched away from such a - powerful, dangerous man. He let his hand drop. It does make one wonder what sort of man you will be in the next few months, should we succeed here.
Michael felt the air stiffen between them. Amira had stepped closer to Saleh, her hands relaxed at her sides; her posture was once again loosely predatory, brimming with action. He licked his lips, considering his next words carefully-
Stop it, Sobriquet said, glaring at Saleh, then at Michael. Ive never understood the joy you people get in talking circles around each other; if thats what you want then we can put both of you in a room with Lekubarri and sell tickets to the show. But for right now - we have a common enemy. Weve collaborated before, and were going to damn well do it again because it matters this ti.
She jabbed a finger at Saleh. Were going to trust you because it doesnt benefit you to betray us before Luc is dead. And you - youre not going to trust us with anything. Youre going to trust him. She turned her arm to point at Michael.
Which brings us back to our circles, Saleh said mildly.
No. Sobriquet stepped forward, standing closer to him; Amira did not move, but her attention slid quietly towards Sobriquet. There are no more circles. Just a choice. She jerked her head towards the general direction of Gharon. You need to decide if youre going to be part of the world that exists alongside Michael. There is no other path forward.
The smile crept back onto Salehs face, and he spread his hands. If you were aiming to reassure -
Not likely, Sobriquet said, cutting him off. I couldnt even if I wanted to, because you dont care what I think. You dont let any of it reach you, because you know youre smarter than , more powerful than , more righteous in your faith. I doubt theres been a person you seriously listened to since this Zahra lady got herself killed.
Salehs face went affably blank. Michael felt the first note of sothing besides forge-heat from the man, though, an ugly resonance that pushed through the overwhelming glare of his soul.
I certainly dont feel as obstinate as you say, Saleh murmured. And I do value other perspectives. I wonder, Seeker, if your sight is as clear as you think. I wonder what it would see if it turned inward.
Sobriquet laughed. Are you expecting to claim so sort of high ground? Were both monsters, you and I. The only difference between us is that I dont pretend to bear power with any grace. She took one more step closer, standing within arms reach of Saleh. You are intelligent, Taskin, so you have to know how fucking lucky we are to be having this conversation about Michael, and not anyone else. I know who I would have been with his soul. What I would have done to you and yours. I think you know who you would be, too.
Saleh looked down at her impassively. Michael forced himself to keep his eyes trained forward, feeling the forge-glow build within Saleh. Amira was a sculpture of steel wire, poised and tense, monts from jumping forward. Michael made to rise from his cot-
I do appreciate your candor, Saleh said. The heat died away fractionally; Amira hesitated. And the novelty of such rhetoric turning towards alliance, for a change, rather than war. At the end of the day, though, it matters very little how I feel about matters - because you are right. He inclined his head towards Sobriquet. It benefits both of us to work together, for the mont. If nothing else, I can trust in that.
Sobriquet looked at him for a long mont, then nodded slowly. Then were settled, she said.
I do look forward to it, Saleh said. However brief our association may be, and I believe it shall regrettably be brief indeed. His expression sobered. The threat is as serious as you say. It is customary to bend the language of faith to worldly ends here and there, but I hope you see that I am in earnest when I say that Luc Flant is the heart-eater. To pretend otherwise would be willful blindness, and it ans that he must be stopped - at any cost.
His eyes settled back on Sobriquet. And to that end, we must all be prepared to sacrifice, to strive - and, in the direst case, even to listen. His eyes twinkled. I shall see what I can do about this weather so that we can depart. I think it best not to give our quarry ti to catch his breath. Caller, Seeker - be ready to move.
Salehs eyes flitted to each of them in turn, then he ducked out of the tent. Amira followed soundlessly, still oddly-subdued. Michael sagged back into his cot, letting his breath out in a long rush. Ghars blood, he muttered. I thought I was going to have to pick you out of Amiras teeth.
Sobriquet snorted. Shes at least honest, she said. We dont have ti for Taskins gas, not now. You shouldnt indulge him.
So very sorry, Michael said dryly. We all know how easy he is to lead around in a conversation-
She rounded on him. Im serious, she warned. Dont let him play the rival to your power. Its what he wants. Its the only way he gets to stay important in this new world where the Eight dont matter as much as one idiot Ardan. Sobriquet held her eyes on him for a long mont, then punched him lightly in the shoulder. She sat down beside him on the cot.
Ill try, Michael sighed. Itd be simpler if we could focus on one madman at at ti.
We at least have so ti to rest, even if it isnt likely to be long, she said, squinting up at the tent roof. I think the rain is slackening already. Try to rest. I know how hard it is for you to get new souls.
Michael grimaced. Just a few low souls this ti, he said. A few too many, but it could have been worse. I thought for sure hed have killed more ensouled.
Sobriquet turned to look at him with an odd expression on her face. He did, she said. A whole squad of potentes, a few scalptors and so assorted others - more, probably, but I dont know the total tally yet. Strange that none of them ca to you.
Its not so strange, Michael said. Affinity isnt that easy to build - thankfully, or Id be in a worse state than Luc right now. He frowned. I didnt know so many had died.
There wasnt anything to do against him. It was - terrifying, Ill admit. Worse than Sever. Luc doesnt question if what hes doing is right, or if its best for the future. Theres no human left there. Just a faceless legion of dead. She shook her head, shivering. Ive never seen anything like it.
Michael nodded, letting his head sink back as much as the uncomfortable cot permitted. And hopefully never will again, he muttered. If we can hold things together just a bit longer.
She had nothing to offer in response; Sobriquet laid down on the cot beside him and listened to the fading rain on the canvas above.
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