Pu Sangzhi finally opened Huo Feng’s WeChat chat window, and saw the full screen of ssages Huo Feng had sent to her...
An entire row of voice ssages...
There were short ones and long ones.
Pu Sangzhi’s trembling fingers pressed the last voice ssage, the music in her earphones stopped, and Huo Feng’s voice ca through, quivering with sobs.
He seed to be crying and begging her, "Do you really not care about anymore? Not even a little bit... If you cared about even the slightest bit, if you saw , Huo Feng, as a person at all, you would co back... I’m begging you... Co back..."
The words "I’m begging you" resonated through the screen; one could hear the trembling in his voice as if he was choked up with tears.
Just by listening to this short snippet of voice ssage, Pu Sangzhi felt a pain in her heart as if it were being pricked with needles!
She let out a soft sigh, clutched the bedding tightly, her small hand gripping the blanket forcefully, feeling so uncomfortable inside!
She went on to press each ssage one by one...
One after another, listening to Huo Feng cry on the other end of the phone, so ssages were filled with inconsolable sobs, him crying and cursing, cursing so foully, yet only making her feel heartache!
He said, "What do you take , Huo Feng, for? Watching chase after you every day, seeing how you render helpless... You were sure that I wouldn’t dare to hurt you, sure that only you could hurt ... Yes, only you can hurt , and you’ve won, you finally made , Huo Feng, cry. You’re good, you’re fierce... You’re damn aweso!"
He also said, "What can I do to make you co back? Just tell , how can you co back? Otherwise, tell where you are? As long as you say it, I can go anywhere... I’ll definitely co find you, I’m not afraid of heaven or hell, I dare to barge anywhere... But where the hell are you? Where?"
He even said, "Pu Sangzhi, I’m telling you! You can only hurt once! You have this one chance to stab ! After this ti, I don’t care if you co back! Even if you do, I won’t want you anymore! I’ll dump you! I don’t give a damn about you! I get annoyed just looking at you! You’re really freaking annoying!"
Even after raging, he could still cry and beg her, "Where the hell are you... Damn it... I’m going insane... Do you want dead? Reply to ... Reply to , Sangzhi... I won’t let you leave , Sangzhi..."
Pu Sangzhi had only listened up to this page of voice ssages, and her eyes were already uncomfortably red and swollen...
She touched her chest, took a deep breath, then inhaled deeply again, exhaling deeply...
At this mont, it seed that only deep breaths could relieve her, only deep breaths could make her feel a bit more comfortable.
But no matter how she tried to calm herself, she couldn’t control the emotions welling up inside, and tears still uncontrollably rolled down from her eyes, sliding down her temples to the pillow.
She wiped away her tears, then wiped them again...
The tears flowed like a tap that had been opened, impossible to stop.
Her heart was also deeply suffering from oppression and suffocation!
Pu Sangzhi sniffled, and in the darkness, she finally couldn’t help it, and began to cry softly...
"I’m sorry..."
She whispered an apology, her voice so low that only she could hear it...
She was really very sorry to him.
So sorry to Huo Feng...
At this mont, she could guess that he must have been drinking, his words were filled with drunkenness, as he raved like a drunken man.
He must be feeling terrible! Surely more pained than she could ever be!
He was the one who had been deceived, the one who had given so much, only to be deceived to this extent.
Compared to her tears now, which were nothing, that tall and strong man who she had never seen shed a tear before, was crying for her like this.
One could imagine how much pain he was in?
Pu Sangzhi’s fingers scrolled up, in one breath reached the top, and then slowly started to read down from the very top ssage...
And so, she saw Huo Feng’s entire day, from the initial excitent and anticipation, to the subsequent anger and outrage, to the later pessimism and despair...
The entire emotional journey of his heart...
Through these texts, completely exposed in front of her eyes.
Pu Sangzhi even knew what he had been doing all day...
He first went to the high-speed train station by himself to wait for the train, then he arrived in Hangzhou, and then he returned to Wenzhou, then, he threatened her, saying he wouldn’t take the exams, he wouldn’t study, he would start to degenerate.
Pu Sangzhi didn’t know with what feelings she had finished reading Huo Feng’s entire day...
By the ti she had scrolled through the long chat history, she was already crying inconsolably, with tears and snot all over her face...
Wiping it over and over again, the corners of her eyes already wet from her tears, crying so much that they could wring out a handful of water...
Pu Sangzhi curled up in the quilt, sobbing.
After reading the ssages once, she couldn’t help but start over again, flipping through them from top to bottom all over again...
She couldn’t bear to leave Huo Feng either.
She really missed him.
Since she left the school on Monday, she had thought of him every day, thought of him every night before sleep, and he was the first thing on her mind when she awoke.
He was in her conscious thoughts, he was in her dreams, her mind was filled with him...
"I’m sorry, sob sob... I’m sorry, Huo Feng... I’m sorry to you..."
At this mont, other than apologizing, Pu Sangzhi could not find any more words to say.
Yet this apology was also for herself to hear—Huo Feng couldn’t hear it, Huo Feng would never know.
She had so many words, so many, many thoughts hidden in her heart.
She couldn’t speak them, and there were even many reasons preventing her from speaking them out loud.
So much so, she could not declare her liking as boldly and carefreely as Huo Feng did, and she couldn’t express love without any reservations.
She could only carefully preserve it, reigning in these emotions, controlling the timing...
In the confines of her bed, Pu Sangzhi cried particularly hard, her whole body trembling, and the sheets and blankets beca a damp ss.
As she cried, suddenly, she found herself in a warm embrace.
It was Huifen who turned around to hold her, her soft arms enveloping her, gently patting her arm.
She had cried so much that she woke Huifen up...
"Mom!"
Pu Sangzhi finally couldn’t hold back, finally, she cried out loud...
She turned to hug Huifen, her tear-streaked face buried in Cheng Huifang’s chest, as she howled and hysterically said, "Mom—Mom—I don’t want to leave him... I don’t want to transfer schools... I miss him so much, sob sob... Mom..."
Her crying gradually subsided, from the initial loud howling to sobbing, whimpering in tears...
She really had held it in for a long ti.
A very long ti...
Indeed, she could no longer hold it back, could no longer suppress it, and her emotions finally burst forth.
Huifen hadn’t expected her to be so upset. She hadn’t anticipated that Sangzhi, who normally ntioned Huo Feng with an indifferent tone, would react like this after leaving him...
Oh, child.
Huifen thought, children actually understand feelings better than adults, right?
Because children love purely, all their fond feelings co straight from the heart, without a trace of reality attached, just simple and beautiful fondness.
Actually...
She’s still a child.
As a child, she has the right to cry like this.
Not like adults, who have to bear so much pressure, they don’t even have the right to cry.
Huifen sighed deeply, her hand gently patting Sangzhi’s back, caressing down along Sangzhi’s spine, soothingly...
"What should we do now? What should we do?"
Huifen sighed, murmuring with a heart full of lancholy, "How about we go back? Do you miss him?"
Pu Sangzhi nodded quietly in her embrace, nodding while sniffling and speaking unclearly, "I really miss him so much... Mom, I miss him so much, sob sob... I didn’t say goodbye to him properly, I was wrong... I should’ve said a proper goodbye, sob sob... I made him so upset today, I heard him crying... Mom, he cried, sob sob..."
The thought of Huo Feng, such a stand-up guy, crying while cursing at her, crying while begging her...
Pu Sangzhi’s heart hurt unbearably! It felt as if ten thousand needles were piercing her heart! The sharp, stabbing pain, wave after wave, was simply overwhelming!
"If that’s what you’re thinking, then say goodbye to him."
Huifen gently rubbed Sangzhi’s back, "Go back, and say a proper goodbye to him."
"Mom..."
Pu Sangzhi held Huifen, her shoulders shaking with sobs, "Mom, mom... Sorry, sob sob..."
Sorry...
She suddenly had an impulse she shouldn’t have.
She wasn’t soone to be ruled by emotions...
She was open-minded about almost everything.
But Huo Feng was her exception.
Huo Feng had already unknowingly taken up residence in her heart...
Toward Huo Feng, she always cared for him as if he were a future husband, nurturing and looking after him...
Her feelings for Huo Feng were definitely not shallow...
Absolutely, not less than Huo Feng’s for her...
It’s just that her affection was so humble, so concealed, she dared not show it...
If she had a good family background, or even an ordinary one...
If she had...
Then she would have dared to express it...
But she didn’t...
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