Jas didn’t leave Slater, even after Slater woke up the next day. In fact, Jas cleared Slater’s entire schedule and quietly took all the scolding without burdening him. He stayed in Slater’s apartnt, not taking his eyes off him.
Jas practically lived there, making sure Slater wouldn’t do anything ridiculous again. Moreover, he was scared to lose a friend. So, the man poured all his energy into playing officer, watching this one prisoner 24/7.
Not to ntion, how could Jas leave when Slater had been acting mute for the first week since that night?
Slater would just lie in bed or sit up, staring at nothingness as if he were losing his mind. Jas had to force Slater to eat and drink; if not, Slater would starve himself to death.
Fortunately, in the third week since the incident, Slater was slowly returning to his usual self. He had started getting better in the second week when he began speaking again, but Jas remained suspicious. He could only relax now because Slater had shown improvent, backed by the doctor.
"I’ll just take this call," Jas remarked, casting a glance at Slater in bed. "Don’t do anything. I’ll really scold you then."
Slater indifferently snapped his eyes at Jas but didn’t say anything. He watched Jas walk out of the bedroom, sighing as if he could finally breathe without Jas policing him.
"Not that I bla him," he murmured, gazing at the window across the room. "It was probably hard for him to witness what he did."
Another deep exhale slipped past Slater as he closed his eyes. However, he quickly opened them again as unwelco mories played before him the second he closed his eyes.
"Hah..." Slater clasped his chest, his heart racing again. Reaching for the glass of water, he chugged it down to calm himself.
When Slater attempted to drown himself, he felt like he had died. For a mont, he was certain he was dead. While he was, all these mories of the past surged in his mind like a flood. They confused him initially, as he had no recollection of those events happening.
But the mory that made the most significant impact on him was from before he woke up after Jas’s resuscitation.
That mory was of Slater in a motel room all alone, sitting on the floor with his back against the bed fra. He rembered holding a gun, smiling bitterly as tears flowed from his eyes. He recalled opening his mouth and shoving the muzzle in it before pulling the trigger.
When he woke up, all the mories were still hazy. It took him so ti for them to grow clearer, answering all the initial questions in his mind. However, the truth didn’t help his situation. If anything, the truth was crippling.
Thanks to Jas, Slater was still alive. If not for Jas coming that night and staying, Slater would have done it again, but this ti for a completely different reason.
Slater raised his brows, glancing at the photo fra on the bedside table. He reached for it to take a look, smiling subtly as his eyes landed on the family photo inside. The photo was taken a few years ago during Penny’s last visit.
"Look at this, fatty," he murmured, pointing at her smiling face and her chubby cheeks. "She even had a double chin, even at this angle."
His smile didn’t last long as it cracked, his eyes softening with guilt and regret before a thin layer of tears coated them. He held his breath until his neck turned taut, but his tears still fell onto the photo fra.
"I’m sorry..." he whimpered, muffling his cries as his grip on the photo fra tightened. "I’m sorry... Penny, I’m sorry."
Slater hugged the photo, his shoulders trembling. "I’m sorry..." he repeated through gritted teeth. "I’m sorry."
"Slater—" Jas, who had returned, halted at the door when he saw Slater. He pressed his quivering lips together, watching Slater cry quietly as if he didn’t want anyone else to hear him. All he heard were the quiet apologies Slater repeated before he quietly closed the door, giving him so privacy.
"Goodness." Jas sighed as soon as he closed the door, turning his back on it. "Just what’s wrong with him?"
Jas felt his eyes sting and wiped them with his arm before he huffed. "Why is he crying so much? Now I’m also crying—damn it!"
***
Slater cried until his eyes were puffy and red. Yet, he kept his gaze on the photo, his attention particularly focused on Penny.
"Penny," he whispered. "You rember everything, don’t you?"
He didn’t need an answer to know that. If these mories were accurate, he didn’t need to hear her answer because it was already obvious how that malnourished little girl had beco so healthy. It was clear why that little girl, who used to approach them to have so bond with them, avoided them at all costs.
Now Slater understood why Penny was like that when she ca ho to the Bennet Mansion. He understood why she couldn’t trust them or want their attention.
She did her best in the past, but what did she get?
If Slater were in her shoes, he would’ve run away.
But instead of doing that, Penny stayed with them. Not only did she stay, but she also let them into her life; she forgave them, stood up for them, and... loved them.
"How can you do that to the people who neglected you and didn’t believe you until it was too late?" he whispered, brushing his thumb over her smiling face. "How... even with two lifetis... can you be so foolish?"
Did these mories help Slater not want to die? Definitely not. If anything, the emptiness he felt was now filled with guilt and regret. He felt full of that. But if Penny was fighting despite the horrible life she had lived at the hands of her own family and others, how could Slater selfishly take his life away?
If he truly regretted his actions and wanted to atone, there was only one way to do that. He had to live and think that this life was not his anymore, but Penny’s.
"I’ll protect you," he whispered, smiling bitterly but reassuringly. "I was late back then, but I won’t be in this lifeti."
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