Just this morning, Penny told herself that, as much as possible, she didn’t want to compare her past to her present life. She had changed, and so had everyone else. However, tonight, she couldn’t help it.
A simple dinner with her siblings was all she had ever wanted before, especially since they each had their own lives and paths to follow.
After what felt like a lifeti, not only did she get that simple dinner, but one that made her realize just how quickly ti flies.
Once she and Atlas finished their al, he suggested they take a walk. Behind the building, there was a garden where people could stroll and enjoy the ambiance. With her arm loosely hooked around his, Penny chuckled to herself.
"Penny, do you trust ?" Atlas’s voice suddenly pierced the silence between them, causing her to look up at him.
Her brows knitted slightly as their eyes t. "Of course, why wouldn’t I?"
"Nothing." He averted his gaze, looking ahead. "Just asking."
Penny tilted her head slightly, studying his profile. She knew her brother well, and she knew Atlas wouldn’t ask a question like that without reason.
’Am I still too distant to them?’ she wondered, looking away, lost in thought. ’But compared to before, I’ve opened up to them more.’
Although not completely, Penny was trying to follow Grace’s advice. It was a continuous process, one she was willing to take patiently. Unless Atlas’s patience had run thin, which was very unlikely. Unlike her other brothers, he was the least emotional and more logical.
’Be it then or now,’ she whispered in her mind, glancing again at his side profile. ’This feels like...’
Penny pressed her lips into a thin line, lowering her gaze. Atlas’s question wasn’t the sa as Hugo’s the other day, but it still reminded her of it.
"Do you trust ?" sounded a lot like "Do you hate ?"
Two different questions, but they carried the sa weight.
’Maybe, before,’ she admitted to herself. ’I hated you all so much that I didn’t even want to be part of the family anymore.’
She bit her lip, trying to stop herself from thinking about the past. It wasn’t necessary anymore. But it seed that the more she tried to push away thoughts of the pitiful Penelope Bennet, the more her mind insisted on recalling them.
"You know, First Brother, I once had a dream." After a prolonged silence, Penny’s quiet voice broke through the stillness. She kept her gaze downcast, carefully walking along the pathway, her arm still linked with his.
Atlas didn’t respond, but he was listening.
A subtle, bitter smile curled at the corner of her lips. "In that dream, you didn’t care about ."
Atlas raised his brows, casting her a sidelong glance.
"In that dream, you didn’t like that I was smart — that I excelled. You hated so much that even when I helped you, you wouldn’t thank for helping out. Instead, you’d scold and make feel that my help was unnecessary," she said, frowning. "I did everything to please you, but you were so an that I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore."
Penny paused and slowly lifted her gaze to et his. This ti, they both stopped walking, staring into each other’s eyes.
"In that dream... I really hated you," she confessed, looking at the sa face that always seed to regard her with disapproval. "I loved you, but I hated you just as much because you were the eldest brother. In my mind, you should’ve been the first to protect , not the first to criticize or throw into the fire."
Deep down, she wanted to stop telling him all of this. Even though she frad it as a dream, and even if he dismissed it as such, she couldn’t stop now. There was an overwhelming urge to continue. After all, she never imagined in this lifeti that she would share her past woes with Atlas.
"I hated you more because no matter what I did, I knew you would never like ," she sighed, her eyes still locked on his. "And I promised myself I’d never forgive you for that. Never. If I ever got the chance, I would humiliate you and give you a reason to hate so I wouldn’t mind being hated anymore. You hated for no reason, so I might give you one to justify it."
Penny paused again, her frown softening into a slight smile. "But then, I woke up," she said. "And I realized it was all just a dream. It wasn’t real. It was all nothing but a nightmare — a terrible one. Nothing more, nothing less."
"I don’t hate you, First Brother," she continued reassuringly. "If there’s one person I trust, it’s you. I’ll always wake up from that terrible dream just so I won’t hate you, no matter what."
Atlas stared down at her face quietly, watching how her eyes shimred with mixed emotions, her lips forming a reassuring smile. He had asked because Charles had ntioned that Penny already knew about his secret. But what he received in return was sothing completely unexpected.
She hadn’t said it outright, but he sensed that she wasn’t just talking about a simple dream. After all, when she was drunk, Atlas could tell that she truly hated him deep down. He never fully understood the reason behind her behavior when intoxicated, assuming it was simply drunkenness.
But if the drunken Penny lived in that dream she spoke of, it explained why she would humiliate him like that. If that theory was correct, Atlas now understood why his sister’s eyes carried so much pain, hatred, and disappointnt.
She might not have been in her right mind back then, but the look in her eyes had been real. Those... weren’t just dreams.
The corner of his mouth tugged into a smile. Slowly, he moved her hand from his arm and gently pulled her into his embrace. The softness and gentleness of his action still caught her off guard, and her brows lifted in surprise.
"I’m sorry, Penny," he whispered. "I would’ve hated myself too in that dream."
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