Forgiving the Bennets, Nina, the Cortez family, and the world was never part of Penny’s plan to begin with. She died so unjustly, but before that, she had already endured unimaginable pain—pain so deep that even the world couldn’t bear to carry it.
If the world had been just a bit more reckless and let her be reborn as an adult, she would’ve cut all ties with everyone. She would’ve led a different life, one where all the people who had caused her pain weren’t in it. It wouldn’t have mattered if she had to live in seclusion—she had lived in seclusion before. The only difference would be that this ti, she would live alone on her own terms, not because no one wanted her in their lives.
But she was reborn as a child, at the most vulnerable ti of soone’s life. So, she had no choice but to live and make her life better with so few resources.
Did that an her pain went away? Not in the slightest.
It took her ti to see the Cortez family as a group she could live with. Even when she knew Jessa only cared about the money Penny brought in, Penny didn’t have expectations, so the disappointnt didn’t hurt as much.
When she had to live with her real family, she couldn’t even bring herself to call them her family. But when she did, she only asked herself one question: Did they deserve her forgiveness?
The answer was: not in the slightest.
But she also told herself that what they had done in their first life wasn’t sothing they had done in this lifeti. They didn’t even rember. Although their inability to recall the pain they had caused her felt so unfair, Penny learned to let it go.
Her desire to see them all grovel at her feet and regret their actions eventually left her heart.
For the longest ti, that’s what she told herself: they didn’t rember, so they were still innocent. She never considered what she would feel if they eventually rembered. If they found out what they had done, what would she feel about it?
She never thought of it, so only now did she get the answer.
The pain they caused might have healed, but it also left a deep and ugly scar. And now, listening to Slater made that scar ache from the inside. His words were like a key to a Pandora’s box that shouldn’t have been opened, releasing all the haunting mories she had tucked away for decades.
"Penny, let us all go. Just leave us all... just like we did. No one will bla you for it."
Slowly, Penny looked back at Slater. Droplets of tears fell on her cheek, swallowing the tension in her throat. She opened and closed her mouth, but the words didn’t co out.
"Since... when?" she whispered. "Since when did you know, Slater?"
His breath stopped, and for a mont, he couldn’t speak. This was the first ti in a long ti she had called him by his na. It was just like how she used to call him back when he didn’t want her to call him brother.
"So ti ago," he answered quietly. "Around five or six years ago."
Penny bit her inner bottom lip. "How?" she forced out another breath. "How did it happen?"
Slater shook his head and shrugged. "I just—just did."
"How?" she repeated, this ti her voice shaking. "You’ve been hiding this from for the past five years, so don’t lie to . Don’t you dare... lie to ."
"..." His mouth quivered as he mustered the courage to confess. "I killed myself. I tried to kill myself, but Jas saved . When I woke up, I was... confused. The dreams I had and the crushing feeling that ca with them then made sense—"
SLAP!
Before he could finish, her hand landed on his cheek. His face was tossed to the side, his cheek throbbing, just like her palm. But when he looked back at her, another resounding slap landed on his face. This ti, the corner of his mouth bled.
"That’s for the years you lied to and hid this from ," she uttered. "That other one is for shalessly acting like nothing happened when you knew what you’d done, but you acted just like everyone else because it was more convenient for you."
SLAP!
After a breath, she raised her hand and struck him again. "That is for all the hurtful things you’ve done to ."
Slater kept his head hung low, the pain in his cheek feeling nothing compared to the pain in his heart. Lifting his head, he anticipated another slap, which landed almost imdiately.
SLAP!
"That..." Penny trailed off, as the tension in her throat beca almost suffocating. Clenching her teeth, she raised her hand again to strike him. However, it just throbbed in the air as her palm slowly turned purple.
Each strike carried every pain he had reopened in her heart. She knew it would hurt him just like it hurt her. But she stopped, seeing that he was just standing there, receiving all these slaps without question or complaint.
Seeing that she stopped, Slater looked up at her. "Go," he whispered, grabbing his arm close to him. "Don’t stop. I deserve the beating. If this will make you feel even slightly better, then I’ll take all of it. Don’t stop, don’t pity ."
Penny chewed her bottom lip as he held her arm while striking himself.
"Just do it—hurt just as much!" he yelled, while striking himself with her hand. "I deserve it. Compared to everything I’ve done to you, this is nothing."
"You..." She clenched her teeth and balled her fist, helping him out a bit by punching him in the cheek instead of slapping him. She hit him so hard that he stumbled back.
For a mont, Slater felt his head shake, but he quickly recovered. He licked the blood from the side of his mouth, nodding. That was better, he thought. A slap was far too lenient.
"That one..." Penny paused. She limped a few steps and grabbed his chest, pulling him close as she raised another fist. But again, she stopped as her fist trembled.
Penny ground her teeth and slowly put her fist down, then grabbed his collar with both hands. Hanging her head low, her tears flooded her eyes as her heart clenched.
"Foolish Third Brother... why... didn’t you tell you were sad?"
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