"I thought I was strong, Iso. But I’ve finally realized that I’m weak. Maybe physically I can crush a mountain, but then questions plague my heart. A place where I can’t hide behind a shield or a wall of knights," he replied.
"I spent days on the Black Sea. Alone. Struggling with mana, infested with centipedes, but all I could think about was my generals. I threw them into the sea to get out. Now, I think about it, I could have teleported, but I panicked. I couldn’t think straight. The waves were immense even below. I could barely see a thing, not even the boat. It was all dark. Teleporting was a bargain, but I just kept thinking. I could have teleported."
He tilted his head toward her.
"Mountain began to speak clearly because I grew and the castle restored him, but each time they die, they will revert and revert until they’re just hunks of flesh and metal doing whatever I mand. What’s the countdown? How many times do they need to die for it to happen? I don’t know, but one death means one quota down. And then, I thought, why didn’t I bring you? Why didn’t I sacrifice you? Doesn’t that mean that I value you more than them? Doesn’t that mean deep within me, I saw them as expendable if it es to it?"
His eyes narrowed. "Do you know what that means? It means all those efforts I thought I put in to make them better, happier might be hypocritical."
He looked away. "People will never forget the Golden Devil, Iso. I fought against that. I refused to be what they wanted, and for a while I thought I was right, but when I floated in that darkness, I thought about it. Was I truly saving my mother back then, or was it just an orchestrated scheme, and I was made to kill all those policemen? Are their deaths truly justified?"
Isolde didn’t know what to say.
"Was it Cain’s plot or was it my mother’s? I thought I was a good person. I want to be a good person because I can’t stand doing wrong, but all of a sudden, it seems... I was the devil in golden armour all along. And I can’t get it out of my head anymore. The woman I wanted to save is the reason for all this. Right in her is the one I love, and yet the true her is the Mana Tree. I thought I could work with it, but it’s hard. It fills me with frustration, with rage. Then, I killed Mrs. Fukushima. It’s meant to be a justifiable death, but I find a part of me asking, how many more? There’s doubt, and it’s ripping me apart."
Isolde laid his head on her thighs and ran her fingers through his golden, messy hair like she had always dreamed of.
"If you were a bad person, you would not be thinking of all this. You have a good conscience, a beautiful one beneath all this muscle. It’s your pass."
"A good heart is a weakness, Iso. The stronger I get, the more I realize this. No one is good. I killed those policemen, three hundred men and many more, believing I was right. I have killed and killed, and all of a sudden, it seems to have caught up with me. I find myself asking why."
Isolde pointed at his chest. "It’s your pass. You’re too good to be with us, Godfrey. Too sweet and cute."
When Isolde saw his right eye narrow, she laughed softly. "You know, when I heard about your mother being the Mana Tree and that I am one of Earth’s Chosen Ones, do you know what I realized?"
Godfrey looked at her.
Isolde smiled. "That Isolde didn’t exist. From before I could begin forming my own way, you were already in my head. My parents had also begun grooming me and making sure they told me I would lead the Pendragon House one day. On one side, the Mana Tree had made sure I would meet up with you and like you. On the other, my parents made sure I would end up as the Pendragon Head. That’s all I am. The ambition and goal of others."
Godfrey couldn’t believe his ears.
"It’s all I’ve ever chased after. You and the position of the Head. Nothing else. Why did I stay even after realizing that my entire life had been manipulated? I looked around and discovered that I loved your heart, and if I was manipulated to, then I don’t want that manipulation to stop. I’m stuck here. I can’t break it off, yet I don’t want to."
"I see myself as a prisoner who loves her cell. But I know, and I’m sure, that you’re a good person. That’s what I came to protect, and I will dip my hand into the darkest pits to keep it. Forgive my failures." She leaned down and pecked his lips.
Godfrey, on the other hand, was dumbfounded by what Isolde just told him.
"What do we do now that you’ve killed one of the highest-ranking officials? They’ll e after you. My dad can’t stop it."
"Iso..."
Isolde glared at him. "Don’t feel pity for me, Godfrey." She laughed. "You’re not even out of your mess, and you’re feeling pity for another. All the signs of your good heart are right there. What we need to handle now is what we are going to do from now on."
She flipped away her hair, which fell on Godfrey’s face when she pecked him.
"All I need to do is clear the trial. Free Earth from the Ruination, and we won’t be bound to it anymore."
"But the trial... you know what it’s going to do to you."
"It has to happen."
Isolde bit her lower lip. "Then, if it does, I want you to chase after Cain while I try to bring you back. Kill him, at least one of him. You owe your wife that."
Godfrey’s right eye gleamed. "I will make sure I will not forget." He left her lap, covered himself with Imperial, and carved two huge words on the floor of the throne room.
KILL CAIN!
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