131. An end, a start
It’s said that ti heals all wounds. However, it is never ntioned that healing leaves, more often than not, scars.
Tomoka took a deep breath of the calming cool air. A month, it had taken a total of thirty days to put back together every fractured piece of her mind. With every part she regained she felt alive. With every piece she got back she felt whole.
Opening her eyes Tomoka looked towards the two loves of her life. Nozomi’s black hair sprawled on the blanket reflected so of the sun’s gentle rays. Hinata’s soft breathing felt like a calming lody to her ears.
The two girls were exhausted after their latest session, falling asleep to either side of Tomoka. Tomoka for her part felt imnse gratitude towards the two, only rivaled by the love she felt for them.
Love, she realized sowhere along the way that what she had felt for them wasn’t love, at least not back then. It had been sothing more towards obsession and possessiveness. Well, taking into account that she couldn't feel perse things beco more complicated. Now however, she realized that back then she didn’t see them as lovers, or anything other than a thing she needed to keep for herself.
Now though, she has learned to love them truly. It’s through this love that she has co to realize the two girls don’t love her either, or rather they do but in an unhealthy way. Dependence, that is the word to describe it. Like a drug Tomoka has beco a sort of emotional anchor that the two use. Normally, that wouldn’t be bad as people in general use others as their emotional anchors. The problem lies with the fact that Tomoka is their sole emotional anchor.
The two girls have friends, yes, but deep down in their subconscious mind they don’t see them as such. In other words, neither Nozomi nor Hinata have developed emotional anchors with others. They feel like they can’t trust anyone else but Tomoka, which is an unhealthy mindset.
Looking at the two girls peacefully napping next to her, Tomoka made a decision. She would help the two with their trauma like they did with her. It's the least she could do for them, not to ntion she loves them and wants the best for them.
That’s right, through the last month Tomoka ca to love and care for them. Love, she had a lot of ti to ponder what it ans to love, what is love? She ca to a simple conclusion: Love is the purest form of care soone could have for soone else.
Soone that Loves is willing to shoulder the world for the one they love even if said love is not mutual. Soone that loves is willing to sacrifice their happiness for that of the one they love. Love is, to put it simply, the driving force that humans need to go against their base nature. Should a greedy man love he would be willing to get rid of his riches for his love. Should a prideful woman love she would be willing to humble herself for her love.
Tomoka being greedy, insane, prideful, and many other negative adjectives, is willing to change for those she learned to love.
Things have changed. She is no longer blind to reality as she had been. Things have changed and needed to continue changing. Plans needed to be remade and rethought. She needed to be better for herself then for those she cares about.
Looking towards the two resting girls again, Tomoka made up her mind. This chaotic world where blood is spilt by the liter everyday needs order. She would bring order to this world whether they want it or not. She would do it even if she needed to bring them kicking and screaming. For them, she would make a safe world where they can live happily with their future family.
Reviews
All reviews (0)