123. To love again
However, things didn’t go as they should have.
“That is disgusting.”
Aurora felt confused, she felt dizzy and tired. Her mind had co to a halt as if it had crashed against a concrete wall. No matter how much she tried her brain couldn’t seem to comprehend what had happened. Worst of all was how her heart hurt. It was as if soone was squeezing it with all their might. It felt as if her heart would stop beating at any mont.
“I don’t understand.” That's all Aurora could say as she tried to keep herself standing. her legs felt like jelly, her muscles like lead. She simply couldn’t understand what was going on.
“What can’t you understand? You disgust ! To think I thought of you as a friend. I feel like puking now.” Hearing that what little strength Aurora had left simply banished. Her legs gave under her as she fell to the floor.
“Tch, no wonder you were all alone back then. To think you were a lesbo. To think I had been mingling with a sinner for the last two years!” As Susan continued to speak Aurora felt her life crumbling in front of her.
“Don’t ever talk to again, ever.” With that, Susan left. Aurora for her part felt tears falling from her cheeks as she saw her retreating back.
“What did I do wrong?” Aurora’s words fled her mouth without her consent. She just wanted to understand.
“Being born.” That is all Susan responded before disappearing behind a corner.
As Aurora saw her first love leave just like that she tried to think, to understand. How could a wonderful feeling like that of love devolve into what she was feeling now? How could it hurt so much? It was all so wrong. Her despair turned into anger.
“If I hadn’t fallen for her we could continue to be friends. Love is stupid, it's a curse.” Thinking that she swore to herself, she would never, ever love again. That was the first ti she had killed a part of herself.
At that mont Tomoka ca back to herself. The wound Susan had left behind had never healed. She had never allowed it to heal. She had simply pushed all those feelings away until she couldn’t feel them any more. Now that she could feel them anew they hurt. Her words hurt as if she had been right in front of her saying them once more.
That was when another mory entered her mind. This one, a far more recent one. It was the first ti she heard the words she had wished to hear back when she confided in Susan.
“I love you.” These three words, spoken by two girls she had known for far longer than she knew Susan for. Nozomi and Hinata, these two girls had sohow reached her broken heart even past her dead emotions. Even though the pain of Susan’s awful words continued to haunt her, Hinata and Nozomi’s words kept soothing the pain away.
“I want to love them.” That is all she could think at the mont. She truly wanted to love them, she wanted to be able to love again. That is why she looked at the corps in front of her full of determination.
“I will love again.” Saying this she stepped forwards and hugged the corpse. As she did it began to regain life. The pale skin regains its color, the hair its luster and the eyes their aning.
“I’m glad.” That’s all the now healed emotion said as it banished into motes of light.
That is when, like a tsunami, all of Tomoka’s repressed feelings ca surging. All the pain, all the love, everything ca crashing onto her, It was too much. Before she lost consciousness again Tomoka glanced at the other corpses. She promised herself that she would co back and fix all the damage she had done to herself.
“For them, all this pain is worth it.” That was all she could murmure before consciousness escaped her.
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