“Aaaaa!” A piercing headache stabbed so painfully that it felt as though it would split my head apart. mories ca rushing but they were blurred and flickering. I bit my lips and stumbled out of the bathroom. I knew that this was a part of the withdrawal symptoms but there was nothing I could do to fix it.
I had tried everything. When Kaichen was cooped up in his room, I had read the book and tried all kinds of experints and mixtures. I had used my own knowledge and tried everything in the dical book. Nothing worked. The symptoms were all so diverse that I couldn’t make a proper cure. Unfortunately, I was running out of ti. It wasn’t the sa as when I was trapped in the ti magic and could start over the next day when sothing went wrong with the dicine I made for Mickey.
There had been plenty of ti, and I observed Mickey as a third party. And… as terrible as it sounded, I had a subject to experint on who would be returned as he was the next day. I couldn’t experint on my own body because I only had one. And it wouldn’t be returned to . What if it made the symptoms worse?
I didn’t know it would be so frustrating to be unable to save myself. I felt guilty for using a small boy to experint on. I was horrible!
“Aargh!” I felt dizzy and couldn’t stand upright. I fell on my knee. Cold sweat dripped from my forehead. I felt as though my pores were on fire. My vision blurred, and all I could see was Mickey’s miserable face and his convulsing body.
It’s just a hallucination, I told myself. It’s just a hallucination. Mickey is not here…. Holding onto that shred of rationality, I tried to recall the contents of the book. Hallucination was one of the symptoms associated with withdrawal from alcohol. Even though I knew all that, horrible mories and visions blurred my sight. I could not bear to see them. I could not stand hearing them scream. All the despair and resentnt.
“—lia!” I shut my eyes. I thought that I heard soone calling .
My whole body ached and itched. I felt as if bugs were gnawing on my skin. My lips were parched and dry. I bit my lips and scratched my skin. The pain didn’t go away. I kept seeing horrible things even with closed eyes. I wanted to gouge my eyes out. I was going to do just that, but I felt soone holding down my hands. I struggled and heard soone calling distantly, amidst all the screams and resentnt ringing in my ears.
“Dalia!” A low voice called.
Dalia… Dalia… that is my na! I flinched as I heard the na from among the screams. I struggled to free myself to scratch my skin to soothe the burn, to tear my skin away. But sothing held down my arms. I could taste blood between my lips. It was so painful. Everything hurt. “Why are you stopping ?” I scread and sobbed. I didn’t know whether I was saying it aloud or my mind was ringing again. “It’s so painful.”
“Dalia. Get a hold of yourself! Open your eyes.”
Open my eyes? “I would see the horrible things again,” I scread. I didn’t know if I was screaming in reality or only in my head. “I don’t want to see. I want to gouge my eyes out. Please.”
“Stop it. Calm down, Dalia.”
I don’t know who I was begging with, but I cried and begged. It must be in my mind. “I don’t want to die. Please,” I cried. “Please don’t let die.”
“I’ll help you,” said the voice, “So, stop it now.” A warm, calm energy filled my heart.
I could feel my skin being soothed. The itching subsided. The headache disappeared. My eyes didn’t throb anymore. I felt that this was all unlikely. Is this another hallucination? But the screams in my mind had stopped. The voices, the despair, the visions, everything stopped.
“Open your eyes, Dalia. It’s okay now.” The low voice sounded exhausted. It brought back to my senses. My mind slowly cleared and all I could think was, Ah, this is crazy!
I should have expected this. Dalia’s alcoholism was very severe. I knew that the withdrawal symptoms would get worse. Hallucinations, impulsive behavior, irrational thinking were all symptoms that were normal in this case. I was not prepared for the horrible visions. The mories of experiencing those horrible things were sothing no one should be subjected to.
Alcoholism was more horrible than I expected. I had thought of asking Kaichen for help, but I didn’t have the courage to intrude upon him. I had tried to make the cure myself. I had avoided asking him. I opened my eyes slowly. Kaichen’s face ca into view. He was holding down, maybe thinking I would try to gouge out my eyes again.
“Teacher…,” I mumbled. Kaichen’s eyebrows twitched in annoyance but he didn’t tell off like he usually did.
“I tried… I couldn’t make the cure. Can… you help?” I winced. “If you could… I would be grateful.” I tried to smile but only winced because of the pain in my mouth. I stamred but the words wouldn’t co out properly. Eventually, I let out a dry laugh and winced again.
“You fool!” Kaichen reached out a hand and placed it on my forehead. The world turned black. But it was a soft darkness that enveloped all in a warm tranquility. There were no hallucinations, no screams. I felt safe and relaxed for the first ti and drifted off to sleep.
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