Dad was a person with no limits or logic when it ca to matters related to our family.
It was difficult to predict his actions with my common sense.
Asking him if he went too far would be pointless.
Dad might even retort, asking what the problem is when I had already got lifelong scars. A few casualties in lifelong revenge wouldn’t be a big deal.
‘I’m too scared to ask because he might actually say that.’
I had no choice but to believe that my dad, who knew
well, would take care of this anxiety on his own.
I must trust him.
Trust him and not worry about it…
Every ti I felt uneasy, I recited
as if it were a magic spell that dispelled all worries.
It would have been better if I hadn’t shown any signs of discomfort at all.
It seed that discomfort was not a feeling that could be hidden.
“Miss, are you very tired?”
Leanne whispered softly.
Even when I shook my head, it didn’t seem like anyone believed .
It was partly because I was still inexperienced, but also because everyone around
was paying attention to my every glance and gesture.
On the day the preliminary sketch of the portrait was completed.
Not only the painter but also the maids were all focused on . In such an environnt, it was impossible to hide my fluctuating emotions.
At least the sweltering sumr weather provided an excuse.
As soon as everything was over, the people around
hurried to help
change my clothes, and I tried hard to compose my expression.
“Miss, I’ve prepared sothing cold in the next room. Please rest for a while…”
“Claire!”
A lively call cut off Edna’s whisper.
The maids greeted the unexpected visitor with smiles and made way for her to co to .
Not much ti had passed before Eciel really ca to check on my .
“You didn’t lose the paper, right? Show !”
“It’s with Leanne right now.”
Luckily, I had kept it, thinking she might actually co to check. If I hadn’t brought it, she might have been angry.
Eciel imdiately held out her hand to Rianne. Her eyes lit up with anticipation as she looked over the paper.
“Monastery? Priests?”
She read aloud and then looked at
with a completely confused face.
For the first ti that day, I smiled at her innocent face.
As ti passed, the days grew hotter, and the portrait was getting closer to completion.
Filling in the missing parts and emphasizing what needed to be highlighted.
Since human endeavors could never be perfect, the painter ticulously touched up and spent a long ti filling in the gaps.
It seed like the ti had co for
to do the sa.
Monts in Eciel’s mory that had naturally faded. But to , they were still vivid with their colors, shadows, and outlines from that ti.
What kind of reaction would Eciel have when she learned about those worn-out tis?
“It’s a bit of a long story. Is that okay?”
Eciel nodded as if it were only natural. We held hands and moved to the adjacent room.
There, cold
tea and sweet, chilled snacks awaited us. Forks, knives, and individual plates were set at the table.
“Eciel, sit over there.”
But instead of sitting across from , my younger sister sat next to . As a bonus, she imdiately pressed a cold teacup against my cheek.
“… why?”
“Your face is still a bit red. It’s hot, isn’t it?”
I couldn’t help but smile again.
When we ca into the room, she was pestering
to hurry up and tell him why I liked it…
But seeing my slightly flushed face, she seed to forget all her curiosity.
“Among the thousand things Countess Locard said not to do, this isn’t included yet?”
It was ant to be a joke, but Eciel’s face suddenly hardened.
“It’s not on the list yet. As long as no one tells her, it never will be.”
Then she glanced around the room nervously. She looked cautious.
I had heard that Eciel’s maids occasionally reported her
behavior to Countess Locard…
I waved my hand behind her back to dismiss everyone. Eciel opened her mouth in surprise and then complained in a grumbling tone.
“When I ask to be left alone, they don’t leave right away like this!”
“Nine-year-olds generally shouldn’t be left alone, Eciel. Now more than ever, we shouldn’t be alone.”
I consoled her calmly.
I covered her hand holding the teacup with mine and gently placed it back on the table. Her hand was cool from holding the cold cup for too long.
I cradled her small hand, with its soft palm and tiny nails, in my hands. Like gently cupping a delicate flower petal.
Then I whispered softly.
“If an accident happens, my judgnt and power would be enough to protect us both for a while, so they stepped out. They won’t leave us alone for long.”
“An accident?”
“Sothing like breaking a teacup by mistake and getting hurt. I can stop it with the wind, right?”
Or an assassination or kidnapping attempt, for instance.
Of course, such things wouldn’t dare to happen inside Duke Chelsiers’s estate.
Without
explicitly ntioning these hidden dangers, Eciel’s sulky expression gradually softened.
The reason was convincing enough for her to understand.
Suddenly, Eciel exclaid.
“Ah! The monastery! Quickly, tell
why you like it!”
She grabbed my hand and shook it eagerly, so I explained obediently.
“We couldn’t be left alone at nine years old. How do you think it was when we were just born? We needed soone to take care of us, right?”
“Yeah. But we had Mom.”
“But it would have been hard for Mom to take care of us all by herself. She was alone, and we were two, plus she had a lot to do.”
Eciel tilted his head, pondering.
“Then?”
“We had help from others. We grew up in a monastery, Eciel. For about 30 months after we were born.”
I continued speaking, neither too slowly nor too quickly.
Throughout my explanation, Eciel listened attentively, gradually smiling. By the end, she was looking at
with wide eyes.
It wasn’t because the storyteller was particularly skilled.
Even though my mory of those tis was clear and intact, my tone remained calm and quiet.
It was just that Eciel knew
well enough to empathize with the underlying emotions in my otherwise dry words.
“I don’t know when you started to rember… but after leaving the monastery, we moved around a lot. We t Dad very far from that monastery.”
A mont of silence. Then Eciel suddenly asked.
“Claire, do you also not know where it is?”
“I don’t know, but Mom does. Dad said he’d find it for us.”
“That’s a relief.”
Our hands were still firmly clasped together. Though no one else was listening, Eciel whispered softly.
“It’s a relief that you and Mom rember them.”
Saying so, she closed her eyes and prayed reverently. Her lips moved silently.
May God bless them.
May He grant us the courage to face the unknown, the patience to endure hardships, and unwavering faith.
As He delivered us from evil.
It was the most widely quoted prayer. Although I rarely heard it from our mother’s lips.
‘Considering that, Eciel is quite devout.’
Perhaps the traces of the monastery remained in Eciel not as mories but as faith.
With that thought, I looked up at the sky outside the window. The sumr sky was just a clear, unbroken blue.
May her prayer reach that high without any hindrance.
Astariol was said to be a fragnt of God.
If I supported Eciel’s prayer with mine, it might reach the end of the sky, to the place where God was shattered.
I quietly murmured, adding to his prayer.
“May God bless them.”
The jagged, rocky edges of my heart slowly filled up and smoothed out.
During that ti, Eciel finished her prayer and looked around.
“Claire, do you have a pen?”
What for?
I blinked and shook my head. Eciel’s face showed a hint of disappointnt.
“I wanted to give you a circle.”
“Where?”
“On number 8 that you wrote. To show you did well.”
… why?
“You told
to
write seven. I haven’t finished yet, so why?”
“A reward for Claire who worked hard!”
Despite her confident voice, I really didn’t understand at all.
“Why is a circle a reward? How do you know I worked hard just because I wrote one?”
Eciel looked bewildered. Her expression clearly showed her inner thought, ‘Why doesn’t she understand this?’
My face probably looked quite similar.
“… doesn’t getting a circle make you happy?”
Wasn’t it just a symbol indicating a correct answer?
I honestly couldn’t understand it at all.
But knowing how to handle Eciel, I simply nodded.
‘Alright. If you say so, then it must be true…’
It was the best way I had learned to avoid argunts with Eciel. Accepting whatever she said made everything easier.
Today, this thod worked again.
Eciel smiled brightly, handed the paper back, and spoke with hope in her voice.
“Since you quickly found sothing you like, you’ll be able to
write other things you like soon.”
Hmm…
“… that might be difficult.”
“Why?”
Eciel stared at
intently. Her clear green eyes were like sumr sunlight, piercing and warm.
I glanced away briefly, then t her gaze again.
“We lived in the monastery for over two years. That’s quite a long ti, right?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ve been reading books since I learned to read.”
“Yeah. So?”
“Almost everything I really like; I’ve known for a long ti. Even with exceptions, most things I’ve known for a very long ti. If you think about it, I didn’t not know Fermata either.”
Looking into her sun-like eyes, I declared.
“It takes
a long ti to truly feel that I like sothing. So, it might take a long ti to find and
write down new things I like.”
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