Chapter 726: Tell
How (Ch.727)
A lancholic atmosphere had settled over them as they stood by the banks of the Black Sea, having just witnessed Rhall’s defeat, his dragon form lost to the depths of the Black Sea.
It was expected, anticipated. Rhall’s injuries were too grave for him to survive another battle, yet there was an unavoidable weight of sorrow that clung to them like a second skin,
Neveah felt it more deeply than she could have anticipated to feel for a dragon lord who lived and died many centuries before she was even conceived, and Neveah could not begin to imagine just how much more Jian felt it, just how heavier the weight of this reality would be for him.
"I’m here, will you talk to ? Share with
this burden at least, say sothing, Jian... anything..." Neveah pleaded, the silence was suffocating, it tore at her heart and she desperately needed to hear sothing from Jian, if only a word.
A heavy, shuddering breath was the response Neveah received. Neveah nodded slowly in understanding, Jian was not confident to form words at this mont, biting back the tears that gathered in her eyes, she leaned against Jian’s arm.
"Silence will do too... just... breathe..." Neveah whispered quietly.
It took another long mont of quiet, but Jian finally spoke.
"Rhall..." Jian began, his tone barely above a whisper. "I was too young to have known him well, but what I did know of him was his fierce loyalty. He idolized my father and in return, my father considered him as dear as his own son."
"When news of his death reached ho, my father was devastated. He vowed vengeance on the dark empire...for Rhall, for the rest of our kin lost to this realm... for Asrig, and the terrors he had to face." Jian paused, as though the words were too heavy to continue.
His eyes were still fixed on the vast black sea stretching on for miles and Neveah watched him in silence, their hands still intertwined.
Neveah’s hand had grown numb by now, Jian’s grip alternated between a tight clenching and then relaxing, this change was the only sign of his troubled emotions and Neveah barely registered the discomfort.
It took another short silence before Jian found his words again.
"All these centuries... I was never certain. To the entire realm, he was a curse that should never have happened. An evil that deserved its end but I... I was never truly certain." Jian’s tone betrayed his doubts and dismay.
"Was he truly evil? Or had he just lost his way in the unending chaos that is our long...long life." Jian quizzed. "Was the man in my mories of childhood truly all a lie? Or did we deny him the chance to be understood?"
"My father, Agardan...his death had been so sudden, no one could have anticipated or prepared for it. He died when the realm still recovered from the aftermath of the uprising and he left a great... great void to fill." Jian’s voice cracked slightly, almost too subtle to notice but Neveah did notice.
Neveah rubbed her thumb over the back of Jian’s hand, providing silent reassurance.
"Agardan the vanquisher, a conqueror from his youth. A man who had built a supre empire out of cuffs, chains and an enslaved species...a god of my kind. Could it have been that he just did not know... how to fill such a great void?..."
"How or where he fit into the large, vague picture my father had painted? When the universe denied him of the first inheritance from father to son...denied him the golden scale..." Jian trailed off.
"I was never... certain. All these centuries, they told
I did the right thing. I was hailed, praised and honored for my valor. They said I freed my people from tyranny..."
"But I could never determine what was right and what was wrong. ’Dragon killer’... I am one too, I killed my own brother...with these hands. I seized his throne, executed his King’s guard, nad myself King...who was wrong and who was right? Was he the sinner or sowhere deep within, did I always covet his birthright? Just like he always feared..." Jian’s voice was hoarse now.
"Jian..." Neveah whispered, silent tears streaming down her cheeks.
This was a side to Jian she had never seen, a side she knew would only ever show in a mont of extre despair and heartache.
"How could I have been so blind? How could I not see, beloved? Why have I lived with this needless guilt... this pain...why have I lived like a sinner?" Jian turned to Neveah, his eyes searched hers, seeking answers she did not hold.
"You loved him... you truly and selflessly loved him..." Neveah murmured quietly, lifting a hand to Jian’s cheek. "And that...is no sin."
Her thumb caught the tear just as it slipped out of Jian’s eyes, his mismatched orbs now matching pools of despair.
"He...is a monster...a curse..." Jian said in a pained tone.
"But first, he was your brother." Neveah replied.
"He deserved a death far worse than what I gave him. I have failed my kin...in my weakness." Jian said again.
"You did the best you could with what knowledge you had at your disposal. You cannot take responsibility for the sins he committed that you were unaware of... neither is it your responsibility to punish it. You are the Dragon King, Jian. But you are no god." Neveah replied firmly,
"Jian, you have been punished enough. It is okay now...to let go of him. Bury the past, right here and look back at it no more." Neveah implored.
"Tell ...do I deserve a chance at happiness? Can I still dare...seek it?" Jian whispered, doubtful.
"You deserve... everything." Neveah enunciated each word with everything she had in her. "But you have to want it..."
"I do want it..." Jian leaned his forehead against Neveah’s, his eyes going closed. "And I want you...Scales! I desperately need you..."
"So tell ... how to co back ho to you..."
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