Chapter 494: Tell Him (Ch.495)
Neveah’s eyes widened slightly at Xenon’s words, particularly at his tone.
That tone... that slow drawl, that animalistic undertone, how could Neveah not recognize it? How could she not recognize the darkness that had been Xenon’s reality when she had first co to know him?
How could she not recognize the manifestation of Xenon’s wild haze when she had gotten a taste of it for herself? Witnessed the very peak of his madness?
"Xe...xenon...you...how..." Neveah began, she was not sure what exactly she wanted to ask.
And even if she did have the right words to form her question, would Xenon even be able to provide her an answer?
It was now Neveah picked up on signs she should already have noticed the mont she set eyes on Xenon.
His claws were on full display, glinting and sharp, they had ripped their way out of his gloves.
His head twitched ever so often, and there was a tremor going through his entire form, it was subtle, but it was there.
All these were the signs of Xenon’s silent struggle for control and Neveah’s heart ached at the sight.
"I... I cannot hold it f... for much longer... I do not want to...hurt you...leave... leave now..." Xenon whispered to Neveah, his words coming out with great difficulty.
Neveah could not understand what was happening, right before her eyes, Xenon’s wild haze was taking a hold of him again and she could not understand why or how this was happening at this exact mont.
"Xenon, what can I do... just tell , I can’t...." Neveah began to say, reaching for Xenon.
Neveah’s heart dropped when Xenon flinched away from her, recoiling like a touch of hers would completely shatter his control.
"Leave..." Was all the response Xenon gave.
Neveah lowered her head, her mind reeling with a thousand thoughts as she tried to think of a solution, but she did not even get the chance to.
"Leave!" Xenon snarled again, this ti his words were fierce and threatening, startling Neveah.
Neveah jumped away from Xenon in shock, staring at him in a mix of dismay and disbelief.
"Okay... okay, if that is what you want." Neveah said quietly.
It was no use trying to be of help to Xenon when he did not want her around him at this mont.
Neveah understood Xenon’s thoughts, the last ti he had lost control in her presence, he had almost hurt her and he could not trust himself not to do the sa again.
But understanding it did not make it any less hurtful.
Neveah walked away quietly, heading back the way she had co but she had only gotten a few steps away when the voice of her wolf stopped her.
’So we are just leaving like this? Again?" Neveah’s wolf thought to her.
’He wants
to leave, what can I do?’ Neveah thought back.
’And what about us? What about what we want? Is it always going to be this way? We leave as soon as his says it and then be there for him when he wants it?’ Neveah’s wolf asked in disbelief.
’We wolves crave a stable and certain bond. I will not play this ga, Veah... and neither will you. Tell him that!’ Neveah’s wolf insisted.
Neveah’s heart was tightly constricted within her and it would not ease up, this ti, Neveah had to say what was on her mind.
"Xenon...If I leave like this again...we will never be able to get past this...get past how far apart this side of you... this darkness, puts us..."
"If I leave like this... I will truly let you go." Neveah murmured without turning back.
Neveah sucked in a deep breath, leaning her head back as tears of frustration and helplessness sprung to her eyes.
"Xenon... I... the last thing I desire for myself at the mont is to put my heart out on the chopping block again...once with you, and a second ti with narx..."
"My heart has had more than enough... I have had more than enough." Neveah whispered.
"You will not understand how..." Neveah’s voice cracked slightly.
"How difficult all of this is for ...it is so hard on
that I feel like I am losing my mind...but even then, I still could not... cannot let you go..." Neveah admitted.
"So why do you get to send
away?! Why do you get to lose your mind and push
away and I cannot do the sa?!"
"Why should I leave just because you want
to?! And then let you walk back into my life when you feel it is right?!" Neveah was losing her cool now and she did not hold back.
Her hands trembled as rage and frustration surged through her veins.
"If she...if that woman could make you lose it! Am I not good enough to hold you together?! Can I not be the reason you conquer your haze?!"
"You told
you did everything to return to ! You told
you fought the darkness for ! For ! So what is this?!"
"I should be the one you need the most! Especially now, so why are you pushing
away?! Why do I have to leave?!" Neveah’s voice was cut off as she broke into a sob.
Another sob escaped Neveah when a familiar pair of arms encircled her waist,
She was encased in Xenon’s familiar warmth as he hugged her tightly from behind, his scent completely overwhelming Neveah’s senses.
With Xenon so close, Neveah could feel the tremors running through him, she could hear the rapid beating of his heart and Neveah realized in this mont that Xenon...he was scared.
Not just scared, Xenon was terrified... terrified of his own darkness.
Fear was not an emotion Neveah could have ever conceived Xenon could feel, but here he was, practically trembling... because he could burn the world if he chose to, but to this darkness...Xenon was also helpless.
"Do... do not leave ...do not leave , Veah. Stay...help ... save ..." Xenon pleaded, his voice barely above a whisper.
Neveah’s eyes went closed, her heart trembling just as much as Xenon was.
Slowly, she turned around in Xenon’s arms, her hands going up to rest on the sides of his face.
Neveah stared up into his eyes, those enchanting black orbs were dilated, yet the terror reflected in Xenon’s eyes could not be missed.
"I...ne... never... wanted you...to see ... like this... again." Xenon drawled out with difficulty.
Neveah’s heart ached even more, knowing as much as Xenon feared to lose himself again, he was equally terrified of what she would think of him... the true him.
"Xenon...my beautiful black scaled...there is not a part of you that I could hate, not one..." Neveah swore earnestly.
With her gaze still fixed on Xenon, Neveah leaned up, her lips finding Xenon’s in a passionate kiss.
Reviews
All reviews (0)