After dinner I looked at Lucia who still hadnt changed into her skirt and asked: Do you want to go out and play at noon today?
Lucia took a mont before shaking her head and replying: No, your highness. I wont go out today. I need to do so extra training to ensure that I can perform well at the deer hunting festival.
But. But I already have these things.
I held up the cloth bag in my hand. Lucia looked at it, then forced a smile and said: Even so, I feel more and more uneasy. Your highness, please allow to do so training. That way Ill feel a bit more at ease.
Alright.
I smiled and watched as Lucia walked out. It appears that Lucia was like . We may not have had a single chance at victory at the start, however, we seem to get tunnel-visioned, and confidently give it our all. We now have sothing thatll get a white deer king to co to , yet we also feel tense like were headed to the guillotine.
Mom wasnt wrong. I did indeed want to participate for the sake of marrying Lucia, therefore my goal was to win the deer hunting festival, not to participate for the experience. Since I have no skills, I require these things to win. Otherwise, not only will I cause Lucia to suffer with , but Ill also betray our future. This isnt a death-ga. Nobody will die if I win. Its just a one-ti event. The dreams of others are basically just delayed as long as I dont participate in the future.
One year is insignificant to an elf.
But why? Why do I still feel uneasy when I dont an to cheat? I wont bring harm to anybody, nor will anybody lose anything as a result of it, but it still bugs . It makes feel bad. It feels like Im wronging soone when in reality, I dont owe anybody anything.
I left the palace on my own. I wasnt interested in Lucias training. I just wanted to take a stroll alone to calm myself down.
I took my ti strolling down the streets. Not many people noticed this ti. I was deep in thought and didnt pay attention to my surroundings. I just allowed my feet to take wherever. When I noticed that the road under my feet had changed, I discovered that Id arrived at the front of ras workshop.
I stood in place at the front of the workshop. I had my hand placed on the door-ring, but I wasnt sure whether I should enter or not. I dont have any business today and shouldnt have co here either. Am I supposed to just knock on the door and say to ra: My, Miss ra, could we please go a r-(round) I an, have a chat to brighten up my mood? I think ra whos extrely busy will just get angry and close the door on . I honestly want to have a talk with soone, but ra is the only one who I can speak with here.
Should I invite ra for so tea?
Ah, your highness. I have been waiting for you. What are you doing standing at the front door?
The door got pulled open just as I was having an internal conflict with myself. ras voice appeared before . I raised my head and looked at ra awkwardly. I had forgotten that ras sense of sll is much superior to ours. She probably already noticed my presence when I got to the door. I was still hesitant.
Ah, yeah, but I dont have any business. I just wanted to have a chat.
I smiled weakly and continued rather despairingly: Alright, Im know Im pitiful and dont even have sobody to talk to. Do what you have to, I wont bother you.
ra quickly pulled my wrist, smiled and said to : Wait, your highness. I did not say I was busy right now. Your timing is quite good as I usually go for so tea around this ti. It would be an honour to share so tea with you, your highness.
I turned around to look at her behind her black face veil, smiled and then said: Thats great then. Itll be on this ti.
I could not be happier.
She smiled and then affectionately wrapped her arm around mine. I shivered all over. I wanted to break free but then realised that wrapping your arm around another here doesnt an much to the elves, so I didnt push her away. ra appeared to look much better today. It looks like she got so good rest yesterday. We didnt say anything to each other. We just silently walked together to the teahouse, sat down, and ordered the sa tea as yesterday.
Your highness, if you need soone to talk to, just co right to . After we took a sip of our respective teas, ra started the conversation. She smiled and said: I understand the pain of not having anyone to talk to because I too am an outlier in my tribe. Sotis when I want to talk to soone, I too cannot find soone. You must be the sa as a half-blooded prince.
I smiled bitterly, took a sip and said: Its not a problem of lineage for , but rather because the queen is too strict with . I only have Lucia by my side. The female maids dont dare speak to . I asked them why and they told it was because the queen forbids them from approaching . There are also few people who co into the palace so I virtually dont have any friends. Youre my only friend, Miss ra.
ra wryly curled her lips and then said: I am honoured to be your friend, your highness. Since we are friends, I will help you relieve so of your stress. Please share with your frustrations, your highness.
I sighed and then told ra about it. I trust ra because she sincerely worships mom and is sincerely thankful to her. Thats the reason I trust that she wont tell others. Further, ra is very conscious of avoiding attracting attention to herself so I doubt shed do sothing that would.
I see, I understand.
I picked up my cup of tea and took a small sip because my throat was feeling uncomfortable after all that talking. ra picked up the pot of tea, poured so hot-tea, and then looked at with a smile and said: First, please allow to comnd you on your fairness and kindness. I do not have any wine here, so I shall use tea as a substitute. I shall pay respect to your will to uphold justice, kindness and conscience.
I looked at ra, raised my cup of tea and then finished it in one go. I then smiled helplessly and said; Please dont say that. I think that everybody would be the sa.
If everybody treated virtue with importance, then this world would be a utopia. However, your majesty, not everybody views equality, benevolence and integrity with importance. I am very happy to know that my king possesses such virtue.
She smiled as she looked at , sighed and then said: You are feeling conflicted right now because you feel that it is unfair. But it is actually fair since the power you possess is the queens power. And hence, you are displaying your strength the sa way others do. Its just that your strength is sobody elses strength.
I think thats incorrect.
Why is it incorrect? Because it is not your strength? Is it the king that wins the war in every war? The king relies on his soldiers and generals to win the war. It is not shaless to rely on the strength of others as you sotis need to rely on the strength of others to accomplish things. The only thing is that your current strength is the queens strength and not your own.
Mine? The queens?
That is correct. Let us look at it like this. If you were the one who personally ordered soone to concoct the potion, you who discovered a cheat-thod, and you who planned the contest, then you would not feel the sense of guilt of benefitting without having done anything you are feeling right now.
ra callously clasped her hands and continued: A king does not necessarily need to possess his own strength. The problem right now, your highness, is that you do not have strength.
I smiled helplessly. ra wasnt wrong. I dont think Id feel guilty like this if I wanted to cheat. The sense of guilt Im now feeling is due to having to cheat when I dont want to, and because I cant object to the plan mom gave . If it were a plan I ca up with, Id probably be elated right now.
If I ca up with it, then it proves that I wanted to cheat.
The problem right now is that I dont want to cheat, yet I have no other option. And if I wanted to cheat, I have no ans of cheating.
And the reason for that is because I lack the so-called strength. I understood the aning of power, but I didnt possess the weapon that would allow to exercise my power. With the humans, I needed the Valkyries. Here, I need mom.
But, I dont think I need to, do I?
No, you do need to. If youwant to save sothing, then you would understand that you cannot rely on anybody. You can only rely on your sword, orthose whom are loyal to you. I believe that the latter is more appropriate for a king.
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