I silently lied on ras bed with my hands on my chest. I was as calm as if I was dead. The bed felt brand new. There was no warmth and no lingering scent. They mustve changed her belongings more than once; it was no longer the place ra lived a long ti ago. The house was, well, still a house, but ra was no longer there. She hadnt been there in a long ti.
The scent on the bed was the scent of the solution elves used for washing. It was a unique scent of lush grass but definitely not the fragrance on ra. ra had the scent of flowers on her, not this sort of overwhelming scent. ra was a distant mory for . It was so long ago that the from then, and the at present were two complete different people.
I silently looked at the roof. There was no emotion in my voice. It was as though I was conversing with myself: ra, I honestly thought I was different to you back then, since you said you were a dark elf and so did Lucia. I thought dark elves and the other elves werent different, but I now understand how much you suffered as a dark elf. In the past, I was just making predictions, but I really understand now, because Im actually a dark elf, too. I never thought that we were of the sa kind. I was just a more fortunate dark elf. Were the sa, ra. Were the sa kind. If I wasnt so fortunate, we mightve been together.
I gently placed my hand to one side, seemingly hoping that my hand could rest atop ras, but it was just an empty spot next to . The bed was just an ordinary single bed. ra never had a lover or romantic interest. She lived alone until her final day.
I was very lucky. Thanks to my Galadriel heritage, I didnt have to suffer what other dark elves had to go through. With that said, I wasnt different to ra in any capacity. ra and I shared the sa nature. I had to resist my urge to suck blood. I wanted to be an ordinary elf, but it was impossible.
I didnt want to beco a blood-sucking dark elf. ra desperately tried to be the sa as ordinary elves, but she couldnt physiologically alter herself, while I was an ordinary elf who awoke to his desires as a dark elf. It took all my willpower to resist my craving for blood, which was so excruciating I wanted to die. What about ra, then? ra didnt put up with it for one day or a few days but years. Her entire life.
How much pain was ra in? A lot for sure. I eventually experienced bearing with the pain that could drown you in despair. She showed a smile for that small wish of hers in spite of the loneliness and pain. It was awful to imagine how much she put up with.
ra was much stronger than I am. She bore with so much for her life and because of what Queen Vyvyan said, while I could also die for my dignity and kindness. Did that even us out?
ra, you truly were so strong to be able to bear with this pain. Im the sa kind as you, yet I stabbed you with a sword. My ra, if we had made a different decision and if I knew we were the sa kind, I dont think I wouldve killed you.
I smiled helplessly, and then slowly sat up. I looked the sunset shining in from outside.
I still vividly rembered the ti I first visited ras place after her death. When I ca visited back then, her gentle scent and warmth still lingered. Her pen and notebook were also still on the table. ras ink didnt dry up yet, either. She seed to have just left back then. Back then, the sunset was the sa as it was this visit. Nothing had changed. Alas, the beauty had left. She left with an empty mory and the pain of despair.
I pondered, ra was the first person I killed. After I killed her, I began to kill countless other people, one after the other, and then more. ra wanted to beco an outstanding King, but have I really succeeded in doing so? I tried my entire life. Did I end up fulfilling ras wish? Was I able to beco the King that she hoped for?
ra, I dont know. I dont want to disappoint you. You exchanged your blood for everything that ca after. I made a lot of turns after you left and made my fair share of mistakes. You wanted to beco an outstanding King, but did I succeed? ra, we might be able to et soon. Will you be disappointed when we et? I conversed with myself, eyes on the ceiling.
I continued floating in my thoughts: Will ra be consoled? She used her blood to allow to beco an outstanding king. I always tried. I changed in the midst of my quest and I made a lot of mistakes on the way. I killed lots of innocent people, because of Lunas misfortune. Have I let ra down?
I almost forgot about ras wish she imparted with . Then, I was filled with guilt toward Luna. I almost forgot the last words ra whispered in my ear. Perhaps the blood I was drenched in overpowered ras warm blood and scent. I exuded a bloody aura; therefore, ra shouldve lost her scent of blood long ago. Actually, maybe blood didnt excite anymore.
When was it that I began to beco indifferent to bloodshed? I wondered.
I stood up and stamped my feet. I slowly turned around to pick up my cape.
I wondered, if I didnt kill ra back then and begged to keep her instead, what wouldve happened? Would ra be with ? That was all hypothetical. My life wasnt a ga; I couldnt return to the past to change it.
What transpired already transpired, and I didnt have any ans of changing it. I couldnt imagine what wouldve happened if everything didnt happen. If I didnt kill ra back then, Lucia would probably be enraged. My relationship with Lucia mightve broken down for all I know. Despite whatever one might say, Nier and Ling Yue never hard , but ra almost killed and Lucia. If I kept sobody who was such a potential hazard with , Lucia wouldve eventually challenged her to a duel and killed her. Moreover, would ra be able to accept my suggestion? I would never find out. It was pointless to think about, since ra was no longer alive. Her last traces in her house had been erased.
I left the house. Gazing at the flowers that were still fresh, I uttered, ra, we will likely et again.
The flowers were still blooming, but it wasnt the sa young girl taking care of them anymore. She was past tense. All that was left were the houses and , who was about to leave, standing there.
I questioned, Will anybody still rember ra and Luna after I depart? Will sobody, who cos across Lunas tombstone, find themselves puzzled and destroy the tombstone I, personally, made and destroy Lunas flower, too? Will there be a day where they tear down the hos here to make the elven imperial capital tidier? Theres nobody living here any longer, after all. All the other houses, besides ras, are also in poor condition now. Will the two be forgotten, then?
Their stories were written with in their life. Their story was my story. Thus, they were essentially . My ra and my Luna were stories that only I had the privilege of enjoying.
I walked over to my horse and mounted it. I spent long enough in Duargana for long enough. We trotted to the city doors. I went along the street Lucia and I had fun on. The sky and this sunset were the sa as were in the past. I took all of it in from atop my horse. I looked at the details of what I rembered and what I had forgotten, bringing everything back into the surface of my mind.
That was everything I had gone through. That was what I once loved. I wanted to see it all one more ti before I died. I want to see it all one last ti
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Elizabeth looked at the forest ahead of her. The horse she sat on snorted. She was there once again. She ran away to the forest when she was young. She ran into the elven forests, got to know Vyvyan and the man she loved. She still viewed those days as the most beautiful days of her past. She never wanted to forget those beautiful days. She rembered the days of walking barefoot on the leaves; she rembered the sweet lake water and the fragrant fruits. However, she also rembered the blissful feeling of holding her son for the first ti.
Elizabeth still rembered his soft face. She rembered his warm body and innocent smile. She could also feel the pain of separation, the pain that could virtually tear her heart open. That morable painful sensation hit her again as she rode atop her horse.
Elizabeth ran away once before. She hated her powerlessness thereafter. Her regret was because of herself. Her regret was a product of her weakness and powerlessness. When she t her son again, when he called her, Mom, again, she resolved to never let go again. She was not going to let her son leave her under any condition except her own death. She still harboured that resolute desire.
Elizabeth had to enter the elven forest, the place she once left her child. This ti, if she couldnt bring him back, then she had resolved to never co back out!
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