Son You ra
I dont know how I found my way out of the dungeon, but I knew my body was covered in blood. I was covered in ras blood. I dont know how long I held ras corpse in my arms and wept. I then got staggered to my feet and exited.
Mom pulled who was like a zombie over and looked at . She then pulled tightly into her embrace. She choked on her tears as she stroked my head. She didnt care about being stained with blood. She just hugged tightly as though she was trying to comfort , and like she wanted to protect . She stroked my head and choked as she said: Its alright. Its alrightson Dont be scared Dont be scared Mommy will protect you in the future Mommy wont let you leave mommy again This sort of stuff wont happen again It wont Mommy will definitely protect you. Promise So dont look so despaired Mommy Mommy will provide you with a safe and peaceful environnt.
I hugged mom tightly and breathed in her body fragrance to intoxicate myself. Large teardrops fell from my eyes onto moms body. My body shook as I hugged mom and wept. I dont know why I was scared or why I was crying. Maybe it was due to the terror of killing for the first ti, perhaps because I was sympathising for ra.
But I definitely didnt regret it.
Mom cupped my face, looked into my eyes and anxiously asked: Son, tell , are you happy right now? Do you feel the joy of revenge?
She was looking in my eyesas though she was searching for the worlds most valuable treasure. I lifted my chin up, looked at mom and shook my head. I wiped my tears and said: No Im suffering Its a bitter pill to swallow Im truly very hurt ButI dont regret it.
Mom looked into my eyes. My eyes were indeed filled with pain and hatred. She tightened her grip on my face and I noticed that her entire body was overco with despair. She dropped to her knees helplessly. She knelt on the ground as she sobbed and said: I shouldnt I shouldnt I shouldnt have let my son trial ra. I shouldnt ra succeeded ra succeeded in the end My son My son
Mom suddenly pulled into her tight embrace and cried aloud. I had no idea what the matter with was. Why did mom say sothing like that? I could feel that mom was in despair like . My belief that kindness could change the world got destroyed, while the naive and kind world mom created for had crumbled.
Perhaps that was why mom was in despair. She had tried so hard for so long and yet I couldnt maintain my kindness and naivety in the end. I picked up the sword in the end.
However, I wasnt happy because I killed ra. I found no joy in vengeance. My body that was soaked with ras blood irked . It felt like her blood wouldnt co off regardless how many tis I washed myself.
Mom
Whats wrong son?
I hugged mom tightly and while in her embrace, quietly said: I want to wash myself
Alright Alright Mommy will help you wash the blood off.
Mom wiped her tears and took in a deep breath. She then wore a worn out smile and grabbed hold of my hand.
After mom carried into the water, I sat in her lap again and leaned against her breasts while her hands glided around on my body. I always felt like my morals and heart were killing when I washed with mom, but this ti, I wasnt concerned with moms body. I was so sad I didnt feel anything. I just silently floated in my thoughts.
I didnt know what to think about. My brain was a ss. I usually felt that it felt better to wash in hot water, but I cant feel the water here in the elf nation. My body which lost all sense of touch reminded of the ti I spent with ra in the stone cave and her words weighed on .
I wasnt regretting it. It was more like distress. While killing ra was my decision, I was genuinely sad about ras passing. My only friend died by my hands just like that. She couldnt protect her tribesn she desperately tried to protect. And her salvation was death at my hands.
What did ra do in the end? Why did I let ra fall into despair? No It wasnt my fault, but I was still powerless to protect her, was I not? Castell wouldnt let anybody threaten him, and nobody would try to bribe Lucia. My friends on the other hand, could all beco a risk. So does that an that I dont have what it takes to protect them? If thats the case, then everyone I consider to be a friend could be a threat.
Your highness If if you werent a prince perhaps perhaps our ending couldve been better
I
Son, mommy knows what youre thinking.
Mom suddenly hugged tightly from behind. Mom placed her head next to my face and gently rubbed it against my face. She then quietly said: Mommy knows what youre thinking. Mommy knows that youre a gentle boy too The matter with ra was not your fault. Its not always your fault that bad things happen. Son, mommy noticed that your gaze lost its naivety and kindness. Mommy is heartbroken, you know? Son, you were the root of the violent war ten years ago You carry far too many debts of blood. Mommy doesnt want you to live through such tis, so mommy didnt teach you anything, not swordsmanship, not archery, not warfare strategies. Mommy just wanted for you to be able to live a simple life Mommy didnt want you to get caught in turbulence and conspiracies. Mommy will be satisfied as long as you can live kindly and happily play.
Mom bit my ear and endearingly kissed my head. She then sad in a lancholic tone: However, mommy failed. The world mommy tried to maintain for you got shattered. You were still targeted in the end. Both mommy and that woman know that if an assassination were to take place, it ant that sobody was trying to instigate another war between elves and humans once again. While we are aware of that, we will still fight because youre mommys one and only source of hope. Without you, it would be the sa as dying. I might as well let off so steam before I die.
Mommy wants to let you live a simple life. In fact, mommy doesnt want you to be a prince. However, that woman is different. The lifespan of humans is short and she therefore has no way of staying by your side forever like . As such, she wants you to shoulder the responsibility of the crown. This is one of the reasons we can never reconcile.
Right now, your eyes carry determination and a will that a child shouldnt have. The last ti I saw that gaze was when that woman went back. Those are the eyes of a king. You didnt grow up the way mommy had in mind. Mommys plan has crumbled. You couldnt maintain your childlike nature forever. Youre now walking the path of a king. Mommy is really sad. Truly very sad. As a king, you will inevitably have to witness and shed blood, and you will finally beco used to its scent.
Mom tightened her arms around . She smiled bitterly and said: Even I cant forget the feeling of killing soone after trying my absolute best to fulfil the roles of a mother because Id witnessed far too much bloodshed and killed far too many people. The sa applies for that woman. A king is bound to be soaked with blood. Son, youve already been involved with too much blood. Mommy is afraid that you will stray from the right path if this happens again.
Rember, son. Killing is not violence, but killing the innocent is a sin. When you wield your sword, you must be filled with pain and respect, not joy and insanity. Son, youre still kind. Dont let your kindness disappear. Mommy will protect you. Mommy will definitely protect you. When youre sad, suffering, and in despair, mommy will definitely protect you, promise. Mommy loves you. Mommy will love you always Youre my dearest son Mommy wont stop you if you decide to shoulder all this. However, mommy will definitely protect you, look after you and love you until mommys heart stops beating.
Mom lowered her head and sobbed by my ear as she hugged tightly.
I couldnt move, nor could I shed a tear, otherwise I wouldve hugged mom tightly and cried loudly.
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