I sat up straight so I could look at Al's face. Dejection was written all over it.
"That's not it. I think you deserve better."
I really, truly did. Al deserved the best possible person for him and it wasn't .
"Nobody in this world could be better for than you," he said stubbornly as he stared back. I could practically see his resolve tangibly surround him like a wall.
"Al"
"I don't expect you to love ; I just want to be near you. Can't I do that?" he pleaded softly before sighing and rubbing his forehead.
"This is why I didn't want to tell you but you just had to trick it out of . What was the point of that? Satisfying your own curiosity? Weren't things fine the way they were?"
Again, I had no explanation since I wanted to gauge where he was at to figure out what to do about Marcy. Since that was off the table, now what? I could admit where I went wrong.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."
"Well, I can't regret it completely," Al admitted, holding his hand to his head in a way that obscured his eyes. "You wouldn't have kissed otherwise."
My cheeks flad and I buried my face in my hands. Could we not have this conversation while I was sitting on his lap? ntioning the kiss made think about his lips and how close they were to mine right now.
It would be too easy to kiss him again. What on earth was wrong with ? I was not that kind of girl, okay?!
I tried scooting onto the other side of the couch but he stopped by holding Burrito Katie tightly. My knees and elbows were bent underneath the blanket so I was truly stuck.
"What are you doing?"
"Holding you hostage."
"Why?" I asked nervously.
"Because I want the truth about how you feel. I'll let you go afterwards," Al said firmly.
His expression was more somber than I had seen it in a very long ti. Probably since before I ca to the palace.
My heart stuttered. How did I feel? What did I want from Al? What did I want, period?
This novel was a ss and I didn't know if I even had the heart to fix it anymore. So if I disregarded the fact that I was in a novel that should follow the plot, what did I want to do?
The sparkle of my wedding ring under the lamplight caught my attention. It was a sapphire surrounded by a halo of flower-shaped diamonds that had been part of the royal treasury for generations. We were married. I was allowed to kiss him if I wanted to.
My problem was a moral oneis it really okay to kiss sobody you don't have feelings for? Or should it be used as a way to try and grow feelings? Could I abandon my principles and make the best of it like Mariela?
I probably wouldn't find anyone else who felt like a normal person in this world. I knew Al and liked him as a person. He understood better than just about anyone. I had fun with him. And I wanted him to be happywhat would make him happier than sticking to the original plan of escaping this place and living simple lives together?
Was I crazy? I was actually considering staying married to him even though I was absolutely against arranged marriage!
"It's complicated," I said laly.
"What's complicated? Either you like or you don't."
"Of course I like you! Out of everybody here, you're my favorite! But that's as a person, not"
"Not as a man," Al stated bluntly. He ran a hand through his hair, a bit desperate.
"Is there anything I can do to change that? I did want to woo you properly you know, but I was so afraid you would be snatched away that I had to act fast. I thought I could do it subtly over ti but that's out of the question now since you know I don't want to be just a friend."
So he had planned this from the beginning. Marrying quickly before soone else could and getting to fall in love with him later once I was stuck. How manipulative.
I wanted to be mad but couldn't muster the energy for it. I quit. It was easier to give into the madness.
I may as well try out being husband and wife to see if I could handle it long term. I was tired of fighting against what was probably inevitable all long.
Maybe sowhere the author of this novel was laughing at . I tried so hard to make things follow her plan but in the end I beca the main character and got the prince's heart. What would it hurt if I tried to give him mine?
"Just kiss ," I blurted before squeezing my eyes shut. Too late for regrets now. It was out.
Al gaped at in utter shock. He couldn't even form a coherent sentence and stuttered out random words like 'you' and 'what' for a while before giving up. It was kind of cute seeing him so flustered.
I gathered my courage and spoke as nonchalantly as possible.
"I do fully expect you to woo . I'm a romantic at heart and am not happy I got tricked into this marriage but since I'm here I may as well give you a chance. Last ti wasn't terrible so it's probably a good starting point."
How I said all of that with a straight face, I'd never know. I wanted to bury my head in a hole like an ostrich and never co out. The absolute wonder shining on Al's face was the only thing that prevented from running away screaming in mortification.
It was the happiest I had ever seen him and my heart ward a bit at the sight. He really loved . How crazy.
As promised, Al released and I took the blanket off. It wouldn't do to kiss soone while in a cocoon.
I imagine I didn't look very good in that mont between my ssy hair, puffy eyes, and wrinkled outfit but none of that seed to matter because he gazed at with an impossibly soft look in his eyes. I practically squeaked in embarrassnt but that didn't stop him from moving closer and rubbing a loose curl between his fingers.
He sighed happily. "I'm not dreaming, right?"
"Would you like to pinch you?"
"I'll pass." Al suddenly reached forward and pulled back into his lap like I weighed nothing before kissing fervently.
I officially abandoned the plot of the novel in favor of living my life the way I wanted it. Right now I had no greater priority than enjoying being kissed by my husband. Little did I know, my choice would cause a much greater shift to the story and this world than I ever could have anticipated.
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