A second later, the loud hum of the holographic projectors resounded.
Stepping forward, I stood amidst the flickering targets, sword in hand, trying to lose myself in the familiar rhythm of combat drills.
My mind was a ss.
When left with nothing to do, my thoughts never stopped churning.
If I wasn't thinking about yesterday, then I thought about Emir, theorizing what he had in store.
That was a problem that I had to resolve... I simply couldn't function like this.
So losing myself here was the only solution that I thought of.
Schwing!
Each swing and parry should have been more fluid, but today they felt extrely disjointed and clumsy as if I was fighting against more than just holograms.
mories from the outpost surfaced uninvited, playing out in my mind with vivid clarity.
The chaos, the anger... the fear, the damn FEAR.
They looked at with such unbridled fear that struck to the core.
It was as if I had sent them to hell.
Gone was the stampede that ran close to death, replaced by pitiful n and won who begged like I was their god.
They desperately held onto my feet, dragging themselves along the bloodied ground, looking up at with eyes that scread terror.
Schwing!
Like the hologram before , I had cut them and their hope away, kicking off those who managed to hold on.
I didn't even give them a second of attention.
They either had no life insurance or the package they purchased couldn't cover their level of injury.
So I followed my cohort's lead, acting as if they weren't there.
Now... all that ca back to bite .
Emotions that I couldn't even na-they all swirled together, creating a storm that threatened to overwhelm .
Schwing!
I swung my sword with more force than necessary, trying to channel my frustration into each strike.
"You're a waste of space."
But as the hologram struck back, that fucker's words cut through like a blade.
I gritted my teeth, trying to push the thoughts away, but they persisted, gnawing at my resolve.
Those in the stampede were angry, scared, and on tenth thought, I couldn't bla them. They saw as soone who didn't belong, soone who couldn't handle the pressure- soone in over their head.
An Elite who mistook having the best equipnt for having actual skill.
Maybe they were right. Maybe I was just a burden, dragging everyone down with .
'No! That's not a valid excuse!'
My thoughts earned a response from my mories.
A reminder of the screams of hunters, the sll of smoke and blood-it was all too much.
I could almost feel the ground trembling beneath my feet again, and hear the panicked shouts ringing in my ears.
Schwing!
Each strike was a release of pent-up frustration, a futile attempt to vent the overwhelming emotions that threatened to suffocate since I witnessed that scene.
"They were at fault! I did nothing wrong!'
Schwing!
But then, all of a sudden, the holograms I cut didn't dissipate into thin air like usual.
They fell to the ground, dead, a pool of blood around them, left to rot as I had done to many in the outpost.
"Blurgh..."
A wave of nausea swept over , and I stumbled, my grip on the blade slipping.
I collapsed to my knees, gasping for air as tears welled up, blurring my vision.
The weight of my actions-or lack thereof-crushed .
I had failed them. I had failed myself.
"No..."
I muttered hoarsely, my voice breaking.
What revenge? I had no right to talk.
"I couldn't... I didn't..."
The cold floor beneath was a stark reminder of my vulnerability.
Guilt, heavier than anything that I've ever felt, pressed down on my chest, making it hard to
breathe.
How could I face myself after what happened?
In the silence of the training room, I felt utterly alone.
The walls seed to close in around , trapping in a prison of my own making.
I wrapped my arms around myself, shaking with silent sobs.
The tears ca freely now, hot and bitter against my cheeks.
And ti seed to stretch as I wrestled with my emotions.
The guilt, the fear, the sense of failure-they were relentless, refusing to let go.
I wanted to scream, to shout out my frustrations to the empty room, but all that escaped my lips were choked sobs.
The dead holographic targets flickered, their movents mocking my distress.
Each one represented a missed opportunity, a mistake that cost lives, a mistake that spelled
my hypocrisy.
I wanted to destroy them all, to obliterate every reminder of what I had done, but I knew it wouldn't change anything.
Ping~
But then I was jolted 'awake' due to my terminal chiming softly, signaling an incoming
ssage.
I ignored it, lost in my own turmoil.
I didn't know who it was, but I didn't care; no one would check up on .
I had no friends in the Academy, not even back ho, where 'ho' used to be.
At least not after what happened.
They all left when the vultures took everything.
It just showed how vain my life was...
As minutes passed, the sobs subsided into quiet sniffles.
I sat back on my heels, wiping tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand.
The ache in my chest hadn't lessened, but I felt a strange, sorrowful calm settle over . Acceptance... perhaps. Acceptance that I couldn't change the past, but I could control how I moved forward.
I glanced at the terminal, its soft glow a stark contrast to the dimness of the training room. Wondering who it might be, my mind went wild and the na of a certain professor ca up.
Emir. Maybe he needed for sothing?
Or he might've seen my state in the caras... I didn't know which scenario I hated more.
But I knew that if he ssaged , his words were poised to manipulate in so way- truths and lies that would spin my emotions and use them to further his own agenda, like a puppeteer pulling strings in the dark behind the curtains.
Most would call obsessed, but I observed how he moved, how he acted against the parasite, and how he prepared for our dive.
He was always many steps ahead.
So I couldn't stop wondering if he knew about my breakdown-if he had orchestrated it
sohow.
'...Let's see it for now.'
Shaking off my fear and doubts, I reached for the terminal with trembling fingers.
The screen blinked to life, displaying the ssage waiting to be opened.
I hesitated, my heart pounding in my chest.
"Hooooohhhh..."
Taking a deep breath, I tapped the screen, opening the ssage that would shape my next
steps, for better or worse.
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