The two sisters discussion had co to an end, and so they paid for their tea and got up, preparing to go their separate ways. At this mont, the gate to the Su Manor opened and a small palanquin covered in plain white cloth was carried out. Qin Banruo recognized this as the palanquin i Changsu used often when he went out, and she imdiately slipped out of the tea shop and began following it from a distance. Fourth Sister was by nature quiet and did not like to involve herself in matters that had nothing to do with her, and so, as Qin Banruo had not called for her to follow, she too left the tea shop and vanished silently into the streets.
Qin Banruo had initially thought that i Changsu had left by the back gate of his manor because he was on so covert mission and was trying to hide his tracks, but after following his palanquin for two entire streets, she was forced to admit that, in fact, he had left by the back gate simply because it was closer to the South Gates of the city, and made for a more direct route.
Outside the South Gates, the crowds were much thinner than they had been in the city. Qin Banruo was on the one hand rather tired, and on the other not a formidable martial artist, and so she dared not continue her tracking, but stopped and watched as the palanquin disappeared into the distance.
Qin Banruo could not have known that i Changsu would not go far. In fact, his little procession only ventured about two miles down the road south of the city before stopping at a pavilion at the top of a small hill. i Changsu erged from the palanquin and entered the pavilion, sitting down on one of its stone stools to idly flip through a scroll he had brought with him, while his guards settled themselves outside with wine and tea.
Around an hour later, a plu of dust arose from the direction of the city. Li Gang, standing guard nearby, was the first to notice, and called out softly, Chief. i Changsu rolled up his scroll and stood to peer into the distance, where he could just make out two figures in horseback riding towards them, one in front of the other.
Li Gangs vision was a little better, and so while i Changsu was still trying to see if these were indeed the people he was waiting for, Li Gang had already recognized them, and said lowly, Chief, its them.
i Changsu nodded and did not speak, but Li Gang understood his intention, and was already leaving the pavilion to stand by the side of the road. The two riders ca closer and closer, but they did not seem to have noticed Li Gang. He was just about to wave to attract their attention when suddenly, the rider in front swung his horse around for no apparent reason and stared back in the direction he had co from.
But the reason behind his action quickly beca apparent. Out of the cloud of dust galloped a third rider, who cried out as he raced towards them, Jingrui! Jingrui, wait!
The rider beside Jingrui seed agitated, and cried out herself, Dage, dage, lets go, quick!
Xiao Jingrui lifted his left hand and gestured placatingly at her, and not only refused to continue, but swung down off his horse.
Dage! Yuwen Nians voice was trembling.
Nian nian, Xiao Jingrui smiled at her sadly. My friend is calling for , and I have heard him, how can I ignore him?
Butyou promised.
Dont worry, I promised you I would go back with you to visit him, and I will keep my word. But we are not running for our lives, and my friend has co to see us on our way, so what are you afraid of?
By this ti, Yujin had arrived before them, his hair and clothes covered with dust, entirely bereft of their usual grace and elegance. He leapt off his horse and rushed over to Jingrui, grabbing his arm. Jingrui, where are you going?
Xiao Jingrui answered bluntly, To Ying, capitol of Da Chu.
Jingrui!
Nian nian received a letter, her father is gravely ill and wisheswishes to see . My mother has given her permission and so, by rights, I ought to go pay him a visit.
Yan Yujin had originally co with the intention of forcing him to stay, but after hearing this, he found there was nothing he could say. The hand grasping Xiao Jingruis arm loosened, and after a long mont, he couldnt help himself and asked, Then, will you ever co back?
Xiao Jingrui lowered his eyes. Mother is still here, how could I never return?
Though his tone were indifferent, Yan Yujin felt a pain deep in his heart on hearing these words. And yet, Xiao Jingrui himself was keeping his calm, and it would not do for him to be the one to beco emotional, and so he hurriedly bit his lip and controlled himself, and a long mont passed before he was able to say, Jingrui, ever since that day, I have been wanting to find you for a good long talk, but the ti was never right. Jingrui, there are so things you really must not take too much to heart. After all, they are in the past now, and are the grievances of the previous generation, and have nothing to do with you at all.
Alright, Yujin, Xiao Jingrui cut him off gently. You dont need to continue, I understand what you an. Butno matter what, you cannot say they have nothing to do with . My father, my mother, my brothers and sisters these are ties that cannot be broken, not to ntion all those years of affection, and the gratitude and loyalty I bear for everything they have done for . None of this can be so easily torn away by so truth that has been revealed.
Jingrui
I know you want to not take all of this to heart so much, and you wish that I could be the Xiao Jingrui of the past. But, Yujin, this I truly cannot do. To , in the space of a single night, everything I had ever known was overturned, and so, if all of that has changed, then how can I not change as well? And so, whether I will it or not, Xiao Jingrui is no longer the Xiao Jingrui of the past, and has not been for so ti, and in this respect, I fear I can only disappoint you.
Yan Yujin took a deep breath, and then stepped forward, grasping Xiao Jingruis shoulder with both hands and shaking it slightly as he said, slowly and clearly, Thats right, I do indeed wish you could be the you of the past. But as you cannot do so, then it is of no matter. We have grown up together since we were small, and you have changed anyway, from that short round little boy into a tall and handso man, from being so quiet and unwilling to speak into soone who joins Xie Bi in making fun of . I do not mind your continuing to change, since no matter how you change, you are still my friend, unparalleled and second to none, and the friendship between the two of us will never change! So listen to and listen well, no matter where you go, you must rember , this friend of yours, because if you dare to forget, I will never forgive you, do you hear ?
By the ti he finished, his voice was a little hoarse, and his eyes ringed in red. The hands gripping Xiao Jingruis shoulder were clenched so tight that his fingertips were beginning to hurt. His little speech had not been long, but no one could doubt the depth of its sincerity, and its honest, raw warmth. Xiao Jingrui lowered his head, his eyes wet. Even Yuwen Nian, who stood to one side listening, could not help turning her head to one side and subtly wiping the corner of her eyes with a finger.
Alright, now you may go wherever you like then. You have always wandered all over the place in the past anyway, it is only that Da Chu is a little far, so you must take care. Yan Yujin inhaled through his nose and took a step back. Whether you have news or not, rember to write to .
Xiao Jingrui made a soft noise of affirmation and lifted his head. The two held each others gazes for a long mont, and then smiled tremulously at one another. But beneath the smiles, they could both see the deep grief that could be neither concealed nor diluted.
Because the two young n knew in their hearts that, with this parting, they did not know when they would et again.
Once the mourning period for the Grand Empress Dowager passed, even Grand Princess Liyang would return to her hotown, and then, even if Xiao Jingrui were to return to Da Liang, he would likely never step foot again in the capitol.
The two of them had grown up together, had been born of similar backgrounds, and were close in age and alike in disposition, and so they had expected to remain close friends as they accompanied each other down the paths of their lives, which would surely run parallel to each other, sharing milestones and trajectories. Who could have imagined that a single night could rent them so far apart that their roads now may as well be on opposite ends of the world?
Even soone as cheerful as Yan Yujin could not suppress the helplessness that welled up in his heart.
Dage, should we go? Yuwen Nian walked over, her eyes red, and tugged at her elder brothers sleeve.
Xiao Jingrui and Yan Yujin raised their arms at the sa ti and embraced each other tightly.
Go on then, Ill watch you ride off. You must take care on the. Yan Yujins parting words, spoken with a forced smile, abruptly ca to a halt, and his gaze fixed on sothing behind Xiao Jingrui, his expression strange.
Xiao Jingrui imdiately turned to look behind him and saw Li Gang standing by the road about thirty yards away, his back ramrod straight, and when he saw them notice him, he raised a finger and pointed to the small hill beside the road.
In fact, before Li Gangs finger had even lifted, Xiao Jingrui already knew whom it was he would see, and so, in that first mont, he hesitated, but after a brief pause, he calmly raised his eyes.
In the pavilion at the top of the small hill stood i Changsu, leaning on a rail, his robes blowing gently in the wind. Although it was impossible to see his subtle expressions from this distance, his stance made it clear that he was here purposefully awaiting Xiao Jingrui.
Jingrui. Yan Yujin sounded worried.
Xiao Jingrui gathered his composure and then answered indifferently, He has likely co to see on my way. I will go over and have a few words.
Ill co with. The words died in Yan Yujins throat. Intelligent as he was, he understood that there were so heartaches that one had to face alone, without help or interference from any bystander, and so he backed away a few steps and did not speak again.
Yuwen Nian did not know of the friendship that once existed between Xiao Jingrui and i Changsu, and so she did not understand what was happening. She stepped forward, about to ask, but was stopped by Yan Yujin, who grabbed her and pulled her back.
By this ti, Xiao Jingrui was already striding swiftly towards the pavilion, his face pale, but his stance and steps perfectly steady.
Please sit. i Changsu gave a small smile, then lifted the silver pot on the table and filled a cup, pushing it over. The road you must travel is long, let lift a cup in toast to a safe and peaceful journey.
Xiao Jingrui accepted the cup, drained it, wiped at the corner of his mouth and replaced the cup on the table, then lifted both hands in a courtesy. I thank Mister Su for coming to see on my journey. The ti has co for to take my leave.
i Changsu watched as the young man turned and left, and it was not until he had walked to the edge of the pavilion that he asked softly, Jingrui, why do you not hate ?
Xiao Jingruis figure halted, froze for a mont, and then he turned and looked straight at i Changsu. What could I hate you for? You did not create my mothers past. You did not arrange the circumstances of my birth. The unjust deeds of Mar- Marquis Xie were his own doing, and were not sched or designed by you. You and I both understand, what caused unasurable pain was the truth itself, and not the hands that uncovered it. The events of the past have no relation to you, and I would not be so absurd as to cast my anger on you, and hold you responsible for wrongs that were committed by other people.
But I had the power to keep the truth concealed, and instead I let it erupt, and erupt with such ferocity. I did so without the slightest regard for your feelings, and without regard for the friendship between us. For this, you must bear so anger, no?
Xiao Jingrui shook his head and smiled sadly. To tell you the truth, I was once very upset by what you did. But I am no longer an arrogant child, and I understand that there are choices each of us must face. You chose what you believed to be important, and gave up. This was only a decision you made, nothing more. I cannot hate you because you did not choose , especially sinceyou had no responsibility or obligation to prioritize , and although this was sothing I once hoped for, in the end, it is not sothing I can demand.
It is true that I did not have to prioritize you, but ever since we t, you have always treated with the utmost sincerity, and in this regard, I owe you.
I was sincere towards you because I wished to be. If I could gain sothing by that sincerity, certainly I would be glad, but if I cannot, then neither do I bear any regrets.
There was sorrow in i Changsus eyes, but he still bore a small smile on his face. Though you bear no regrets, the friendship between you and is no more, and we cannot be friends again.
Xiao Jingrui lowered his head silently. Ever since the two had t, he had always admired i Changsus talent, looking up to him as a teacher and friend, and had taken great care to preserve their friendship. He had never imagined that, step by step, they would journey to a point where they could no longer call each other friend.
In fact, aside from a little heartache, there was not any true enmity between them. But after everything he had experienced, Xiao Jingrui finally felt the truth of the words Yan Yujin had spoken so long ago that he and i Changsu simply were not of the sa world, and the inequality between them was so great that there could be no grounds for a true friendship.
To bear neither hatred nor anger towards one another was already the best ending they could have hoped for.
Perhaps, in the future, growth might bring about change. Perhaps, in the future, there could be encounters as yet unimaginable. But, for the present at least, just as i Changsu had said, they could no longer be friends.
Jingrui, i Changsu stepped forward, gazing warmly into the young mans eyes. You are the most forgiving child I have ever known. The Heavens have granted you such gentleness and kindness, and such a disposition for forgetting hatred, perhaps to offset the pain and suffering you must experience. I truly hope with all my heart that, in the future, you can preserve this sincere and earnest heart of yours, and that you may find peace and fortune, because it is what you deserve.
Many thanks. Xiao Jingrui took a deep breath, and then blew it out again slowly. There was much in his heart he wished to say, but when the words rose to his lips, he found that they were useless, and so he rely composed himself, and then turned and quickly left the pavilion.
Yuwen Nian and Yan Yujin were waiting for him at the bottom of the hill, and the three only exchanged a few simple words of parting before Xiao Jingrui and his sister mounted their horses and rode off towards the south. Yan Yujin watched until their figures disappeared into the distance, his face sad, then turned and looked up at the pavilion again. He hesitated, and then decided to go over to pay his greetings.
But this was a poor circumstance for small talk, and the two were not in such a mood in any case, and so after a few polite words, Yan Yujin took his leave and rode back towards the city.
Chief, the wind is fierce here, shall we return as well? Li Gang asked lowly, gathering up the wine pot and cups as he spoke.
i Changsu nodded his assent and got up slowly to leave the pavilion. Just before he entered his palanquin, he turned and looked in the direction Xiao Jingrui had gone, standing still for a long mont, as if in deep thought.
Chief? Chief?
i Changsus long thin brows furrowed and he sighed. Da Chu is not without danger. Pass on my orders to send Zhu Xi over, and have him look after them in any way he can.
Hai Yans Notes: Jingrui can take a temporary rest. Readers who love him say goodbye for now, and in a little while, Hai Yan jiejie will go and bring him back ~~~
Translators Notes:
This chapter broke . Why cant they just cry. I want to cry.
#letmysunshineboyscry2k19
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