Xing Han was shocked at hearing those words from Nitocris. He looked at his beloved worriedly, and asked, "What are you scared about?"
Nitocris caressed Xing Han's cheek, as he looked upon his puppy who truly did not look like he understood.
"I can't help but feel … jealous of Kyle," Nitocris started, and Xing Han looked visibly upset.
"Cookie, I've told you," Xing Han said when Nitocris cut him off.
"Yes, I know, I know," Nitocris said with a sigh, "Kyle is your best friend and I am the one you love. I know that. I know."
"But I still can't help it. You've been with Kyle since forever, and you're always gushing about him. You guys know each other inside out," Nitocris explained, "He's your age. While ? I …"
He sighed, leaning his forehead on Xing Han's.
"I'm so much older than you. My hands are so full of blood, my world is so dark," Nitocris said softly, "Every single day, just waking up with you beside , is like a miracle. I feel like this is just a dream sotis."
"And one day, you'll wake up to realise …"
A sharp sound of a slap reverted in the kitchen.
Nitocris was stunned.
The slap didn't hurt, really, but that was the first ti Xing Han actually turned physically violent. He looked at Xing Han who's chest was heaving up and down as he glared at Nitocris.
"How … how could you even say that? Or think that?" Xing Han asked, "Do you think I'm that fickle-minded? That my feelings for you is that shallow?"
"What would it take for you to believe in , to trust ?" Xing Han continued, "Never talking or seeing Kyle again? Stay locked up at ho?"
Nitocris saw the anguish in Xing Han's eyes and said mournfully, "But don't you see? That is exactly why I'm so scared."
"Because a part of wants exactly that, and yet the rationale part of knows that it's ridiculous," Nitocris continued, "I have that internal battle within all the ti. Most of the ti, I can suppress such thoughts but this ti …"
"Puppy, when you lied to about why you wanted to go over to Kyle, I just couldn't. I couldn't let you go," Nitocris admitted.
Xing Han's shoulders slumped and with his fingertips, he touched the cheek that he had slapped earlier, "I didn't lie, Cookie."
Nitocris looked offended at that statent.
"Listen to ," Xing Han insisted, "I have never lied to you, and I never will but yes, there are things that I do not tell you. Are you saying that you tell everything about what you do?"
Nitocris shook his head, "But that deals with work."
"Sotis, you co ho with the strong sll of blood on you, and your eyes are dark," Xing Han said, "But you never tell what you did and I never asked. I never questioned you because if it's sothing I needed to know, you'd tell ."
"It's not the sa," Nitocris replied.
"It is," Xing Han countered, "I do miss Kyle and I am worried for him. I want to be there for him. I didn't lie about that."
"But why do you need to when Kay is already there?" Nitocris asked, "Why must you be there? Why can't you tell the real reason why you need to be there?"
"Why not?" Xing Han asked back, "If soone you care about is hurt, would you stay ho and not go just because soone is there already?"
"And what is this 'real reason' that you are talking about? Isn't the fact that I want to be there to comfort him not enough?"
Nitocris was stumped.
He could not answer that.
Xing Han was right in that just because they were a couple, it did not an that they needed to share everything completely.
That is where trust cos in.
He sighed deeply as he closed his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Cookie," Xing Han said, his heart in pain as he saw the internal struggle his beloved was going through, "I never ant to make you feel insecure. Kyle is special to , yes, but only as a best friend. I share secrets with him, but those are Kyle's secret and it isn't for to tell."
"I may not tell you everything when it concerns him, but it has nothing to do with us," Xing Han said, running his thumb over his beloved's lips.
"Kyle is special to because he's my best friend," Xing Han continued and felt Nitocris stiffened at that statent.
He smiled, and leaned closer, "You, on the other hand .."
Xing Han kissed him, saying against his lips, "Are a part of . I'm in love with you, and only you. I've told you before, and I'll tell you again. I love Kyle, but the one I'm in love with, is you. You are the one I love. You."
"Have I not shown you how much I love you? Is my love not enough? Why do you still have the fear that I'll leave you one day? In fact, it should be that is scared that one day, you'll just wake up and realise … you deserve better," Xing Han said.
Nitocris growled angrily at that, gripping Xing Han tightly, "I dare you to say that again!! How dare you even have such thoughts?!"
"Oh? You can have such thoughts but not ? Why? Look at you. Strong, handso and rich," Xing Han counted, "While ? I'm this fat, childish kid following you around."
"You are not! I love you, and only you. How can you even have such thoughts? Have I not shown you how much I love you? Is my love not enough...?"
Nitocris stopped, finding the words he was saying was exactly what Xing Han said earlier.
He sighed.
"Okay, I understand," Nitocris said, "If you still want to go to Country M, then go. I'm sorry."
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