Aya was not always a sad girl. She could still rember a ti when she was happy. A ti when she could laugh and play with her mother, had friends, and her brother was nice to her.
However, as ti passed little Aya started noting things changing.
"SHIT! Everything, everything, it is ALL YOUR fault! If you had supported better then I wouldn't be so stressed and wouldn't have lost my job!" Aya's father, Jirou Asagiri, shouted at his wife, Momoko. The woman was shrinking into herself in fear but that was no solution as Jirou, in his anger, slapped her so hard she went to the floor.
As she hit the floor she turned back to him with a glare but Jirou looked down at her.
"What? Do you have any problem with my words? You just need to obey and support with all you can, it is a simple task that even a drop out of college like you should be able to do." Jirou said and Momoko wanted to retort that it was only because HE got her pregnant that she had to drop out since soone had to raise their son, Kana, and get the money to support the child.
But she did not dare speak up about this again, not after the last ti she did that.
And, as Aya watched this all happen, she was passed over by Jirou who went towards Kana with great fervor and dropped to his knees in front of his son so he could look at him, eye to eye.
"Kana, my son, you have to be the best. Rember this, only the one at the top can enjoy life so you have to enter the best university, be the best in every test, you are destined and must always be the absolute best. Otherwise, otherwise, otherwise!" Jirou then, in front of a frightened Kana, pulled his son's hair and yelled. "YOU WILL BECO USELESS! You WILL be the best no matter what, do you hear ?! You have no other choice, you will be the best no matter what!"
It was after this day that her father lost his job that Aya's life started to turn to ruin.
///---///
After that day life grew progressively worst. After her father lost his job he would spend most days sitting on the couch, a beer can in hand while Momoko had to go out and get a job herself since Jirou decided he could not let her be the one to raise Kana. Kana was the center of the family and Momoko had to spend more and more ti out in search of jobs.
Momoko would start working at 6 in the morning to only get ho late at night every single day while also being responsible for cleaning the house, letting the food ready, and everything else by herself. Aya wanted to help and she did what she could, but she was still small and couldn't do much. Kana at the start also wanted to help but he couldn't since he had to study.
Of the food that was made by Momoko most of it went to the important people of the house, aning Kana got the biggest share and to eat the better parts, Jirou got the second best but he didn't mind that since his als were almost as big as Kana's own, and Aya got to keep the scraps that were left behind afterward. She once tried to take so more, to eat so at that slled so good instead of just a little rice with maybe so vegetables like most other als, but she was reprimanded harshly and yelled at for trying to take the at that should belong to those that matter most, with the most important being Kana who had to be properly fed to continue being the best.
Momoko wanted to help but there was just so much she could do seeing as how constantly exhausted she was from her work and needing to take care of the house. She highly appreciated Aya trying to help despite being so little, but she couldn't do anything to help Aya since she feared the reaction of Jirou if she tried.
Years passed like this, Kana's grades beca better and better as ti went by and he was hailed as a genius by Jirou who would proclaim loudly how everything was going right. When it was ti for middle school Kana got a scholarship for a prestigious private school, all of which indicated for Jirou that he was right in his decisions and he focused even more on making sure Kana would improve.
The situation, however, got worst for Aya since her mother could handle less and less of the cleaning of the house so more and more it was her own responsibility to do so. As such, despite being 9 years old, she was the one that was responsible for most of the household work of the house except for food. It was very tough and her school grades suffered because of the fact that the ti she should have spent learning and studying was instead spent cleaning the house and making sure everything is perfect and stress-free for Kana.
No matter how good or bad her grades got her father did not care, but he would not let her go play outside or visit friends since she had work to do cleaning the house. Everyone in the house have their responsibility, he would say, Momoko needs to put her fat lazy useless dropout ass to work and bring money, Aya had to be worth the money they waste feeding and housing her by cleaning the house, Kana had to study to always be the best and get into Tokyo University, and Jirou had to watch over Kana to make sure he is studying properly.
Anything beyond that was unacceptable in Jirou's eyes, sothing Aya learned the one ti she went with a friend to buy so ice cream before coming back ho and was yelled at for being late to do her work and went to sleep without any dinner and in the morning she also did not have any breakfast.
It was an oppressive and restrictive household, there was no laughter or happiness to be found there besides the one Jirou could feel whenever Kana got first place, confirming his believes. However, after entering Middle school in such a fancy and high-level school, sothing terrible happened.
Aya was returning ho from classes as normal, she had gone straight back on foot to her house so it took a little while but when she entered the ho she saw it.
"YOU FAILURE! SCUM! USELESS TRASH! WASTE OF SEN! HOW DARE YOU FAIL?!" Jirou said as he straddled a terrified Kana who was cowering on the floor, his father on top of him as if he would hit him and spit flying everywhere. Aya felt like running away when she saw this, but as she tried to move back she made a terrible mistake.
She made noise.
Due to a loose floorboard, a sound was released and, with it, Jirou turned his crazed eyes at her.
She wanted to escape but before she could Jirou ca to her and his hand moved, grabbing her by the hair he dragged the girl to in front of Kana who looked at everything in fear.
"You see THIS useless waste of a human being? This failure who can't do anything right? Well, if you continue to fail you will end up like her, and no child of mine should be this pathetic!" Jirou yelled while moving Aya's head from one side to the other by the hair. She was crying out in pain from it and Kana could only watch it all happening in fear but he couldn't help but comnt.
"... I am not a loser. I only got second place in the whole school's scores of the 400 students." He muttered and Jirou froze as he heard this and moved his face inches to Kana's own face, the eyes of the father bearing down on the son's.
"You still lost. A loser has no rights, has no future, and is unnecessary. Now you listen to , and listen well. You are the finest human being, you are destined for greatness beyond all others, but you have to work hard for it. Failure like this one you had where you got second place is not enough, you have to be the first place. Be the winner you are DESTINED to be, or you can just go ahead and die in a ditch like a loser." Jirou said as he clenched his fists, mories of his own floating inside his mind and his own failures appearing in his eyes and anger bubbled over it all.
But Jirou cald down as he thought that he now had a second chance, he had Kana who would be the winner Jirou knew THEY were.
As he was thinking this he heard the sniffing from Aya who started to cry out of the pain from her hair being pulled like that. Turning to her he stared with dead cold eyes and spoke.
"... A loser shouldn't be wasting ti crying. Go and make us so food, Aya." He said as he shoved the crying girl on the floor. Her hitting the floor loudly and Kana looking at all this in fear of also becoming a loser. He had ingrained in his mind that he had to be the winner, that he didn't want to be like Aya or their mother, eternal losers.
As for Aya, she could only stand up and go make dinner for her father and brother. That night Kana was given less food than normal and, as logic would have it, Aya was given even less since she was an even bigger loser who could barely scrape by in regards to grades in general with all her ti and energy being spent in keeping the house sparkling clean for her family.
At night, when it was ti to go to bed, Aya laid on her back tiredly. She just wanted to rest after a day like this, but there was a knock on the door. Opening it was her brother... and the hellish days worsening to a whole new level.
///---///
Since the day when her brother got his first, and only, second place in middle school Aya's routine grew worse. Not only she had to work around the house, get little food, and not manage to have even one friend in class thanks to how she was always tired and couldn't go out or talk with any of her classmates after class, but she got a routinely companion during the nights.
PUNCH
The sound of vomiting could be heard as the little food Aya had managed to eat during dinner was expelled. Her brother grinning down at her as he saw it and with a mocking tone spoke.
"How dirty, couldn't even handle just a single strike? Being so weak, it must be the difference between a loser like you and a winner like !" Kana said as he raised her head by the hair and punched her on the face.
As she recoiled back he saw her cowering form and grinned in scorn down at her.
"Eat it."
"Huh?"
"I said EAT. IT! Are you so dumb you can't even understand simple orders, trash? The family had to spend money to actually buy the food, so you wasting it won't do. Now EAT IT!" Kana said as he pushed her head against the vomit on the floor, maniacal glee in his eyes as pleasure rolled through him.
This was the ONLY thing he could truly do to vent the stress he got from all the pressure and studies he had to constantly be doing. If he tried to watch TV or play on the computer then Jirou would scream and possibly beat him for wasting his ti, but doing this was fine. Jirou never said anything and the first ti Momoko tried to intervene Jirou said to let the kids play for a bit and they were just a 'bit rough'.
Aya had dread things could improve after they moved out of the city she grew up in. The whole family moved after Kana managed to obtain a scholarship in the famous Kuoh Academy and her father even made him go out a bit sotis, try to socialize with the ladies of high society that frequented the academy as they could be good connections in the future.
Her father had even gotten a job so he spent less ti at ho, so Aya thought that things would calm down.
... They did not.
The few acquaintances she had were now gone, her new schoolmates were vicious and abusive for her since practically day one and she couldn't turn to her parents since the ti she tried they didn't lift a single finger. She tried to turn to the teacher and he seed to want to help, but the next day he just started to pretend he didn't see anything no matter what happened to her.
Her brother's abuse only grew worst and worst since he now exercised more and had more strength, and no care for how badly he hurt her. Even when she tried her best she couldn't do anything right, she was never a winner at anything in her entire life.
Either school or ho, neither was a place where she could actually call 'ho', a place where she could belong without fear.
The only tis she was 'free' from it all was in the ways to and from school. Aya knew her mother wanted to help, but she feared her husband far too much to actually do anything and her father did not care for her beyond seeing her to what barely counted as a maid to do the cleaning and food for the house. Momoko had gotten a job in Kuoh, and it consud just as much ti as the previous one, so she paid even less attention to Aya than she did before.
No one cared for Aya, no one gave her comfort or a place to belong, she was living in hell.
The closest thing she had to a friend was a stray kitten that she did not dare take ho with her for fear of what her brother might do with it. It too was abandoned and had no real ho, so Aya felt like they were quite similar in many ways. Interacting with it was the only thing that made her able to give the slightest of smiles, but even then it was barely more than a slight upturn of the corner of the lips.
An unending hell was all Aya really knew of and, as ti passed and things only grew worse, one thought echoed in her mind.
'Maybe I should just die.'
Suicidal thoughts beca more and more normal for her. She even tried to follow through with them a few tis, but she was always too scared to actually make the jump in the end.
Every day as she walked to school she would look at the traffic and think how easy it would be. Just one step and all her pain would be over. She would be free from it all, from all the unending pain and humiliation she was forced to live by.
She even tried once to give that step, t throw herself forward, and let it all end.
But then-
"Hey there, be careful. If you are having low blood sugar or sothing you should recline against a wall instead of standing where you were, you could have died there."
Aya looked up and saw soone she could only describe as 'different'. His white hair and blue eyes stood out for her, but it wasn't just that, it was that he actually noticed what she was about to do.
His eyes shined with sothing she couldn't quite identify, it was a foreign emotion to her that she saw very few tis in the past in her mother's eye when looking at her.
Later she would understand that these were the eyes of soone worried for her.
However, for the current Aya who couldn't even comprehend that, anything strange and new frightened her as if she was a spooked rabbit.
"Ehm, sorry. I will be careful. Excuse ." Aya said, hoping he hadn't seen through her original motivations and trying to run away from this stranger that looked at her with eyes that shined with sothing she has never seen before.
However, he held her and did not let her go. He took her to a restaurant and made her request food to eat. He was pretty bossy to her, but, unlike her brother or father when ordering her, she never felt like she had to obey or be slapped, kicked, punched, or any other form of physical punishnt. It was strange for Aya but slightly comforting to not feel like she had to walk with as much care as she normally would.
He questioned her for her na and told her his na, he actually told her she did not have to feel pressured to tell him anything and he also made it clear that he knew what she was about to do, but he would not pressure her for her reasons.
Their talk was... comforting. Being able to talk, to misbehave as she passed the morning with Soma playing, it was sothing that she hasn't done for so long. To just play and be a girl instead of a loser, house cleaner, and sandbag.
Just those few hours left Aya feeling so safe, so free, so unlike herself that she almost forgot about her own life. Soma even introduced her to his cousin, Momo, after they returned to school, and seeing the two interact made Aya feel even stranger since those two, despite being cousins, were much more siblings than Aya has ever been with Kana. It was as if Aya was seeing an ideal she didn't even know existed, all right before her eyes.
But, when Aya entered the classroom, reality pressured her again. The scorn, indifference, and jeers from the other students over the big loser in class, her chair and table vandalized, the gazes of the trio of girls that always made her school life hell. It all was enough to make Aya feel reality return back to her, but this ti it was even worse since she now had a point of reference, proof that life could be more than this suffering, but yet she was still there. She was still suffering.
'... God, did I made sothing bad to deserve to live like this? Why do I have to suffer like this?' Aya thought to herself as she closed her eyes and ignored her surroundings, trying to keep the tears at bay since she knew that they would not solve anything. That they would just maker her torntors want to push her even further.
However, just as she was thinking this, Soma appeared again in class. He made quite the commotion and actually took away the damaged chair and table of Aya and gave her new and clean ones while taking said items away. The whole class it was like if her normal life had a weird new addition that didn't fit in.
Soone that actually tried to protect her, that wanted to help, it was a foreign concept to her.
At the end of class Soma ca to her, telling her to co with him so they could buy the stray kitten so things as he would be adopting it. It was a bit sad for Aya to know that she would no longer have that kitten, but she was more glad about it since it would now have a house.
She was about to excitedly go with Soma when-
"Sorry, but I and my little friend here have plans for after class. Right?"
Sarina, the head bully put her hand on Aya's shoulder. Sarina was everything Aya wasn't, she was confident, smart, athletic, popular, and was very pretty with her red hair and golden eyes. She was unlike Aya who had no confidence in herself, wasn't good in sports, didn't know how to interact with others, and was rather plain and a bit ugly with normal black hair and eyes while her skin was sickly and rough.
As Aya felt the hand of this Sarina, it was like if all good things disappeared in front of her. That hand was like if it was reassuring her of her real life, not the good dream that was being with soone like Soma, soone that Aya had difficulty seeing as real since he was so unlike the rest.
Aya froze at this and she only realized what was going on when Sarina seed to want to fight Soma. Aya feared this, feared the possibility of Sarina or her brother (Aya heard he was in a gang) doing anything to Soma. Aya could not see herself as worth the trouble, she would rather take it as usual instead of troubling Soma.
It was not much, but it was what she could do.
"S-Sarina-chan is r-r-right. Sorry, Soma-kun, but you can go ahead without ." She said and Sarina shot Soma a triumphant smile while also clenching the hand over Aya's shoulder, making Aya flinch in pain from the nails of the red-haired girl.
"Are you sure about that, Aya?" Soma asked, worry and concern in his face as he did that and Aya could only nod at this, in her mind she is only able to think that she had to protect him.
Truly, she was far too kind of a girl.
"Yes, you can go on ahead. Until tomorrow, Soma-kun." Aya said, trying to sound reassuring before leaving the classroom with Sarina.
She knew she might be doing a mistake, but she would rather suffer alone than pulling soone else with her.
///---///
"Hey, isn't this kinda boring?" Sarina asked as she sat in the toilet, a bored expression on her face as she looked on at Aya laying on the floor.
"Huh? Why you saying that now?" one of Sarina's friends asked as she had just finished writing on Aya's skin under the shirt the words 'Ugly pig'.
"Well, she barely even answers anymore. She just stays there, there is no excitent in it, you know." Sarina said as she looked at Aya's vacant eyes. She had long since learned to ignore it all, far too used to be abused and humiliated at this point.
"I dunno, for this is still pretty fun but if you want more excitent then we could always do that thing."
"Oh, yes that would be nice. I bet one of my brother's friends would accept doing it even if it is only with so useless rag like Aya." Sarina said, a malicious smile on her face as she approached the downed Aya and looked down at her.
It was at this point that her other friend arrived with a bucket of water.
"Why did you bring that?" Sarina asked.
"Well, I figured that since she slls bad then she should get a bath." Her friend said with the bucket of water in hand.
"You really are stupid. Don't you even know this sort of thing?" Sarina said as she pulled Aya by the hair towards one of the toilets, it's water still yellow from soone's piss that forgot to press the flush.
Aya's eyes widened seeing that and tried to pull back but Sarina was stronger than her and with a wide grim held Aya's head and said.
"THIS is how you wash losers like this girl!"
Sarina then pushed Aya's head down the toilet and pressed the flush. Aya feeling herself drown and dirty from it and she wanted to scream, but when she tried water entered her lungs and she felt her chest burning from it.
After this Sarina pulled Aya's head out of the toilet and said.
"Now thank . Thank for giving you the bath you deserve."
Aya froze in fear and Sarina's irritation flashed as she pushed Aya's head back there.
"I guess we can keep giving you a bath until you learn how to say thanks, huh?" Sarina said in anger and glee, this sensation of dominating soone else was intoxicating for her. This sensation of power over others was what felt the best for her, and for targets, none was better than Aya.
No matter what she did no one ever said a thing, the other students didn't say anything due to the fear of her older brother and the teachers and staff pretended not to see or just inford the parents about it without never taking any actual action.
Nothing ca of that, so Sarina just kept doing it since it felt right for her. As for Aya, she cursed herself for not having gone with Soma away from all this.
After this Sarina left while laughing with her friends, leaving behind Aya who stood there on the floor, wanting to sob but no tears coming out.
Slowly getting up Aya went to the sink to wash her face and hands, taking off her uniform to at least try to remove that water in it but as she did so she saw the several writings those girls put there earlier. As she looked at those she felt as if she really was dirty and she clutched her hands tighter on her uniform, before closing her eyes and keep doing what she could, removing the water from her clothes and hoping she did not sll.
At least Soma should already have gone ho by now so he wouldn't see her in this dirty of a state.
///---///
He had not gone ho.
Aya was shocked seeing this, he had stood there waiting for her for more than half an hour, all other students had already gone ho by now but he had stood there waiting.
As she approached he didn't ask what happened nor anything like that. He simply looked at her and spoke.
"If you ever want my help, just co to ."
As he said this Aya felt like screaming YES she wants his help, but how can she do that? She is... she is not worthy of the help. She would only be an inconvenience for him, she is a loser that can't do anything right and she is also all dirty. How could she possibly extend her hand to take the offered hand he was giving her?
She couldn't, and thus she didn't.
Instead, Soma went with her to rescue the kitty, taking it to the vet shop to buy a lot of things for it and she even managed to forget for a bit all her worries as she was busy shopping for cat beds and so toys for the kitten.
After saying their goodbyes Aya went back ho, her mood worsening with each step.
///---///
Dinner that day was a quiet affair. Their father was on a bad moon since he was scolded by his boss due to failing to get a contract on the firm so everyone was fearful of speaking or calling attention in any way.
After a while, Jirou spoke.
"Kana, how are your grades?"
"Yes, I am the undisputed top of class amongst the second years of Kuoh Academy." Kana said and Jirou nodded.
"Good, and did you manage to get closer to any of the richer family people from the academy." Jirou asked in interest. Just being the top of class wouldn't do if his son was to be the winner they are supposed to be in Jirou's eyes. He needs connections, to show himself as the leader they are, and for that external help would be useful.
"I am on a cordial tone with the Gremory, Shitori, and Hanakai heirs, but they are quite a bit guarded to due to not being used to males. I believe that by the end of the year I will beco at the very least close friends with them considering my efforts, but there is soone else that seems to have closer connections with one of those three families already." Kana said and that drew Jirou's attention.
"Oho, and who would that be?" Jirou asked in slight interest and Aya felt fear creeping up her spine at this conversation.
"Aya seems to have ensnared the cousin of the Hanakai heiress. He seems to have caused a commotion today due to soone treating Aya sowhat badly, they even called for to tell of the situation since they couldn't enter in contact with you since you were in your job." Kana said and Jirou put a finger on his chin.
"Interesting. Aya, it seems you finally have so use. Go and ensnare that boy by whatever ans necessary and make him a friend of Kana."
"D-Dear, please don't say that. We don't even know what sort of person this boy is, how can you tell your 14 years to do that? What if he is violent or does sothing bad to her?" Momoko said in fear, not wanting to make sothing like that at all. She might not be the best mother, but basically whoring out her daughter was sothing she didn't want to do. She wanted Aya to find happiness in the future, to leave this house and find her own way, Momoko was even saving whatever money she could to give to Aya later when she was old enough to run away. It was all she could do due to fearing running away herself, but Jirou seems to have other plans that made Momoko nauseated.
"She IS 14 years old, true, but even if the boy isn't the nicest person around it would still be fine. Do you not understand the influence of those three families? The Hanakai family is a conglorate worth several hundred million dollars! Even if the boy beats or rapes Aya, if she can make him friends with Kana it would all be worth it! We would have our futures guaranteed with that." Jirou said in excitent, missing completely the horror in Monoko's eyes and the revulsion in Aya's expression, revulsion of the thought of using the first person to be nice to her in so long in such a way.
As for Kana, well... he was not pleased by this turn of events.
///---///
"GAHH!" Aya gasped as she hit the wall of her room. Her bed was right beside the wall so she laid down there as Kana looked down at her.
"You little slut, you finally found a use for yourself huh, loser." Kana said as he looked down at Aya. She looked up at him and his face darkened seeing her eyes. "What is up with those eyes? Are you thinking yourself a winner now because you have beaten in getting in the good graces of a mber of those rich families? Huh?"
As he said this Kana took out the ropes he had prepared beforehand and tied Aya's hands behind her back tightly enough to nearly completely stop blood circulation. She winced in pain from this, trying to squirm away but was held firmly by her older brother who, after tying her, looked in ire at her as he said.
"You are still a loser, I am the winner here! You hear , I am the winner and you are the one that is not worth anything! You are the useless one, the trash, the one that is not worth anything and whose only purpose is to be my punching bag." He said as he punched her in the stomach again and again. Every hit making her cry out in pain at this as she spoke.
"Brother, stop. Please, it hurts." She pleaded, afraid she might suffer so form of permanent damage or sothing since she had learned more of the human body earlier today in class and feared she might end up with so organ damage or sothing by being hit like that.
"Huh? Are you really that stupid? Why the hell would I care if you are hurt or not?" Moving his face right to in front of her Kana looked with completely bloodshot and crazed eyes at Aya. It was eyes that he would never reveal outside when he had to act like the perfect being he believed himself to be. Only Aya could see those sort of eyes, his true emotions. "You have no idea what it is like for , how much I have to work to stay the winner. Unlike you, I have to push myself every day to my limit just to et that piece of trash we call father's expectations. You just have to contribute by helping relieve my stress, so don't go getting cocky and think you are better than just because so dumbass Hanakai paid you attention!"
By the end there Kana, as if not realizing what he was doing, moved his hands to Aya's neck and started to squeeze.
"You are the loser here who can't do anything right! Loser. Loser. Loser. LOSER! LOOOOSSSEEERRRR!" More and more he pressed until Aya could not breath, her vision going dark and she could only hear the chants of 'loser' 'loser' as she passed out, not knowing if she would wake up again or not.
It was hours later when she woke up startled, her body trembling since she could not say if she had actually died there or not from air deprivation. It was terrifying and the chants of 'loser' still echoed in her mind. Her instincts of fight or flight scread at her, but she could not fight. She was a weak teenage girl who was far from able to actually put up any sort of a fight, so she could only escape.
She had to run away, but where could she run. Where could soone dirty and a loser like her find shelter?
Her mind, scrambled and not knowing if this was reality or just a dream at this point, moved by herself. Step by step she got out of the house, it was so late that no one was on the streets but if soone was then they would think of her as a victim of **** or sothing, such was her disheveled and abused figure at this mont.
Truly, a tragic sight, and yet she kept on moving until she reached the house of soone she t only today, and still she felt had shown her more kindness than anyone had for a long, long ti.
"C-Can I sleep here? J-J-Just for tonight, please." Aya asked as she looked up with blurry eyes at Soma who had just opened the door to her. He accepted her inside instantly and her body was practically collapsing as she moved step by step, but as she walked inside this house she has never been in before she felt sothing she hasn't felt since the ti she was a small child.
She felt safe.
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