As best we could was the words that let know that despite my highest hopes and best efforts, I have never had a family in Hearstwhile. My parents have never thought I was really their daughter. Now look, it's bad enough being an imposter in soone else's life. But it hurts so much more to be revealed as that imposter. Sothing was wrapped around my heart and squeezing, driving out my breath. I should not have co here. I should not have tried this. I should have known this would not go the way I hoped. I stumbled up out of my chair, the legs clattered against the floor. My parents were both slower to rise, their faces showing surprise. "Is everything-" my father started to ask, but stopped himself. That question was too stupid to finish. Of course everything is not all right. I slashed the air with the edge of my hand, a gesture to cut off questions. "All right. I've heard enough," I told them. "I'll just deliver my ssages and be on my way. First of all: I've got this blight thing under control. In a month the infections will be rolling back. So, just, don't worry. We will need to replant, and rebuild, but the necromantic curse is not going to be reinforced, so the crops can start thriving again." "Oh thank gods," my father sighed, pressing his palms to the table. "No," I snapped. "I just told you that I would be taking care of this myself. Under control. Not the gods, not providence. You thank ." I hollowed my cheeks to keep from grinding my teeth. "If the gods needed gratitude for this they would have stepped in by now and saved the trouble. Next: there is a gap left by the adwhites, we're authorized a Lesser House. I recomnd Vuryta. There's no lich leading them. I've already checked. Maybe a good policy going forward, yes?" My tone was nasty, sharp and judgntal. I did not care. I was not in a mood to cater to anyone's comfort right this mont. Or maybe, I was hurting and I was lashing out. Who's to say? I recognize now that I did not co here to reconcile. It's years too late for that. What was going to happen? Was I going to forgive them for leaving out in the cold? I can barely stomach to forgive them for planning my future as a marriage prospect and nothing more. I could never have forgiven them for the way they shut down when I made myself unpalatable for that future. When I made my way to adwhite Castle at dinner ti, I never intended to re-forge us all into a happy family. I just wanted to confront them, to their faces, about how vastly they had failed as parents. "You..." I stopped, breathed, tried again. "Your smiles, hugs, laughter, are going to live with all my life, be that six months or a thousand thousand years. You've given the best love I could have hoped for. When you were there for , you were generous with your hearts and magnificent in your affection. And that's what made it hurt all the more when I realized I was being pushed out. That you were finding excuses to put in another room. That any reason to leave was a good enough reason." My mother winced. "So... all this ti... you really were a little girl?" That caught off guard. "S- as opposed to what?" She shrugged. "An ancient champion? An extension of the will of the gods? A sliver of destiny embodied as a human? A saint? A lich?" "Wh- no? No!" I blurted out. "None of .. those. I may have always been more than I seed, but I was only ..." I paused, conflicted. I took a deep breath, and they waited in agony while I collected myself. "I have always been sothing more, yes. But I was always, before all else, a child in need of parents. That was always the largest part of . Everything else has always been secondary." "oh." I leaned forward, my fingers splayed on the tabletop as I rested my weight there. "Listen. You are both exceptional administrators. The fact that you have kept this duchy together through such difficult tis, despite refusing to delegate to the rest of the family in any aningful way? It shows real skill. And you are both fantastic hosts and housewarrs. You are quite skilled at your various pursuits and interests. You are both quite in love and so good for each other, it is enviable, after nearly two decades married. You are resilient, adaptable, intelligent, and warm. And most importantly, you are the most genuinely benevolent and honorable rulers of any duchy in this kingdom; the degree to which you really care for the people in your kingdom is comndable. But one thing I have learned for myself: nobody is good at everything. I have sport, academics, magic, popularity, friends, prospects, arts, connections, invention and adventure. But I am not infallible; I am bad at keeping people around safe, I've never learned to befriend a horse, my handwriting is still substandard and I am laughably bad at card gas. Nobody can ever be good at everything. There must always be so capacity in which we fail. For the two of you, it is parenting. Nathan is a scoundrel and a heel. I am miserable and angry." I paused, and let out a shaky breath. "Perhaps it is for the best. The rest of those things... well, the better you are the better the outco. The best thing about being a bad parent is that sotis your children may manage to makes themselves better than you raised them to be. So it could be argued, in a way, that if you were going to let one thing slide, it might as well be child-rearing, because perhaps incompetence in that field may not matter, if the child is willing to correct their own upbringing." I watched growing horror in their eyes. They did not even feel like my parents anymore, it was like my perfect wonderful parents were painted onto a balloon and when I popped it, all that is left is these two people that are doing their best and are finding out it was never good enough. Just two people that love each other very much, but both of whom love nothing more than riding hell-for-leather over the countryside chasing a rabbit or boar to bring ho for dinner, or just watching birds or weaving tapestries, and instead they're born into a life of glitzy socializing and endlessly calculating value-added tax on grain shipnts. They would have a perfect life as a pair of peasant yeon with a pack of ill-behaved children and an herb garden. Instead, they're doing an amazing job as duke and duchess because they don't want fa, money, influence or luxuries and barely know what to do with any of those. But now the balloon is popped and I'm seeing a middle-aged couple getting told to their faces that they were bad parents. "I know we made mistakes," my mother said. Her voice was steady, but I recognized the way she was holding herself. I frequently fell back on composure I did not feel, either. "So of them terrible mistakes that never should have been made. So were ... easily overlooked mistakes made with shaful regularity. As you said. It never ca from any animosity. So of it was ignorance on our parts, and so... we were scared. But never did we wish you harm." "I know," I said, standing straight again. "I didn't say you're bad people. Rather the opposite. I admire you as leaders, I envy your marriage, and I think you both have great compassion for the lands the people you serve for. But your parenting was predicated on raising us with unconditional love for five years and then setting us down with training and tutoring and offering only very conditional love after that. It's a bad system. And I want an apology." They lit up. Hope blooming. They would apologize, I would accept their apology, that was forgiveness. My father and my mother looked at each other with stars all around, swelling violin strings, soft focus slowly racking in to a full-fra. They turned to and spoke over each other. "Of course we are sorry, we really do owe you a heartfelt apology for the way your path has turned.""I am so sorry, baby, if I had only known I never would have made the choices I did!""You deserved your chance to be a daughter first, and we were wrong to take that from you so early.""We really have no excuses, Natalie, and all we can offer is condolences now and a better sort of attention from now on!" And they were still beaming at the chance to make this better when I said "That's a start. Now, back to business." I didn't say the words. I did not exonerate them. They could tell. For the first ti, they seed to realize that all the coldness they felt washing off of was a closed door. I was not resentful because my heart was open and every emotion was pouring out. This is the hostility of a burned bridge that would not be rebuilt in our lifeti. They had spent years pushing out the door, keeping at arm's length, cutting off, cutting out. How are they still surprised when I stop acting like a daughter to them? Today I learned that they knew all along. That they knew I was impossible. Not just a strange child, a brilliant child, but a sending, a creation. They were only ever cooperating with a play-act. And that this was because the fucking goddess sent as a cot to the day he was born, after they learned there would be no twins. She picked a ti that would reveal from the beginning. She selected my entry so that my parents would always know I was a fake. Every regret and heartbreak I've suffered was part of her plan. "I'll be brief," I said. Focus now. "You both stay close to ho. Carry on as you have. Hold the duchy. I should have the pressure off your trade routes soon. If any journalists approach you or write to you, do not make statents. Especially not about your children. And extra-especially not about . We will be handling all exterior diplomacy and relations through the Hearstcliff branch relatives. Tend your ledgers, your court, and the vassals, the rest is taken care of. Berries should spring back, if you've got investnt capital maybe put it into a long-term commodity margin account on berries. Where you can, start quietly building up so barracks and repair city walls throughout the land, get the construction going but without alarming the neighbors. Treat it as a employnt project, for a stepping-stone for the regions' economy. I will warn you about future developnts in a tily fashion." I cupped my hands together in front of . "Thank you both for your hospitality. I will schedule ahead before I visit next, to avoid any conflicts." No more would I drop in on them like a welco family mber, the college daughter bringing her laundry and a lot of new stories. From now on, I approached them as the liaison to the Hearstcliff relatives to the head of the Central House. The next ti I saw them, the coldness would be mutual. I locked my heart against them first, but after this they were just as closed away to as well. Just business.Support the creativity of authors by visiting for this novel and more.I was back in ti for cards, and my dress tonight was a red-and-white piece with a bloom of wired lace at the wrists and decolletage. dangling with tiny beads of glittering crystal like drops of ice. And instead of the billowy skirt that was so normal as to be entirely universal, I was wearing a rmaid skirt that hugged my thighs and had a knee-high slit. Calves. Scandalous. It was a very elegant look, like an orchid or a lily with a bit of frost on the petals, but I've never worn this style of skirt before so I had to use just a bit of flight to keep my balance as elegant and composed as it was supposed to be. I drifted in and there were murmurs, covert stares. Top student. Camogie killer. Seditious princess. an girl, adventurer, inventor, composer. Or sotis just that bitch. Implicated in several deaths and disappearances around the campus. And now, fashion trendsetter. The seat across next to Elica was empty, and I walked between gaming tables towards it. Gaboards, shuffleboard, billiard baize, other amusents all about but there was a pause, a dimming. Maybe so of them are warily watching to make sure I won't attack them unawares. Maybe so are watching to see if I will attack the unwary. So may admire or desire . I don't care, as long as they're paying attention. The empty seat next to Elica slid out, and I moved to it with feet that never quite touched the ground. I sat, and scooted in, and the volu picked up around the room. There was a mont of surreal transition, like traveling across different altitudes so your ears pop. That was what it was like when I sat down: a shift of pressure in the air. I recently leveled up, rather quietly. Helping Kimothy with so target practice had advanced his affection quest just a bit, enough to push over the edge to eighth level. And I moved my Charisma up to 6. Between advancing levels, in-class training and camogie practice paying off, my stats are looking good these days. [ Natalie Harigold ] [ Level 8 Sorceress ] [ Rival ][ Strength 10 ][ Stamina 8 ][ Intellect 11 ][ Charisma 6 ][ HP: 15/15 ][ MP: 18/18 ]
[ Disguise 2, Awareness 5 ]
"That's a very daring dress," Elica said snippily. Scandalized by my calf. "You're looking at it wrong," I said. "While I'm in flight, this style is a lot more modest than a bell dress or petticoats." Larianne smirked at . "You've got that 'cat that murdered the canary' look again." "You must be mistaken, I have not killed anyone all day," I said, then paused, and considered. "Actually, not for a few weeks now." "Well we all admire your restraint," Larianne said flippantly. Vancy was scooted back and looking up and down. "That really does look like a very modest way to fly. But it's so racy! It hugs your hips and legs, and -" "And nothing," I said. "Everyone knows that I have legs. I bare them for the sport field every day. This dress is more than modest and more than concealing. I just got tired of rustling around my legs, all that movent." "Probably best that you try out new looks here with us rather than taking them out to a social event for the first ti," Elica said. "Now then, we're dealing in. No wilds, no draws." I took my two hole cards, peeked at them, and then watched the first round of bets. Elica spoke up while she turned the first card. "So, Lady Natalie, you were gone for a couple of hours and ca back looking like soone had eaten your howork or whatever makes valedictorians like you mad. Where'd you go?" "Ho," I said levelly. I wasn't even channeling anything to suppress my emotions, that has to be a good sign. "My parents." For so reason this provoked an awkward silence around the table, all three of them darting glances at each other. Vancy cleared her throat a little. "So, like, you're not avoiding them anymore?" "I think once a year is plenty," I said mildly. Elica nodded sagely, Vancy looked at with worry and sympathy, but Larianne actually recoiled, hand to her mouth as if to hold in a startled outcry. Her eyes were round with shock and dismay, but she wiped it away to return to her cool and undisturbed facade. "Do you think you'll be all right?" Vancy asked quietly. She glanced at the cards. "Um. Call." "I blew up so much stuff recently," I said with a wistful sigh. "It's going to take more than one set of parents trying to replace while my back is turned to ruin my mood." Vancy looked confused now. "Do- do you have- ?" "No, I don't have more than one set of parents," I laughed the question away. Elica gave a strange look, like she sohow did not believe but did not know what to say about it. Like maybe my face wasn't entirely honest but she was not sure what that could an. Vancy just looked relieved that I don't have two sets of parents because obviously I could not have been born and had a childhood twice, right, ha ha? "Well, at least you'll have that whole thing next week to take your mind off of it. I know how much you like your plans and stuff, and this is a big one!" "Yes, and thank you," I said. "Honestly, if you see getting thoughtful or maudlin or just getting too quiet this week, would you please remind about that? I really do appreciate a good distraction from my emotional problems, and adventure and intrigue are a great way to distract ." I tapped the table to signal my check, and we moved to the next turn of the cards. Elica paused. "Hm. In that case.. sorry, I have really not been paying attention to your drama lately. What is going on this next weekend?" "I finally pull the receipts on Freckentop," I chortled eagerly. "I'm gonna grab a dozen magisters, kill a necromancer, and uncover the evidence linking this whole debacle back to the royal family. Big feather in my cap, honestly." "Ah," she said. "Well, that certainly sounds destabilizing to the current political climate. Have fun ruining it, I guess. Raise five," she dropped chips into the center. Larianne snorted. "At this point, having the evidence would be a stabilizing influence. The unsupported allegations have been keeping things precarious for months." Elica shrugged. "A matter of perspective. My family aligns with the Dominionist faction, so for us stability is a strong Freckentop rulership. Not to say better, just more stable," she said, forestalling my objections. She had seen out the corner of her eye that I was about to say sothing clever and interrupted instead. Then back to Larianne, "Whereas all you Ebonder folks with your Independent faction have been teeter-tottering over which way this is going to shake out. So it's all about where you're standing and how you define stability. , I'm not overly worried about it. My family is not fixated on faction affairs anyway, and I'm hardly servant to my family's fixations anyway." Cool. Great to know that once I start tearing this kingdom down brick by brick I won't be inconveniencing Lady Earl Elica Dandston particularly.
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