In a secluded corner of Konoha Ninja Academy, Obito Uchiha felt his stomach drop. He pressed his back against the wall as Youyu staggered toward him, swaying slightly with a bottle in one hand and a sword in the other.
"Youyu... w-what are you doing?" Obito stamred, already regretting every decision that had led him to this mont. He had genuinely thought his suffering was over. There had been no surprise ambushes lately, no sudden sword swings. He had dared to believe that maybe—just maybe—Youyu had grown bored of tornting him. But here they were again.
"Relax... relax..." Youyu slurred, eyes half-lidded and unfocused. "Today's special. I've made the perfect preparations. A 999-gold drop! Guaranteed high-level loot!"
Obito had no idea what that ant, but it sounded horrifying.
"Youyu, I swear, I didn't do anything!" He raised his hands in surrender, hoping to talk his way out of whatever insanity was about to unfold.
"You think I don't know that?" Youyu scoffed. "That's the problem! I've cut you so many tis and gotten nothing! I thought about it... and I figured it out!"
"You... figured out what?"
"I wasn't drunk enough."
Obito's stomach twisted. That was the worst possible answer.
"Youyu, we're here!"
Hope surged in Obito's chest as he turned toward the source of the voice. Rin Nohara and Kurenai Yuhi approached, and for a brief mont, he thought he had been saved.
"Rin! You ca to rescue !" Tears of relief welled in his eyes, his suffering finally at an end.
Rin tilted her head in confusion. "Ah? No, you misunderstood, Obito." She smiled sweetly. "Youyu asked to be here. He was worried that if he got too drunk, he might actually kill you."
Obito blinked, his relief shattering like glass. "What?!"
"I've been learning dical ninjutsu, so I can patch you up after he's done."
His soul left his body.
Kurenai clasped her hands together, forming a seal. The world blurred around Obito, colors twisting in unnatural patterns as a heavy fog settled over his mind.
"A genjutsu?" he realized with mounting horror.
They had planned for this. They had prepared for this exact mont.
This wasn't a random drunken attack.
This was a coordinated operation.
"Youyu, go a little lower. If you cut too high, you'll miss the best loot!" Rin instructed, adjusting Youyu's arm.
"Ah, right, right," Youyu muttered, nodding in drunken agreent.
"Youyu, keep it within three centiters of depth. Any more, and the respawn tir might get too long," Kurenai added.
Obito was in hell.
"You guys are insane!" he whimpered, his voice breaking.
"Shh, don't move!" Rin chided, tapping his forehead. "If you keep squirming, Youyu might miss the mark."
"I—I didn't even move!"
"You're breathing too loudly. It's distracting ," Youyu grumbled, shifting his grip on his sword.
"You're the one who's swaying!" Obito shouted, panic rising.
"Alright, ti to roll the dice!" Youyu grinned and raised his sword.
A mont later, the sound of steel slicing through fabric rang through the air.
Obito scread.
Rin tapped her chin. "Huh... this cut seems a little off."
"You missed the loot again?" Kurenai sighed.
Youyu frowned, shaking his head. "Why the hell do I keep getting nothing?!"
Obito, clutching his left arm, let out a strangled sob. His sleeve had been sliced clean off, and a thin but deep cut ran along his arm.
"WHY IS IT ALWAYS ?!"
"Alright, I'm done here," Youyu muttered, flicking the blood off his blade before sheathing it. "Rin, patch him up. I gotta drink more—clearly, I wasn't drunk enough."
Obito nearly collapsed.
"Patch him up?" Kurenai smirked. "He's covered in bandages already. He's basically a mummy at this point."
"You should be grateful, Obito," Rin reassured him while applying fresh bandages. "I'm getting a lot of dical ninjutsu practice thanks to you!"
"WHY WOULD THAT MAKE GRATEFUL?!"
Youyu stretched, sighing. "No rewards again... maybe next ti, I should go a little deeper?"
Obito turned white.
"NO. NO MORE NEXT TI. WE'RE DONE. THIS IS OVER. FOREVER!"
"Yeah, yeah," Youyu waved dismissively, already staggering away with Rin and Kurenai at his sides.
Obito dropped to his knees, staring blankly ahead. "It's over... it's finally over..."
The other students carefully avoided eye contact as they passed, afraid to even acknowledge what they had just witnessed.
Obito sat there for a long ti, hugging his knees, waiting for his soul to return to his body.
At the front of the classroom, Tanaka cleared his throat, forcing a smile that barely hid his growing exhaustion. "...And that concludes today's lesson."
The class remained silent. All eyes flickered to Youyu.
He was snoring.
Tanaka exhaled slowly, resisting the urge to collapse onto his desk. He had made a mistake—a huge mistake.
For a brief mont, he had genuinely believed that Youyu was getting better.
He had dared to think that things were stabilizing. That he could finally regain so authority in his own classroom.
Then he saw Obito, freshly bandaged, slumped in his chair like a broken man.
Tanaka had never been more wrong in his life.
His gaze shifted back to Youyu, watching the empty bottle roll out of his sleeve and hit the floor.
His hands trembled. He couldn't do this anymore.
"Um... Kurenai, Rin, can you wake him up?"
The girls exchanged looks before Rin stepped forward and gently shook his shoulder.
"Youyu-kun," she whispered.
A loud snore was her only response.
Kurenai sighed, leaning closer.
"...There's sake in the teacher's lounge."
Youyu's eyes snapped open imdiately.
"Who?! Where?!" He shot up, fully alert.
Rin chuckled. "Class is over, Youyu."
He yawned, stretched, and pulled another bottle from his sleeve.
Obito scread.
"YOU'RE DRINKING AGAIN?!"
"Of course," Youyu scoffed. "I gotta train."
"HOW IS THAT TRAINING?!"
The classroom emptied fast.
Everyone who valued their limbs and internal organs got out of there before Youyu got any ideas.
Tanaka buried his face in his hands.
He needed a vacation.
Author's Notes:Word Count: 1,022
Obito has permanent trauma.
Rin sees this as dical training.
Kurenai is 100% enabling this.
Tanaka thought he could reclaim his authority. He was wrong.
Youyu's drunken logic remains undefeated.
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