Sowhere atop the floating isle of Peachblossom Ascension, petals danced in the wind, music floated like soft mist, and love was quite literally in the air.
It was ti for the Divine Matchmaking Festival—where cultivators from every sect, rank, and realm ca together to forge fateful bonds, exchange heartfelt spiritual tokens... or simply flirt over mooncakes under moonlight.
There were lanterns in the skies. Laughter in the air. And Lin Fan... in a bush.
"I shouldn’t be here," he muttered, gripping a crumpled invitation he definitely stole from soone else.
Beside him, the old man nodded solemnly. "Correct."
"And yet... I must be here. For love. For justice. For—"
"For stalking Hei Long and Yinyin again."
Lin Fan put on his fake beard, love-thed talisman robe, and heart-shaped mask.
He now looked like a creepy spirit uncle who’d forgotten what personal space was.
"Ti to beco... Master Crimson Bloom, professional matchmaker and definitely not Lin Fan."
"You know you look like soone whose love letters get reported to the Sect Elders, right?"
But it was too late.
Inside the festival courtyard, cultivators swirled in dances of light and sound. Matchmaking booths lined the edges, each hosted by a sect. A central pond shimred with glowing lotus petals. Above it all floated the Mirror of Amorous Fate—an ancient relic said to show your destined partner... and your romantic ranking among all attendees.
People lined up eagerly, laughing, blushing, cheering.
Lin Fan swaggered into the queue, doing finger guns at a passing girl.
She scread and fled.
"Perfect. They suspect nothing," he said confidently.
The old man facepald so hard he left a bruise.
As Lin Fan approached the Mirror, it pulsed with rose-colored light.
"State thy na," it intoned in a regal, flirty voice.
"Master Crimson Bloom," Lin Fan declared. "Fad alchemist of love and—"
"Scanned. Identity detected: LIN FAN. Sect: Unwanted Fla. Romantic Record: 0 wins, 34 delusions."
Lin Fan paled.
The crowd whispered.
"That’s Lin Fan?!"
"Didn’t he try to break up a spiritual wedding with a chicken feather?"
"Is he wearing a glue-on beard?!"
"Did he just cry?"
Lin Fan straightened up, sweat dripping under his mask.
"Just—just show my match."
The Mirror shimred. Then bood:
"NO MATCH FOUND.""BUT YOU HAVE BEEN AWARDED: MOST LIKELY TO DIE ALONE."
Confetti exploded above his head.
A crown of wilted rose stems appeared. The words "Forever Alone Emperor" lit up behind him in dancing fla letters.
Children pointed and laughed.
Even the love pigeons flew in a heart shape around him... then turned it into a question mark.
Lin Fan scread.
anwhile, from a nearby pavilion, Hei Long and Lan Yinyin watched calmly as the scene unfolded.
Lan Yinyin sipped spiritual punch. "He wore a fake beard again."
Hei Long, stone-faced: "He used that sa disguise to try to crash our engagent dinner."
"...Do you think we’re enabling him?"
"No. I think we’re watching karma in real ti."
She giggled. "I should thank that Mirror."
Hei Long pulled out a tiny jade carving—an exact replica of the Mirror, smug expression and all.
Lan Yinyin blinked. "You... made a statue of it?"
"I respect its accuracy."
Back in the courtyard, Lin Fan fled behind a dumpling stall, muttering darkly.
"I will have my revenge. I will break that mirror. I will burn down the booth. I will—"
The Mirror floated over and bood gently:
"You also scored second place in: ’Most Likely To Fall In Love With A Rock Out Of Desperation.’"
"AAAAAAA!"
Following the catastrophic Mirror Incident, Lin Fan returned to his makeshift alchemical hut behind the Sect Outhouses—also known as The Departnt of Forbidden Romance Artifacts and Regrettable Life Choices.
He flung down an armful of rejected matchmaking tokens—small spiritual trinkets left behind by the heartbroken, the ghosted, and the "we were just sparring partners" types.
"This," Lin Fan declared to the empty room (and a frog who looked deeply unimpressed), "is the key to destroying love itself."
"Ribbit," said the frog.
Lin Fan began drawing ancient anti-bonding runes across the floor using powdered heartbreak dust (which was mostly just chalk mixed with tearwater), and laid out the tokens in a circle.
From his sleeve, he withdrew a scroll labeled "Reverse Love Curse: Plan D (For Divorce)".
According to legend (probably made up by Lin Fan five minutes ago), if one gathered enough abandoned tokens and combined them with bitter intention under moonlight, one could forge a Rift in Romantic Fate.
Unfortunately, the moon that night was a Spiraling Spirit Moon, known for twisting spell intent into chaotic mischief.
Lin Fan struck the formation with spiritual lightning.
The tokens glowed. The runes shimred. The frog scread.
And then the ground exploded.
When the smoke cleared, the only thing standing untouched in the center... was a tree.
A beautiful tree.
Glowing with spiritual light, radiant bark, leaves that shimred in seven hues—it looked like a divine being had taken root.
Lin Fan blinked. "...That’s not what I ant to summon."
From around the forest clearing, people began to gather.
The first was a disciple from Peach Valley Sect. "Whoa... this tree... she’s beautiful."
Then ca a rogue cultivator. "He. The tree has strong, stoic energy. Like a silent protector."
More followed.
By morning, thirty-one cultivators were camped around the tree, writing poetry, composing songs, offering fruit, reciting sonnets.
Soone put a scarf on it.
Another painted eyes and a smile on the bark.
Soone built a swing.
Hei Long received the report while sipping tea.
He looked up from the scroll:
"Lin Fan has created a love idol out of a tree. It’s... now the most eligible being in three provinces."
He calmly packed a fruit basket.
Yinyin blinked. "You’re sending a gift?"
"Respect must be paid to the competition."
"...You’re not worried it’ll replace you?"
Hei Long looked at her. "It’s a tree."
Yinyin: "A very attractive tree, apparently."
Hei Long: "It doesn’t have legs. I win."
anwhile, Lin Fan stared blankly at the crowd around his accidental love tree.
"This was supposed to break love."
Soone next to him sighed dreamily. "It broke the walls of my heart."
Another disciple was painting "I
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