Chapter 71: Things That Don't Change
I'm Kousuke, Kousuke Saito.
Since I spent both days of the cultural festival break completely holed up at ho, I feel like I've been left behind by the world, like I've been out of the loop the whole ti.
After parting ways with Yukari-san, I ca ho, cried a little, spaced out, got angry, zoned out again, and kept looping through those states.
But, maybe because I went through this half a year ago, it's not as bad as last ti.
...Maybe it's also because we weren't together that long.
First Satsuki, now I've been betrayed by Yukari-san...
Anger, emptiness, suspicion, all sorts of emotions swirl inside .
Satsuki too, but why?
Even though we said we loved each other and I felt love, why does it all change like this?
...I really need to get better at judging girls... No, at really seeing what's inside. ...But I probably want to stay away from girls for a while.
The cultural festival probably still lingers at school, so I'll probably see Yukari Tomonaga, aka Miss Hokusho.
But I don't need to run or avoid her.
I need to go to school with my head held high. Don't let myself lose heart!
I steel myself and head to school.
...If I don't psych myself up, the discomfort and bad mood get so bad I just can't function...
I pass through the gate and head to the main entrance,
*pon*
Nagase: "Morning! Kousuke-kun! ...How are you? ...Wait, of course you're not okay, right?"
As always, Nagase-san is cheerful and outgoing... Yeah, honestly, she's scary.
"...M-morning."
I inch away from her.
Nagase: "...Well, it can't be helped. Let's go to class?"
Nagase-san is the type of girl who tends to get physically close to people.
I gradually put so distance between us.
Nagase: "...Are you avoiding or sothing? ...Did I do sothing?"
Nagase-san's face clouds with anxiety, her eyes dark and dull. It's fine, it's fine... Yeah, it's really not fine.
She sits next to , and we talk a lot.
I decided to be honest here and talk to her.
Do you have a little ti? Hm?
I walk with Nagase-san, taking a roundabout route, and though it's embarrassing, I talk about myself.
...In the end, ever since I entered Hokusho, I feel like I always end up telling Nagase-san everything.
About Satsuki, and though it was a bit late, even about Yukari-san.
"I'm scared of girls... Ever since Satsuki dumped . Things got a little better after I started hanging out with Yukari-san, but... it seems like it's co back again... So, I want you to physically keep so distance from ."
Nagase: "Huh?! Do you like boys then?"
"...No. Please don't."
Back in middle school, Obata-san, my classmate, loved that kind of stuff and imdiately started fantasizing about it...
Nagase-san listens, nodding, then gives a little smile,
Nagase: "Well, just take it easy for now, okay? You'll get better bit by bit. ...If you want, I can help you get used to girls?"
Haha, I'll pass for now.
I put a little distance between us as we walk and arrive at the classroom.
Hah, it really feels like it's been a while since a normal class...
...?
There's sothing in my desk?
Hm?
It's a photo.
A photo of Yukari-san and Kuzu entering a love hotel...!
And another one... a photo of them leaving the love hotel?!
So they already went that far...?!
The date was written on it, and it was the day before the cultural festival.
Again, seriously?!
Nagase: "Kousuke-kun? Are you okay? You look pale."
"...I'm fine."
My friends Koji and Hiroshi were also super worried about .
No matter what, I'm going to focus on class!
I refuse to skip or leave early over sothing like this!
I never want anyone to think I was affected by getting dumped like that and NTR'd!
The frustration and desire not to lose made even quieter.
But I really wasn't okay, and sohow I got through the day, but my body felt so heavy...
Today, I told Koji I'm skipping club activities, apologized to Nagase-san for worrying her, and went ho.
Back ho, I flopped down in my room.
Why did things have to change? I've accepted the result, but I still keep thinking about it until I doze off.
Nozomi: "Kousuke-kun? Kousuke-nii-chan?"
From outside the window, I hear the voice of my best friend's little sister, Nozomi, whom I also spoil like a little sister...
Our house is right in front of the middle school, and with the light on in my room, she must have known I was ho...
I'm sleepy, and honestly, this is a little annoying... I don't want her to see like this...
Sorry, but this ti I decided to just ignore her.
*piron!*
LINE, from Nozomi
"Co out here for a sec!"
Read but ignored.
*Piron!*
"Don't leave on read."
Read but ignored.
Seriously, she's still just a kid, she can't read the room...
Maybe she heard about ... from soone?
If that's the case, I really don't want to see her even more...
Once I'm back to normal, I'll give her so snacks or sothing, so just leave alone for now.
*Bang!*
What the?!
*Bang!*
The window? What's going on at my window?!
Nozomi is laughing her head off while banging a ball against my second-floor window—?!
I can't help but yell,
"Nozomi! What are you doing?!"
Nozomi, still giggling,
Nozomi: "You finally ca out! Co down! Look, look!"
What the heck is with this wild animal...!
Ever since she was little, my little sister figure has always been unpredictable.
When I go down from my second-floor room, Nozomi is there.
I want to complain,
"What is it, did you hear sothing from soone?"
Nozomi: "Huh? About what?"
That's anticlimactic. Looks like Nozomi didn't know anything about it.
...Yeah, I guess my problems are pretty small in the grand sche of things.
After making a confused face, Nozomi beams with a big smile,
and shows off her racket!
Nozomi: "Kousuke-kun! Look! My older brother bought this for with his paycheck yesterday! Isn't it aweso? It's a fifty-thousand-yen racket! That's why hitting the ball at your window was a piece of cake!"
*For more, see the main story, Chapter 256: Big Brother, Crepes, and a Racket
"You never do anything good, do you..."
I'm already used to this wild beast, so I just grumble honestly.
Nozomi: "Ta-dah! The sportswear I'm wearing, too! Kashii-senpai picked it out! Isn't it cute♪"
Nozomi spins around, spreads her arms wide, and gives a bright smile.
It's a tennis outfit with a light purple mini-skirt as the main feature.
Her legs look long and beautiful... Are they actually long and beautiful?
If she stayed like this, she'd be a really cute girl... right?
Now that she's a second-year in middle school, she's started to seem a bit more grown-up.
Legs that used to look like sticks have gotten a bit rounder, with a more feminine shape...
Well, she's still totally flat-chested, though.
Wait, she's like a little sister, you know?
Nozomi: "Hehe! Kousuke-kun, were you totally chard? I'm such a dangerous woman!"
"That's a cri!"
I'm serious, okay? She really did attack the guys who bullied her big brother once, you know?
*See the main story for details.
Nozomi looked at my face and asked seriously,
Nozomi: "Kousuke-kun, did sothing bad happen?"
Before I knew it, I said,
"...Yeah. Girls are really hard to figure out, aren't they?"
Nozomi nods repeatedly—wait, are you counting yourself as a girl?
Nozomi: "Kousuke-kun, I think you should go out with a girl who's known you for a long ti... Like, soone you've known since you were a kid..."
After saying what she wanted, Nozomi said, "Back to practice! I just wanted to show you!" and ran off with a whoosh!
Sho must have just whipped out his paycheck and bought it for her, huh?
She was so happy, she wanted to show .
So things change, and so things stay the sa.
That night, maybe Nozomi told Sho.
Or maybe Tanaka-kun heard I left early, because he ca over to my house that night.
I have best friends, regular friends, and even girls who are like family.
It's okay—I'll not only bounce back, I'll get even stronger, learn more, and turn this into sothing to laugh about.
So, where should I start talking?
I was sad and frustrated, but seeing my best friend get even angrier or sadder or more frustrated than would probably help calm down.
I can recover quickly.
I just had a feeling like that.
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