The man’s calm tone carried a faint sense of lancholy and longing.
Zhu Yourong released his sleeve from her grasp beneath her, the Jade Hand imdiately reaching forward, seemingly unable to resist the urge to hold onto sothing...
Then finally, the Jade Hand beneath the sleeve gradually paused when it faintly felt the warm temperature of his hand through the air.
The woman in the Confucian robe did not imdiately withdraw the Jade Hand, but instead, she softly lifted an index finger and gently tapped the back of Zhao Rong’s hand with the pad of her finger.
"And what happened after that?" Her voice was gentle.
"After that... I was slamd hard by life." He nodded, "Then I thought about heading north to return the jade to Qing Jun before heading south to see Qian’er. Later on the road, I t a silly fox spirit nad Su Xiaoxiao, brought her to the Lonely City, then at the North Sea, Qing Jun snatched away the token jade pendant, and I haven’t been able to get it back ever since. Then I entered Linlu Academy and t you... Then I realized that you all were here, my attachnts were here, and I gradually stopped. It seems like step by step, I’ve sowhat forgotten what I initially wanted."
Zhao Rong’s gaze was distant and vague.
Zhu Yourong murmured, "So, this is the kind of life you initially wanted."
"Actually, it’s not really the initial thought; it’s just... the way of life I very much wanted in this life when I set out."
Zhu Yourong didn’t understand the aning of the three words ’this life’ in his sentence, only assuming that Zhao Rong had other dreams in the past.
Zhao Rong looked at the gentle female teacher who listened to his words attentively and suddenly said:
"Yourong, have you ever thought... maybe every person has more than one life, and after we close our eyes and die, perhaps we’ll open our eyes again, and then see a new world, new family, new way of life..."
"Wh... what do you an?"
He seed a little bewildered, as if talking to himself or confessing, murmuring, "Like a bizarre dream, one after another, you encounter new lives, your thoughts and views completely change, now this dream I’m in the Xuanhuang Realm, and the next one might be in a blue..."
Zhu Yourong thought for a mont, then her expression suddenly changed, as if realizing sothing.
"Ziyu, you an... the afterlife? You think there is an ’afterlife’?"
Zhao Rong nodded silently.
Zhu Yourong imdiately beca serious: "Ziyu, did you read so strange forbidden book, why do you have such eerie and bizarre thoughts? And be honest with , this morning in the bamboo courtyard, you said to that you don’t need the Immortal dicine, and even think using it is a waste..."
The Jade Hand under her sleeve suddenly clenched into a fist, "Is it also because of this? You feel life holds no interest, and want to welco the so-called afterlife?!"
Zhao Rong looked at her anxious and worried face, pursed his lips, then smiled and shook his head, "It’s not as exaggerated as you say, just idle thinking, not foolish enough to commit suicide... But the afterlife, it could possibly exist, of course, who knows..."
"You haven’t answered my previous question yet." The woman was unexpectedly stubborn.
Zhao Rong had no choice but to nod, "It’s not entirely because of that, but indeed, the current life is not what I initially wanted, and things like Immortal dicine don’t hold much attraction for , it feels like... living too long without aning, one becos just a walking dead. And so people, even if they die, but their will persists, then they are also always alive... So whether or not there is Immortal dicine, what difference does it make?"
Seeing that he didn’t have thoughts of ending his life, Zhu Yourong’s expression softened a bit.
She bit her lip, quieted down, and contemplated Zhao Rong’s words.
Then she couldn’t help but say, "So all this you an is, the people you et now are all not interesting enough, not worth you taking Immortal dicine to stay with them longer?"
Zhu Yourong, with a slight dissatisfaction, retorted Zhao Rong, yet her tone remained gentle, more like a playful chide than a reprimand.
Any man who ets such a good listener and understanding gentle female teacher would probably feel nurtured by a soothing spring breeze, feeling relaxed.
Zhao Rong was no exception.
He felt that even after revealing so hidden and oppressive things in his heart, he still felt quite relaxed.
"No, it’s not."
He shook his head, softly saying, "eting you all, knowing you all, is the greatest fortune for , Ziyu, but..."
The man paused for a mont, then seed to realize sothing,
"Yet the current is unworthy of having it."
He seed to have found the root of all his current problems and doubts.
Zhao Rong suddenly lifted his head, his tone increasingly assured:
"Yourong, I understand now, it’s my own cultivation that is not enough, I have Qing Jun, Xiaoxiao, Qian’er... these are the most outstanding and delightful won in the world, yet I haven’t lived the life I want.
"Just like now, I’m at ho with Qing Jun and Qian’er, they are so kind to , but I’m especially frustrated being with them, I know why I’m frustrated, I shouldn’t have let them beco like this, losing their innate spirituality, they were supposed to be... charming and lovable won with spirit, which man doesn’t love that... and yet now because of , they’ve wasted their most precious spirit and pri ti."
Zhu Yourong suddenly interrupted: "Ziyu, are you belittling and doubting yourself? Thinking you’re unworthy of them?"
Zhao Rong nodded and then shook his head, "Not really, we like each other, there’s no saying of unworthy, just that now, my cultivation isn’t enough to make them better."
"If my cultivation was good enough, I would surely influence them, make them better, rather than having them offend you like they did yesterday, causing the whole household to be in chaos."
Hearing what seed to be a point argued rationally, Zhu Yourong knitted her brows in silence, not responding for a mont.
But Zhao Rong, the more he talked, the more freely he spoke, at this mont nodded quite affirmatively:
"It’s my mismanagent of the household, and it’s not Qing Jun or Qian’er to bla, they’ve been training in swordsmanship since young, as pure sword practitioners, they haven’t read much, how would they understand grand principles, just following the laws of the land and family rules, petty jealousy and being sensitive and fragile are normal instincts all ordinary won have, how can we expect Qing Jun and Qian’er to easily transcend these realms?"
"The problem lies with , I’m the husband, the one who can most influence them, but my cultivation isn’t sufficient to set a leading example and inspire them, instead leading this ho into this current state..."
Zhao Rong suddenly laughed, as if he finally understood.
"This is the real cause of my frustration."
He lifted his hand to rub his face heartily, his smile radiant, "So that’s how it is."
Zhu Yourong furrowed her brows, hesitantly saying, "Well... if that’s your thinking, it’s not unacceptable, as long as it isn’t a heartless mindset that makes you fickle..."
Zhao Rong nodded, "So I thought... to go out for a walk, travel around seriously, and cultivate myself well!"
Zhu Yourong, with her willow-like eyes glaring, imdiately vetoed, "No! Self-reflection and self-cultivation are fine, but you can’t just wander off!"
Zhao Rong slightly frowned, "But..."
"No buts!"
Zhu Yourong was firm, waving her hand, "Ziyu, wait a mont, let think it through."
She lowered her head, furrowed her brow in thought for a while, then at a certain mont, raised her head solemnly:
"Ziyu, the biggest problem you’re facing now isn’t self-cultivation, it’s... managing the household!"
"Managing the household?"
Zhao Rong frowned even more, yet the woman in the Confucian robe nodded resolutely.
...
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