Chapter 15 - Elderly Man Donated His Savings to Vtuber Because She Committed a Federal Cri
DING
[You have acquired a new trait, Boarish Stamina!]
[The trait will now register on your status nu.]
* * *
Na: Parita Kestrel
Age: 22
Class: Vtuber Idol
Level: 0
Strength: 30
Fitness: 11
Magic: 24
Singing: 1
Dancing: 1
Charm: 7
System Features:
- Inventory System: Level 2
- Livestream System: Level 1
Traits:
- Boarish Stamina
* * *
Parita snorted, but she accidentally made a pig’s snort noise. Her antics were captured live, and everybody in the guild could hear them.
The chat went crazy.
Sars: ’Did she just OINK!?’
Dentia: ’OINK?!’
Herpes: ’Is that an elf or a pig?!’
Lice: ’Pig elf?’
Itai-Itai: ’PIG SNORT!?’
Parita’s eyes widened. Her face reddened in sha as she screeched.
"I ain’t no pig, you bum!!"
Cholera: ’That ans you’re a pig.’
Sars: ’I am not no pig? That ans you’re a pig.’
Lice: ’Pig elf!’
Tectonitis: ’FAT ELF!’
DING
[Tectonitis has been banned for 7 days.]
Parita facepald. She regretted growing up in the States and absorbed their speech patterns.
While Parita regretted everything in her life, a loud noise and a flashy system ssage flashed. Soone dropped a Super Chat.
DING
= Lupus, Level 87, Non-mber =
= 1 G =
["Where are you right now? Do you feel any pain in your chest or sense any change in your body? That at is poisonous, you know?"]
Parita’s mood improved upon reading the considerate ssage. She grinned for the cara and made a victory sign.
"I’m perfectly fine, actually. As long as you get rid of all the blood in the at and cook it properly, it is edible."
DING
= Lupus, Level 87, Non-mber =
= 1 G =
["That’s good, but we need to talk. Instigating and tempting people to eat monster at is a cri, you know?"]
"...Shit."
Parita’s smile froze. She started sweating.
"Will I go to jail?"
DING
= Lupus, Level 87, Non-mber =
= 1 G =
["As long as you co to town and report to directly."]
Parita smiled wryly. She sensed trouble ahead. Still, Parita believed she had to cooperate. Otherwise, the townspeople might shun her.
"Fine. I’ll visit the town tomorrow morning... no, two days later. I need to clean this goddamn house first."
DING
= Lupus, Level 87, Non-mber =
= 1 G =
["Good. Also, if you run into a Hunger and kill it again, you can call our people to get rid of the corpse for you. Do not touch it, or you’ll be bloodscorched."]
"...Okay. By the way, thank you for the super chats."
Being wary of the local laws and culture, Parita waved her hand at the cara. She muttered.
"Ah, well. Since I got called out, I have to end the stream early. Thank you for watching my impromptu cooking session. BYE!"
The thought of her arrest made her shudder. Parita pressed the end-stream button. The chat nu and OBS screen were closed.
DING
[You have finished livestreaming a cooking session.]
[You have received 10 Idol Points.]
[Five gold coins have been deposited into your inventory.]
The daily quest rewards weren’t as exciting as they were the other day. Parita was slightly disappointed with her inco. She finished her breakfast, cleaned the tools, and resud her housecleaning job.
* * *
Afternoon, Sparrow and her crew returned. They stord into the mansion and found Parita, who was in the middle of deep-cleaning the second floor.
"KESTREL! STAY WHERE YOU ARE!" Sparrow shouted and locked Parita’s shoulders from behind.
Parrot used her mana to examine the housekeeper, Parita. Goldfinch and others likewise grasped Parita’s arms and legs, examining them for signs of any mutation. However, nobody found anything unusual.
Parrot didn’t give up. She pried Parita’s eyes open and inspected her pupils. However, nothing seed unusual.
"...She’s clean," Parrot concluded their inspection.
Sparrow released Parita. She complained. "What were you thinking?! Did you have a dying wish?! Why did you eat Hunger’s at?"
Parita smiled faintly and countered. "I was hungry. No pun intended."
"The monster at is CURSED! CURSED, I say! What if you get bloodscorched?!"
"As long as I cook it thoroughly and I don’t touch its blood, I’ll be fine."
"No, you are not fine! If the nobles hear of this, your neck will be under a guillotine!"
"..."
Being reminded of the aristocrats of this world, Parita recalled her Isekai Guidebook’s rules.
* * *
Step #10: Nobles are landmines! Do not get involved! Do not high-five the crown prince! Don’t be prettier than a princess! Don’t be seen by a spoiled fat f*ck.
Step #11: If you encounter a noble, smile and try to remain unnoticed, but be extra careful. Smile too little = death. Smile too pretty = marriage. Smile too wide = witch trial. Smile too much = psych ward.
* * *
Realizing how deadly noblen of a dieval world could be, Parita sweated profusely. She nodded, admitting her fault.
"Sorry."
Everybody sighed. Sparrow warned her. "What’s done is done. Don’t go around showing off that you can eat monster at. If you want to eat it, do it quietly in the kitchen."
"...Okay."
"Anyway." Sparrow grinned widely and gestured for Parita to follow her. "We got the bounty. Co, take a look."
"Oh?"
Parita followed the crowd to the lobby, where everybody had dropped the gold chest. They opened the container and showed their helper the treasure.
In the hall, gold coins glead, reflecting the flickering dance of the candlelight. Parita stared at the rich in a daze.
"It’s yours now. Take it to your room. We make sure nobody embezzles it." Parrot smirked.
"...T-thanks."
"What do you want to buy with those coins? A new house? A slave? So legendary bows?"
Parita paused to think. She hadn’t explored shops in this world yet, and she had no idea what they could offer or improve her quality of life. As her eyes shifted, she was drawn to the candles in the lobby.
"Light bulbs." Parita answered and added. "And electricity."
"What are you talking about?"
"Technologia." Parita imitated a ’s accent.
"And what in the goddess’s na is that?!"
Parita shrugged. It would be futile to explain modern technologies to these folks, so she changed the subject.
"I know what I must do. Anyway, thanks for the gold coins. May I keep the chest?"
"...Do what you will."
"Cool. Oh, may I ask for a day off tomorrow? I want to visit town and buy so knives... and other magic tools, if any."
"...No shop sells magic tools. You have to visit the capital or request one from the governor."
"Tsk. Well, what about potions?"
"You helped the potion store before. The store there has the best healing potions and rare herbs. Say, are you planning to go hunt more Hungers?"
"Yeah, no. I won’t be killing those creeps anyti soon. ’Kay, I’ll be off with this!"
Parita stored the entire gold coin chest into her inventory and returned to the second floor, continuing her work.
Sparrow, Parrot, and others gazed at their dorky helper in silence. Parita’s antics and unique speech style gave them a headache.
The elf knight sighed. "Let’s take a break. We take no jobs today."
"Agreed. Also, we have too many clothes. I don’t know where to store them."
"..."
Because they were purchasing new clothes instead of washing the ones they owned, the garnts began to stack up. Typically, they disposed of the old ones in places other than their rooms. Consequently, after the girls collected the second load of clean clothes from Parita, they had no space left in their rooms.
"...Should we sell our clothes or donate them?" Goldfinch asked.
Sparrow facepald. "Give the ones you can’t wear to Kestrel. I don’t think she has other clothes."
"..."
And so, the elf ladies got busy the entire day, sorting their clothes. Parrot and Goldfinch also realized that their waists had expanded, making it impossible to wear so of their old clothes from years past. They got depressed and sulked the entire day.
* * *
The next day, Parita woke up at 6 AM, though it was late for Sparrow and others. The elf ladies had already had their breakfast and left for the town.
Since Parita didn’t clean the clothes after midnight last night, she exited the mansion and perford the magic. This ti, the majority of the earth jars containing organic waste were purified, but Parita barely touched the dirty clothes. The awful odor in the front yard diminished, though the area remained just as repulsive as before.
’Yeah. Like I thought. Doing it in the morning feels a lot better. I don’t have to shit in that primitive toilet anymore.’
The Idol eting spell’s typical side effect eliminated impurities from her, including the accumulated waste. She no longer had to wash her face or use the washroom.
Additionally, the spell granted her so goodies.
DING
[You have obtained 254 Idol Points. Current Points: 264.]
Parita rubbed her hands. She asked the system for advice.
"So, which stats should I raise today? Recomndation?"
[Max your strength and add the rest to magic and fitness.]
"...Hoh? Why is it different today? I thought you wanted to focus on magic."
[Your magic defense is now strong enough that you won’t get one-shotted by an elite monster. You can focus on your offensive power and other cheap stats for the ti being.]
"What about my level?"
[There will be an opportunity later today.]
Parita paused and gave the system ssage screen a aningful look. She suspected that the system knew sothing she didn’t.
"What is gonna happen?"
[The Hungers have amazing noses and rember things for ages. It’s likely they knew their friend had died and located this place by last night. If you head out too late, you will run into them.]
"..."
Parita frowned and climbed the mountain of clothes, peeking outside the wall. From her vantage point atop the garnts, she saw six crimson eyes glaring back.
There was a lion, a giant one. Based on her estimation, it stood six ters tall, bigger than the dead boar.
Sporting six eyes, six enormous human arms as legs, and a black, lustrous scorpion tail, the giant lion was a sight to behold. Its mouth opened wide, revealing hundreds of pointed teeth and dripping saliva. Human faces appeared on its back, smirking as if they shared thoughts and awareness with the monster.
Seeing the Eldritch monster, Parita got goosebumps.
"What in the tarnation..."
[That’s the Starve, a superior variant of the Hunger.]
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