You know what’s worse than almost getting assassinated?
Being forcibly recruited by a student council that acts like a mafia crossed with a K-pop agency.
Let’s begin.
Scene: Thursday – School Rooftop, 3:30 PM
I was heading to the roof for so peace and lunch when a van screeched into the courtyard below.
Yes, a van. On school grounds.
Before I could say "That’s suspicious," soone in a pressed blazer and aviator sunglasses jumped out and shouted:
"TARGET ACQUIRED: BUNNY BOY!"
Next thing I knew, I was blindfolded, gagged (with a mint-scented cloth, weirdly thoughtful), and tossed inside.
Scene: Student Council HQ – The Lair
When they took the blindfold off, I was sitting in a throne made of textbooks, surrounded by:
A girl with silver hair and glasses too big for her face (the Secretary),
A muscle-bound dude in suspenders doing calligraphy (the Disciplinarian),
A tiny girl with a gaphone she used to whisper (the Vice President), and
In the center, a golden-haired boy who smiled like he was born in a cologne comrcial (the President).
"Welco," he said, fingers steepled, "to destiny."
I blinked. "Did I get isekai’d again or..."
The Prophecy of the Bunny
President Sparkleface explained:
"Every decade, the Council selects a divine figurehead—a mascot whose aura can absorb the school’s chaos and unite the factions."
"...So, like, a therapy mascot?"
"No. Like a mythical bunny who radiates balanced hormones and codic timing."
He pulled out an ancient scroll.
It had a crude doodle of a guy who looked like in a bunny suit, surrounded by sparkles and the word "✨Prophetic Idiot✨" in ancient calligraphy.
"Are you people high?" I asked.
"Yes," the Secretary said, deadpan. "On tradition."
The Audition
Before I could escape, they made :
Recite the school anthem backwards
Do a "charisma twirl" in a glittery bunny hoodie
Rank cafeteria puddings in ascending spiritual value
Sign a legally confusing contract written in calligraphy and glitter gel pen
And then the President declared:
"He is the one. The Unbalanced Egg. The Chosen Bun."
I scread. Silently. In lowercase.
Lilith & Sayuri Arrive
Ten minutes later, Lilith kicked in the door, carrying an axe, a lawyer, and an iced latte.
"Put down my idiot," she snarled. "Now."
Sayuri was right behind her, flipping a knife and smiling like she was hoping this ended in blood.
President Sparkleface raised a hand. "Peace, devils. The Bun has chosen."
I opened my mouth to object.
Lilith: "Did they put you in glitter again?"
: "...It was mandatory."
Sayuri: "I’ll kill the one who styled him."
The Secretary blushed.
The Verdict
After so yelling, two threats of magical lawsuits, and Lilith threatening to summon a succubus union, they compromised.
I’d appear at school events as the mascot, but without:
Bunny ears
Glitter eyeliner
Pudding-judging responsibilities
...Unless it was chocolate week.
Later That Night – Kazuki’s Room
I lay in bed, staring at the glitter-stained ceiling.
My phone buzzed.
Lilith: "You’re lucky you’re cute. Otherwise I’d have fireballed that place."
Sayuri: "Send pics of the outfit. I want to... analyze."
: "...I miss pancakes."
End of Chapter 9
✅ Call to Action:
🐰 Would you join a prophecy-based mascot cult? Do you support Kazuki’s accidental rise to Sparkle Bunny Lord?
💬 Vote: Team Lilith or Team Sayuri for mascot manager?
📌 Bookmark now to catch Chapter 10 – "Hot Springs Episode: I Accidentally Saw Everything and Now I’m Wanted in 3 Dinsions" 💦🔥
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