Chapter 150: I... don’t do such foolish things.
[Flashback]
"Just why won’t you let
go?!" Ashley scread hysterically in Lucian’s office, standing before him. She ground her teeth, grabbing his chest as she glared at him. "Why? Just what the hell is wrong with you?!"
Lucian held her arm tightly, his complexion paler than usual. Yet the cold look in his expression remained.
Tears brimd in her eyes until the corners reddened, her chest heaving heavily as her emotions reached an all-ti high.
"Lucian... why?" she breathed out, a stark contrast to her earlier yelling. Her desperation was clear. "Why? Do you really need sothing from the Di Carpios? Hah. Tell . I’ll get it for you—"
She paused, then shouted once more, "I’ll even kill all of them for you if that’s the only way you’ll let
go! Tell ! What the fuck do you want?!"
Ashley shook him, screaming until her throat felt raw. Yet he simply stood there, holding her arm to stop her. She scread and scread until that anger turned into sobs.
"Why...?" she wondered through gritted teeth and sniffles.
She lowered her head until her forehead rested against his chest. "Just why... can’t you let
go?"
His eyes softened as he gazed down, seeing her frail shoulders trembling. His jaw tightened, and a lump ford in his throat, urging him to comfort her. However, he knew that trying to would only insult her.
She was like this because of him.
Because he wouldn’t let her go.
Ashley was losing her mind because he was forcing her into things she didn’t want—like getting a degree and attending social events. If he truly wanted to comfort her, he should just let her go.
But... he just couldn’t.
Suddenly, Ashley’s shoulders stopped trembling. Then, a short, dry laugh escaped her lips.
"Don’t tell ..." she trailed off, looking up at him. "Lucian, do you love ?"
His impenetrable eyes and inscrutable expression gave nothing away.
"No," his answer was cold and absolute.
"Hah," she scoffed. "You don’t?"
"No, I don’t," he repeated with finality. For the first ti, his lips twitched into a faint, twisted smirk as a quiet chuckle escaped him.
"I... don’t do such foolish things. I can’t."
Ashley’s face twisted in helplessness as tears fell down her cheeks. "Then... why? WHY?!"
*****
[Present Ti]
Bitterness mixed with her faint smile as Ashley voiced the question that had lingered in the back of her mind since the beginning, not just of this rebirth, but even in her previous life.
Lucian had been clear about one thing: he didn’t do love.
When she brought it up before, she knew he hadn’t been lying. He ant every word. It wasn’t love that made him keep her. And yet, he never gave her a clear answer as to why he held on to her as if his life depended on it.
"I lost count of how many tis I stopped myself from asking... can you just love ?"
It would be easier to understand him if he did.
Silence stretched between them as Ashley carried a small smile, while Lucian stared at her with mild surprise.
"Our relationship is so abnormal," she muttered, looking away as her grip on the sheet loosened. "No matter how much I try to make it normal, it just isn’t. We’re a married couple, but only on paper. You care enough for , but not enough to love ."
She puffed her cheeks, realizing she was rambling. "It would be easier—more understandable—if you just loved , you know? Even though I know you don’t, pretending is fine. At least I wouldn’t keep wondering why you’re so nice to ."
Each word that left her lips tightened around his heart as if trying to stop it from beating. His eyes slowly widened as he held his breath.
Ashley sat right beside him, close enough that he didn’t even need to stretch out his arm to reach her. Yet his hand rose... and stopped midway.
"Hmm?" Her brows lifted as she turned to him, catching his hand mid-reach.
She blinked innocently, but before she could say anything, he spoke.
"What gives you the idea that I don’t?" he asked, dropping his hand.
She tilted her head. "That you don’t what?" she asked, earning a knowing look from him. "Ah... heh."
How could she tell him he had admitted it in her previous life?
"Am I wrong?" she laughed awkwardly. "Do you love
now?"
"No."
His answer ca like a bullet—fast and sharp.
Her nose scrunched as she looked at him in dismay. Did he have to answer that quickly? At least pretend to think about it!
Her thoughts halted when he spoke again.
"But... I can pretend if you want
to," he added, looking into her eyes. "Do you want
to?"
Her brows drew together in confusion. "Pretend? You an... you can pretend that you love ?" she clarified, and he nodded.
"Do you want
to?" he asked again.
That caught her off guard.
Confusion settled on her face as she thought about it, staring at him. Ashley looked away, rubbing her chin thoughtfully.
anwhile, Lucian raised his brows, waiting for her answer. After a mont, the corners of her lips curled into a smile.
"I guess that’s fine!" she giggled, grinning at him. "Lucian, you’re really going to do it?"
He nodded, the corners of his lips lifting slightly. "Would that work?"
"It will... if you work really hard."
"Then I will—"
Just as he reached for her leg to start, she suddenly slapped his hand away.
He froze, looking at her.
"That’s not what I an!" she gasped, crossing her arms protectively. "Seriously! Am I just a piece of at to you?!"
"..."
"Gee!" she clicked her tongue, shooting him a judgntal look. "Lucian, if you’re going to pretend, you have to make
believe it first! I can’t just erase everything from my mind!"
He tilted his head.
Wasn’t this her idea?
Ashley smiled playfully, hugging her knees. "You have to... do a lot of things for ."
Curiosity deepened in his eyes.
"You have to take
on dates, kiss
under the rain, hold my hand in public, and carry
when I’m drunk," she listed, recalling scenes from the movies she had watched. "You’ll also have to give
flowers randomly, tell
I’m pretty... and smart!"
Ashley rubbed her chin, narrowing her eyes in thought. "What else? Then tell
you love
and act like you can’t live without . Sotis, we’ll talk about our future—what we’ll do when our hair turns white. And when I’m sad, you’re going to comfort ."
"I want you to sing for
too," she added, tapping her index fingers together and peeking at him discreetly. "Then you’ll ssage
randomly, keep
updated. Sotis you’ll call
just because you miss . So days, you’ll chase
while I laugh happily..."
Ashley went on and on, her imagination running freely as if she were writing a novel.
But Lucian listened to everything, engraving each word into his mind like a tattoo. His eyelids drooped slightly as he studied her face while she spoke.
"I’ll tell you more when I think of it—"
Her words cut off as she turned to him, only for his lips to seal hers.
Ashley froze, her breath hitching as her eyes widened. His lips pressed firmly against hers, his fingers sliding between the gaps in hers.
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