I grinned like an idiot, humming to myself as I chopped garlic. The sharp, fragrant sll filled the kitchen. Dinner was almost ready, and for once, I was actually looking forward to it.
"Okay, what’s with the face?"
I jumped, the knife slipping. My older sister, Olica, was leaning in the doorway, a laundry basket on her hip and a smirk on her face. "You look way too happy. It’s weirding out."
"Shut up," I said, my heart starting to calm down. "I’m just making dinner."
"Uh-huh," she said, not buying it for a second. She walked over and peered into the pot. "Because you’re always this cheerful after school. Usually, you co ho looking like you just sat through a three-hour lecture on paint drying."
Ouch. She wasn’t wrong.
"School’s just been... better lately," I mumbled, scraping the garlic into the simring sauce.
"Better since you started walking ho with that guy I saw you with?" she asked, her eyes lighting up. She was like a shark that slled gossip in the water.
My face felt hot. "How did you even see that?"
"I have eyes. And he’s cute. Is he why you finally ditched Tyler? Thank god, by the way. That guy had the personality of a wet napkin."
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. "His na’s Kofi."
"Kofi," she repeated, testing the na out. "And? What’s the deal? Is he the reason for the ridiculous grin?"
I stirred the sauce, a real smile spreading across my face. "He’s a nerd. A huge, quiet nerd who compares everything to video gas. But... it’s just easy. He doesn’t want anything. We just talk."
"Easy looks good on you," she said, her voice softening a little. "It’s nice seeing you actually smile instead of just performing."
The word ’performing’ hit right in the chest. That’s exactly what it had been. With Tyler, and the guy before him, and the one before that, it was all a performance. I had to be the ’cool girlfriend.’ I had to laugh at the right ti, wear the right clothes, say the right things. I’d co ho every day feeling completely drained, like I’d just finished a ten-hour shift at a job I hated.
"I didn’t realize it was that obvious," I said quietly, turning the heat down on the stove.
"Nina, please," Olica said, leaning against the counter next to . "Mom and I were talking about it just last week. For the past year, you’ve co ho looking like a ghost. You’d just go to your room and shut the door. We were worried."
I felt a little pang of guilt. I had been so wrapped up in my own misery, in trying to survive Selma and Becky’s social boot camp, that I hadn’t even thought about how it was affecting my family. They saw the ’paint drying’ face, too.
"It was just... a lot," I said, shrugging. "Friends, guys... it was all so much work."
"It shouldn’t be work," she said, her voice firm. "If it feels like work, you’re with the wrong people. All those guys your ’friends’ kept pushing you on... they were all the sa. Just different flavors of asshole."
She was right. They were. They all wanted the sa thing: a pretty accessory to show off. Not a person. Not . They wanted the girl who looked good in pictures, not the girl who liked reading fantasy books and listening to her mom’s folk music.
"Kofi’s not like that," I found myself saying, and I felt the need to defend him, even though no one was attacking him. "He’s... quiet and awkward. And he says the weirdest things. But when he looks at , it doesn’t feel like he’s trying to figure out an angle. It just feels like he’s looking at ."
"Well, that’s a step up from Mr. Wet Napkin," Olica said with a grin. "So, this nerd. Is he just a friend, or...?"
My face got hot again. "We’re just friends."
It was true. We agreed to be friends. But the way my heart had stuttered when he’d looked at in the café, the way I felt when he said he was thankful for ... that didn’t feel very ’just friends’. And the hug. Oh god, the hug. My brain just short-circuited every ti I thought about it. He had felt so solid and warm, and for a split second, I had felt completely safe.
"Okay," Olica said, drawing the word out, clearly not believing for a second. "Just friends who you’re grinning about like a crazy person. Got it."
I rolled my eyes and playfully shoved her. "Whatever. Go set the table."
"Fine, fine," she said, laughing as she pushed herself off the counter. "But for the record, I approve of the nerd. Anyone who can make you stop looking like a sad Victorian ghost is okay in my book."
I watched her walk out of the kitchen, and the smile on my face just stayed there. It was so nice, not having to explain or defend myself. Olica just got it.
I was plating the pasta when my phone, which was on the counter, buzzed. I glanced at the screen, my heart giving a little kick when I saw his na.
’He’s just a friend,’ I reminded myself, but my fingers were already swiping to open the ssage.
It wasn’t a text. It was a picture.
I tapped on it, and the image loaded. It was a selfie, taken from a slightly low angle, the kind guys always take when they’re not used to taking pictures of themselves.
It was Kofi and his hair was gone.
The ssy, longish hair that flopped over his eyes was completely gone. The sides were cut short and clean, and the hair on top was styled, falling perfectly. It changed his whole face. He suddenly had a jawline. A really, really nice jawline. He looked... cool. Like, really, genuinely cool. Not a loner, not a nerd. He looked like the main character.
A sound escaped my mouth. It was sothing between a squeak and a gasp.
"HOLY SHIT!"
I slapped my hand over my mouth, my eyes wide. I zood in on the picture. I zood out. I swiped it away and then imdiately brought it back up to make sure it was real.
’Okay. Okay. Calm down, Nina. It’s just a haircut.’
But it wasn’t just a haircut. It was... a glow-up. A serious one. He looked so good it was actually a little bit stunning.
My thumbs were flying over the keyboard before I could even think.
> : um.
> : WHAT
> : KOFI. WHAT DID YOU DO.
I hit send, my heart pounding like crazy. I stared at the picture again, a huge, ridiculous grin spreading across my face.
’... He looks so hot.... In a friendship kind of way, yeah, that’s what I ant. It’s not like I ant it in a romantic way or anything.’
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