Nina took another sip of her juice, studying over the top of the carton. "It’s weird, though," she continued, her head tilted. "When you get like that, all quiet and focused... you’re actually pretty normal."
She put her juice down, her gaze turning more serious, more analytical. "When you fought back against Ronnie that day, you weren’t freaking out. You were calm. Brave, even. Is that... is that the side of you that cos out when you’re afraid to get hurt?"
The question hung in the air between us.
’Afraid to get hurt?’
My brain latched onto the words. My first instinct was to deny it. I wasn’t afraid. I was just handling it. That’s what I’d told myself.
But then I thought about it. Really thought about it. The feeling I’d had when Ronnie was sitting next to , spitting his pathetic insults. It wasn’t fear. It wasn’t panic. It was a cold, quiet calm. A feeling of control.
My mind flickered back. A mory so old it felt like it belonged to soone else. and AJ, side-by-side in the weight room in middle school. So bigger kids were trying to shoulder us off the bench press, making stupid jokes. I hadn’t been scared then, either. I had just looked at them, made a smart-ass comnt, and AJ had laughed. We were a team. I wasn’t alone. I had felt brave.
’Holy shit.’
It was the exact sa feeling.
The sa quiet confidence I’d had when my only friend in the world was sitting right next to .
I looked at Nina. She was just watching , waiting, giving the space to figure it out. She wasn’t just my pillar. She was the reason the pillar was there in the first place.
A slow smile spread across my face, and it felt more real than any other smile I’d had.
"Yeah," I said, my voice quiet and so genuine it surprised even . "It’s all thanks to you."
The words just hung there. Her eyes widened, just a little. And then I saw it. A faint pink started to creep up her neck, spreading across her cheeks. She blinked and looked away quickly, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. She was blushing.
My own face felt hot. My heart stuttered in my chest. ’Did I say that right? Was that too much? Oh god, I made it weird again.’
But when she looked back at , her little smile was still there, even if her face was the color of a ripe strawberry.
The bell shrieked, a piercing sound that shattered the mont. Lunch was over. The classroom chatter surged back to life as everyone started packing up their things.
Nina stood up, grabbing her empty juice carton. "I, uh... I have to go return this," she stamred, not quite eting my eyes. "I’ll see you after class."
She practically fled, disappearing into the crowd of students.
My face was on fire.
’Why? Why did I say that? What does that even an?’
I wanted to curl up and die of embarrassnt. The way she’d blushed and then just fled... I’d made it weird. Again. After we had finally gotten to a good place, a normal place, I had to go and say sothing that sounded like it was ripped from the last page of a shoujo manga.
’Crap. Crap, crap, how am I supposed to face her next ti?’
I buried my hot face in my hands, groaning quietly into my palms. I was an idiot. A certified, grade-A dumbass.
Just then, the classroom door slid open, and our class rep walked back in.
"Hey, everyone," she announced. "Miss Kasera had to leave for a family ergency. The principal says we have a free period, just as long as we don’t get too loud."
A wave of relief and quiet celebration washed through the room. The tense, post-lunch atmosphere imdiately dissipated as kids pulled out their phones, started whispering to their friends, or just laid their heads on their desks.
It was the perfect escape.
I pulled out my phone, my fingers flying to the TokTok app like it was a life raft. I needed a distraction, sothing stupid and aningless to stop the cringe feedback loop in my head.
The algorithm, as always, delivered. A ridiculously over-edited video of so angsty ani character standing in the rain, set to a distorted, bass-boosted sad-boy song. It was so bad it was perfect. I scrolled down to the comnts, a grin finally breaking through my cloud of mortification.
> **xX_ShadowSlayer_Xx:** bro thinks he’s the final boss 💀💀
> **AniGirl_77:** This edit goes hard but why is he crying over a piece of toast? Lmao
> **ThatOneGuy:** Nah the power-scaling is all wrong, he totally loses this fight in the manga.
I snorted, my thumb already typing out a reply.
> **Kofi_L_D:** The part where he just stands there getting soaked while thinking about the aning of food is peak fiction fr fr 🔥💯
I hit post, feeling a small, satisfying bit of my normal self return. This was my world. Safe, anonymous, and full of people making dumb jokes about cartoons.
"Hey."
The voice was sharp, polished, and way too close. I didn’t look up. I just kept my eyes glued to my phone, pretending I hadn’t heard a thing.
"The guy sitting in front of you," the voice said, louder this ti. "Move."
I saw the kid in the desk ahead of flinch. He glanced back, saw who was talking, and scrambled out of his seat so fast he nearly tripped. A chair scraped loudly against the floor.
sigh, this annoying over the top voice, it could only be one person.
Selma sat down in the now-empty chair, turning it around to face directly. Her knees were practically touching mine.
"Hey," she said again, her voice insistent.
I kept scrolling, my thumb moving past video after video without seeing any of them. ’Don’t look up. Don’t engage. Be a rock. Be a boring, uninteresting rock.’
"Hey, loner. I’m talking to you."
Her voice was a steel whip now, sharp and impossible to ignore. I finally let out a slow, tired breath and lifted my head, my face a carefully constructed mask of boredom.
She was leaning forward, her chin resting on her hand, looking up and down like I was a bug she was considering squashing.
’For fuck’s sake,’ I thought, my brief mont of peace utterly shattered. ’Drama really loves , huh.’
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