Chapter 400: Past Life (dium) – Love to the Extre is Madness_2
But he quickly regained his composure.
He couldn’t do it. If he were to die, leaving a child for Wanwan, how exhausted would she be, all alone? She was so beautiful, what if soone took advantage of their orphaned and widowed state?
Moreover, the matter of revenge was at a critical juncture, and if he dragged her into this vortex now… He dared not imagine the scene of her walking in front of him.
He hid that docunt deep in a drawer.
Not long after, Xu ii appeared in Shen Chi’s view. No, perhaps it was wrong to say it that way. In fact, this woman had been incessantly entangling herself around him for seven or eight years; it was only now that he truly took notice of her.
He knew this woman was sowhat related to Dong Fei, and her appearance before him was no coincidence.
But what he saw more clearly was the obsession and fiery emotion in this woman’s eyes when she looked at him, identical to how he looked at Wanwan.
Lost in the intensity of emotion in those eyes, Shen Chi inexplicably felt dazed at the ti, even he himself was confused. However, he quickly let go of the matter and continued to hasten his steps toward revenge.
He began to dream, dreaming of lying in bed with Wanwan, who slept so sweetly, even smiling in her sleep. He wanted to reach out and touch her, only to discover he had sohow turned into a corpse. Below him, lava churned, filled with bones and the wailing cries of despair from hell, and his corpse gradually fell downwards. But in the last mont, his corpse would always reach out its hand to pull Wanwan down with him.
At that point, he would wake up and then be unable to sleep all night long.
Occasionally, he would have good dreams, but upon waking, he could never rember them, feeling an unbearable emptiness inside.
The malignant tumor in his brain seed to have grown restless, causing him pain so intense he wanted to thrash on the ground, but he had to endure it, not letting Liu Yufang and others discern his illness.
Sotis he endured it until his facial expression froze, the thing on his neck feeling foreign, terribly sore. Occasionally, when alone, he would indulge himself but nearly blasted his own head with a gun. Since then, he dared not keep knives or firearms, those dangerous items, nearby when alone, afraid he wouldn’t be able to resist suicide.
He still had so many things unfinished.
It was in such a repressed and twisted state of mind that Shen Chi saw Xu ii again. She smiled at him and handed him a sweater she had knitted herself, all nervous.
He froze for a mont, then did sothing even he found unexpected—he reached out and embraced her. Compared to Xu ii’s ecstatic joy and his own confusion, the expressions of the others were one of horror.
After similar occurrences happened several tis, Shen Chi began to seriously ponder what was wrong.
He didn’t believe he had fallen in love with Xu ii instead; the only one in his heart and mind was Wanwan. So, the only reason he might treat her differently was that her feelings for him and his for Wanwan were very similar… He narrowed his eyes and thought back to what was on his mind when he was close to Xu ii? What was he feeling in his heart?
—”If I were to reciprocate her feelings, what expression would she have?”
—”If I were to thoroughly shatter her hopes just when she believes I have fallen in love with her, what kind of despair would show on her face?”
—”If I were to have relations with her, completely nullifying any possibility with Wanwan, would my mind feel a bit lighter?”
—”It’s both longing without attaining, why can she see the person in her heart every day, yet I can’t even et Wanwan once? If I could drag her down to despair and pain with , would that make feel better?”
Caught off guard, overwhelming despair and unwillingness surged up from within, and he felt extrely troubled, walking out of his ho involuntarily.
When he ca to his senses, he found himself standing near the old city area where Wanwan lived, just a fifteen-minute walk away from seeing the person who haunted his dreams.
But Shen Chi couldn’t muster any expression.
Because just then, amidst his heartache, he had actually thought—would the devil in his heart die if Wanwan were to die first?
He understood that his mind was probably not right, or to put it bluntly, he was mad.
Originally, Shen Chi had wanted to control his uncontrollable behavior towards Xu ii, but after this incident, he let go completely.
Rather than Wanwan getting hurt, he would naturally prefer Xu ii to be the one in pain.
One night, he was rushing back to the city from Province C with Chen Han. When they passed by a bar, Shen Chi suddenly asked to stop the car and walked in.
He didn’t want to drink, but he didn’t feel like returning to the military district either. Carrying too much burden there, he wanted to find a place where no one recognized him and just sit down.
Then unexpectedly, he saw Xu ii, drunk and being harassed by several hooligans.
Chen Han frowned, wanting to help, but Shen Chi held him back.
At that mont, he should have been surprised, or perhaps terrified? Because his suspicion was confird.
As for his ntal state, Shen Chi never thought of hiding it from him, nor could he.
He watched with his own eyes as Xu ii was forcibly dragged into a motel by several ruffians, and deep in his heart erged a twisted sense of pleasure. He even checked into two rooms in the motel with the flustered Chen Han, staying there.
Then, as if possessed, he made Xu ii believe that the one who had slept with her was him, giving her an illusion of love, watching her sink step by step into the trap he had set for her. The happier she was, the more excited he was inside, looking forward to her reaction when the truth ca out.
In this way, he suppressed the malice that despair had bred in him against Wanwan.(To be continued. If you like this work, you are welco to vote for it at Qidian (qidian) by giving it a recomndation ticket, a monthly ticket. Your support is my greatest motivation. Mobile users please visit m.qidian to read.)
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