TL/Editor: looloo
Status: ongoing
Illustrations: posted in discord
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The day I was to leave for the training center finally arrived. I barely slept the night before.
Two nights ago, I spent ti with friends, then with family, and played with Sarang as much as possible.
On the last night, Heena and I lay in bed, holding each other and talking almost until dawn.
We didn't discuss anything special, just making plans like where to go after training ends, or where to visit this winter.
I managed to catch a bit of sleep late, but only for about two hours. Despite the tension and nervousness, I wasn't as tired as I expected.
I quietly left the room, careful not to wake Heena, and took a leisurely shower. It felt surreal. The fact that from tomorrow, I wouldn't be in this house.
"Take care of yourself. Don't overdo it."
"Yes, health is the most important. I wish I could go with you, son."
"I will, don't worry. Dad, no need to skip work for this. My brothers all went through it too."
After showering, I had a brief chat with my father-in-law and my dad. Dad had stopped by early before heading to work.
Both of them had offered to take a day off to co with , but I declined. All my brothers had been to the military, so there was no need for the whole family to co.
Besides, I only had to train for 5 weeks before I could commute.
Moreover, there wasn't room in the car for two more people. Six people were already coming to the training center with .
Heeseong hyung, who had volunteered as the driver and taken a day off long ago, Heena, Sarang, my mother-in-law, my mom, and .
"Oh my... What will Sarang do when our son-in-law leaves?"
"I packed so ice cream in the cooler, but..."
"She'll probably be too busy crying to even notice that. Sis, rember how much Sarang missed Yeonho when he stayed there overnight last ti?"
"We have to try sothing. We can't stop my son from going."
"That's true, but..."
Both of them were more worried about Sarang than . Well, I was worried too. It would be fortunate if she just pouted or cried a little.
I double-checked the contents of my bag one last ti and sat in the living room, trying to calm my nerves.
There wasn't much in the bag, really. Just my ID, watch, so toiletries that didn't overlap with the initial supplies, and most importantly, family photos.
Most were pictures of Heena and Sarang. I focused on family photos of the three of us. No matter how tough the training got, seeing their faces would help endure. Probably.
As I sat listening to the adults talk with one ear, Heena soon ca out of the room with Sarang.
Sarang was still half-asleep, her eyes more than half-closed as she smacked her lips.
"Oh my... Sarang... Sleepy..."
"I'll wash up with Sarang and co out."
"Okay. We still have plenty of ti, so take it easy."
"...I want to co out quickly and be with you."
"Alright."
Heena didn't look too good. She was fine when we were talking last night, but waking up must have unsettled her again.
Seeing Sarang and Heena's faces again in the morning made feel very conflicted too. The reality that I wouldn't see my cute daughter or beautiful wife for 5 weeks was starting to hit ho more clearly.
Feeling my fingertips grow cold, I sat stiffly until Heeseong hyung, who had gone out briefly to move the car, returned.
"Hey, I moved the car out front. How's your ntal state?"
"So-so."
"I guess. It's not your ntal state that's the problem. It's Heena and Sarang's."
"Sigh... I'll have to call diligently. They said we can call once a week, right?"
"That varies by regint. If you're lucky, you might call more often, but if you're unlucky, you might only call once or twice during the whole period."
"How was it for you, hyung?"
"I called once. Because of so idiot who caused trouble. It was fucking annoying."
"......"
I shouldn't have asked.
I regretted asking as it only made my heart heavier. Thanks to that, my carefully maintained composure crumbled, and I let out a deep sigh.
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Raei Translations
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When it was ti, those who needed to go to work left, and after receiving a "hang in there" call from each of my brothers and sisters-in-law, we headed to the training center by car.
The ride was silent. Everyone knew I get carsick easily, so they deliberately didn't talk to .
Sarang was still very sleepy and was sleeping soundly on my lap, while Heena rested her head on my shoulder, holding my hand. Tightly, strongly.
After driving for over 2 hours, we arrived at a place filled with n with buzz cuts like mine, walking with their families or lovers. There were also an unusually high number of soldiers, almost tripping over each other.
I no longer felt nervous. Only resignation remained. This is it, I'm really going, I thought.
There were so many people that I wondered how we'd park, but surprisingly, the parking area was very spacious. We parked quickly and all headed towards the enlistnt ceremony venue.
"Son, want to eat sothing before you go in?"
"Didn't you say the food they sell here tastes bad? That's why we ca leisurely. Let's just go straight in."
"Honey, aren't you hungry? What if you get weak later..."
"Hey, they don't even train in the first week. Forcing yourself to eat might upset your stomach."
"That's what they say. Don't worry too much."
"Daddy and ddokkada! Hair spiky spiky!"
Sarang, now more awake, was pointing here and there, laughing. She must have been surprised to see so many people with similar haircuts.
As we got closer to the enlistnt ceremony venue, the crowd grew denser. We could easily get separated if we weren't careful.
So I held Sarang with one arm and tightly grasped Heena's hand with the other as we followed hyung.
"Daddy! So many people!"
"Right~ Hold onto Daddy tight, okay?"
"Yes!"
Pushing through the crowd, we arrived at what looked like a wide soccer field. There were tiered stands around the green grass field in all four directions, and we finally found shade to sit under.
Glancing around, I could see that other trainees were visibly tense too. They were smiling among their families, but their smiles didn't reach their eyes.
I hugged Sarang tightly and chatted a bit more with Heena. This was our last chance to talk.
Due to the midsumr heat, there was no enlistnt ceremony today. They said we just had to wait here and go in when called.
"Honey, don't get hurt... No matter what. Okay?"
"Of course. I'll take care of myself first, always."
"I'll always have my phone with , so call whenever you can."
"I will. I'll call you first, always."
"They say we can write letters right here and send them, so I'll write one here and more when I get ho."
"Co to think of it, this is the first ti we're exchanging letters. We should have done this before."
Mom, mother-in-law, and Heeseong hyung remained quiet while we talked. Sarang was busy looking around in my arms.
anwhile, Heena kept talking. Repeating the sa words she had said dozens of tis until dawn today.
"When you co back, it'll be autumn, so let's go sowhere, just the three of us. We'll go to an amusent park too..."
"Write down all the places you want to go. We'll visit them all every weekend."
"Since you'll be working on weekdays from now on, I'll make breakfast for you too."
"Uh... You'll be tired... No, please do. I miss your kimchi stew."
"And..."
Her words kept flowing, tinged with sobs. I kept my gaze on the green field in front of , afraid I might cry if I looked at her face while speaking.
But soon, Heena couldn't hold back anymore and started sobbing.
"And... hic... I don't know... Just... be careful... hic... Co back soon..."
"Don't worry. Ti will fly. I'll be back before you know it."
My nose stung. Five weeks isn't a long ti. But for us, it was our first long separation.
"Mommy, why are you crying...?"
Sarang must have sensed sothing odd in the atmosphere, as she looked at Heena and alternately with an uneasy face.
Just then, the surroundings began to stir as people started moving one by one. The LED display at the top of the stands showed the ssage "Ti for Farewell".
Seeing that, I spoke to Sarang as gently as I could.
"Sarang."
"Daddy, you shouldn't when Mommy's crying..."
"Sarang, Daddy has to go sowhere for a bit... Can you be a good girl and listen to Mommy while I'm gone?"
"Daddy? Where are you going?"
"Yes. Daddy has to go sowhere and sleep for a few nights."
"How many nights? Sarang wants to go too! Sarang wants to go with Daddy!"
Sarang seed to instinctively sense that this wasn't like our occasional one-night separations. She imdiately turned her body and grabbed my clothes with both hands, starting to throw a tantrum.
I stroked Sarang's face and gave her a little kiss on the cheek.
"Our Sarang is a good girl, right? If you listen to Mommy well and eat your als well, Daddy will co back quickly."
"No... Don't go, Daddy... I wanna go with you!"
I'm not sure if this is the right way to handle it. Maybe it would have been better to lie completely, pretend I was just going out for a bit and then leave.
But that seed a bit cowardly. It would be no different from running away because I didn't want to see Sarang cry. If she didn't know anything and I suddenly disappeared, she'd cry even more pitifully.
Sarang, who had been raising her voice and throwing a tantrum, finally burst into loud tears.
She's only four years old. We didn't explain the situation properly, and she's not old enough to understand such things anyway.
But she seed to know. That she wouldn't be able to see for a long ti - long for and Heena, but feeling much longer for Sarang.
"Don't go!! Waaaaaah!!! Mommy!!! Tell Daddy not to go!!!"
Except for when she was very young, I had never seen Sarang cry this loudly. She had always been with or other family mbers, and since Sarang was such a good child, there was rarely a need to scold her harshly.
Seeing her like this made my heart not just weaken, but feel like it was being torn apart.
"Daddy promises. Forty nights. Our Sarang is smart, so you know how long forty nights is, right? After forty nights, Daddy will co back to hug you."
"Daddy!!! Take Sarang with, hic... you... Waaaaaah... Sarang... hic... will be good... listen well... Daddy...
Don't go!!!"
"Our Sarang is always good. Okay? Daddy will be back soon."
"Don't, go... Daddy don't go..!!!"
"Oh, our Sarang..."
She clung to my clothes, burying her face in my chest, crying and begging not to go. I patted Sarang's back, trying my best to comfort her.
But there wasn't much ti left. Gradually, the people around us were thinning out, and calls for the remaining trainees to hurry up began to echo.
I had no choice but to try and hand Sarang over to Heeseong hyung or mother-in-law, but Heena reached out to from beside.
Heena's eyes were bright red from crying, but she was still managing a small smile.
"Honey. Give Sarang to . I'll comfort her."
"Okay, thanks. I'll be back soon."
"Like I said before, don't get hurt no matter what... Sarang, co here. To Mommy."
"No!!! Daddy!!! Don't go!!!"
Heena forcefully took Sarang, who was screaming as if in agony. Heeseong hyung helped loosen Sarang's grip, which was clutching my clothes as if she would tear them.
"Hey, don't try to stand out unnecessarily. Just do what you need to and co back."
"Well, that's my specialty."
"Waaaaaaah!!!! No!!! Daddy!!!!"
There was no more ti to waste. I gave one last kiss on Sarang's tear-stained face and a quick kiss on Heena's lips.
Despite that our family was watching, I didn't care at all in this mont.
And with that brief kiss, I ran down with my bag. I was already quite late and had to hurry.
"Daddy!!!!! Co back!!!! I wanna go with Daddy!!!!"
I could still hear Sarang's heart-rending voice. She was crying much more desperately than I had imagined, which weighed heavily on my heart. It felt like it would crush .
But now, all I could do was hope that Heena and the other family mbers would comfort her well.
Perhaps because Sarang's voice could be heard even down here, a person who looked like an instructor didn't say anything but just nodded at , signaling to hurry in.
As I ran inside, there were countless fellow trainees squatting in rows and columns, and...
"Quickly find your place and sit down!!!"
An instructor shouting at .
And so, my life in the training center began.
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