I took a deep breath and was silent for a mont. I didn’t expect Jayden to have those feelings. I knew he was devastated when Mirea died because I also felt the sa. I just couldn’t imagine how deeply he was hurt that he would create more identities to suppress his feelings.
"You need to talk to him, Peggy. Not just the usual talk. You have to reach his soul. He’s broken, Peggy. If you can’t save him, you will eventually lose him." Alora continued.
I went ho with a shattered heart. I was scared to go inside our bedroom and see Jayden in another identity. I was unsure if I could handle him, but I had to try everything to save him.
I knew I was losing hope, but I couldn’t give up. I promised to love and be with him until death and I would never break that promise.
When I opened our bedroom door, Jayden was already awake and was sitting on the chair beside the window. I’m not sure if he didn’t hear entering the room or if he was just ignoring .
"Love?" I called and walked closer to him.
He didn’t look back at so I rushed into him and crouched in front of him.
"Hey, is there sothing wrong?" I asked.
He finally looked into my eyes and stared at . I was expecting the Jayden I was with since high school was back, but he wasn’t. His eyes were different again, but I couldn’t figure out who was in front of .
"Where have you been?" He asked.
"I-I went to see Alora."
Then silence. My heart was pounding because I was scared of his answer, but I had to talk to him. Alora said, if I want to save him, I had to reach his soul.
"Why?" He asked again.
I took a deep breath and stood up. I bit my lip and turned around, then took another deep breath. Then I turned to him again.
"Are you Jayden? Or a different personality. I want to speak to the real you." I said in a firm tone.
I knew he was not the Jayden I slept with last night, nor the man I married. He wasn’t the man this morning either.
He grinned. "You’re beginning to know every one of us. Impressive!"
I let out another deep sigh to show my impatience. "I don’t want to talk to you. Let the real Jayden out."
He chuckled. "Relax. I just want to see your reaction so I decided to show up. I’m the fourth identity and don’t worry I don’t bite."
"Are you the one from this morning? I didn’t get the chance to ask because he was anxious."
It was a good thing he was not moving from his seat and was just observing . That’s what I noticed from all of Jayden’s alters. They liked observing .
"The crybaby guy? Oh no! That’s not !" He said.
I nodded. He seed different from the one this morning so I’m sure he was telling the truth.
"So, why did he create you? Do you know?"
He looked at again and I noticed that this alter was more cheerful than the others. He tried his best to appear serious in front of , but he could not hide the expression in his eyes.
"I’m not sure. Maybe he’s lonely."
I frowned. "Lonely? Why? We’re happy."
"Are you sure? Or you’re just making yourself believe that you are happy."
I was surprised by his words. Then I started to doubt myself. Am I happy? Ever since that dreadful day at the palace, I drowned myself in finding Benjamin. All I could think was to get my revenge. I never asked Jayden what he felt about it.
I looked at him and he was smiling at . I’m not sure what that smile ant, but I just ignored it.
"Are you broken like because of what happened that day? Are you still scared that I might end up like your mother and Caden will end up like Mirea?" I asked.
His expression suddenly changed. The cheerful guy now had a dark expression on his face. I knew he didn’t like my questions, but I had to start asking him.
"You’re afraid, right? And you blad yourself for everything that happened. The murder of your mother, the n you killed in Flousia, the death of Mirea, living away from Caden and the thought of losing , it’s breaking you. You are blaming yourself because you couldn’t do anything."
"Stop! Say no more! I don’t want to hear anything!" He yelled.
"No! That’s the reason we can’t move forward! We’re still stuck in the past because we couldn’t forget. It was painful and that pain is unbearable. I know it, love. You’re not the only one who felt broken. I’m sorry for not being there for you. I couldn’t accept the fact that Benjamin ruined my life, our lives. I wanted to find him so badly to the point that I forgot about your feelings." I said while my tears started to fall.
Jayden sighed and his expression changed again.
"I-I felt so alone. Ever since mom died, I felt like half of died along with her. I struggled and tried to hide my feelings from dad because I don’t want him to worry about . But that was a mistake. The more I hide, the more it breaks ." He finally opened up.
"Who are you?" I asked.
"It’s , love." He said.
My eyes widened when I realized that it was him. The one I t in high school and the man I married.
"Love!" I called and then rushed into him to hug him right.
I was happy to see him and didn’t want to let go. I missed him so much so I wanted to feel his warmth.
"I thought you were gone for good, love. I’m glad you’re back."
He smiled at and then brushed his hand on my cheek.
"I’m sorry, but I can’t stay anymore." He said.
My heart broke hearing those words from him.
"What do you an?"
"As he said, I’m not the real Jayden. So I have to disappear forever."
I frowned and started to get anxious. "W-What? No! Don’t say that! We’ll figure it out. I-I’ll help you get cured." I stuttered.
He shook his head and played with so stands of my hair.
"I’m not the real him. I was created to protect him from getting hurt. I had the strongest personality and I do not fear anyone. When I first t you, I didn’t expect to fall for you, but it happened. I thought everything is okay. I forgot that I was just a part of soone with an illness. I never thought I was the fake one because what I felt for you was all real."
Tears couldn’t stop falling from my eyes and I felt like my heart was being crushed into thousand pieces. I knew Jayden wouldn’t really disappear, only the alter that he created. But it was still painful.
"Do you rember when I didn’t wake up again? I was trapped sowhere dark and cold. Before I got out, I saw soone, but I couldn’t figure out who he was. He was near the light, but he could not step out of the darkness. After getting out of the dark, I realized that he was the real Jayden. He was trapped and scared to get out. The only way to set him free was to make every one of his alters disappear, including ."
I knew it was the right thing to do, but I still couldn’t stop myself from crying. Who could bla ? I was with him since high school and it was still a shock to to learn about the truth. It wasn’t that easy to accept.
I know everyone might think that I’m crazy. He and the real him were the sa. It just so happened that they had different personalities.
"B-But I want you to stay with ." I said.
"Don’t say that. If you say it like that, it’s like rejecting the real Jayden. How can you say that you love , knowing that you didn’t accept who I really am?"
He was right. I had to accept Jayden’s flaws so I could love him without a doubt. To help him, I had to let go of his alters and break the connection with them.
"I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it. I know what you said was the right thing to do." I finally answered.
He smiled at and gently kissed on the lips. I felt his lips trembling and when I started to deepen the kiss, I tasted a salty liquid coming from his cheeks. I knew he was crying as I was wailing inside.
He let go of my lips and whispered. "Goodbye, my love." Then pressed his lips again with mine.
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