"THIS IS NOT A RETREAT, IT'S A TACTICAL WITHDRAWAL... it's a... withdrawal..." I wake up in a totally strange situation while screaming that I'm not running away, I'm also flying in the sky while so strangely dressed people are running away with .
I'm tired and my body hurts as soone is "carrying" while we're running away from 3 strangely dressed girls.
Soon a flood of mories fills my head all at once as I pass out from exhaustion.
...
"..."
"I'll never get used to this..." I murmur as I wake up in another world, lying on a bed in a dical facility.
"How annoying..." I murmur to myself, I hate this, I died again and this ti it wasn't because of sothing I wanted, but because of an impulse from my body. I only now realize that I didn't want to die, but my "self" in that world did, so I couldn't avoid making that "bet" with myself.
I start punching the bed I'm lying on angrily.
"WHY, WHY, WHY DOES THIS ONLY HAPPEN TO ?" Tears of hatred and frustration fall, this is so frustrating, I didn't want to die, but my body did and that's why I couldn't avoid it.
My hands tremble with anger as I punch the bed hard.
I've never realized how these "personality aspects" have such an absurd influence on , I even accepted death in that world without realizing it, even though I'm so afraid of dying.
I guess the fact that it's erasing my free will also contributes to the loss of the fear of death, although only temporarily, because now my fear of dying has returned with full force.
"Mistress, please calm down," a girl approaches the bed I'm trying to calm down on, she seems concerned.
I take a deep breath while trying to adjust the huge flow of mories that have surfaced.
"Please leave," I say to the strangely dressed, sowhat goth-looking girl.
"Yes?"
"GET OUT OF HERE, I WANT TO BE ALONE" My voice in this world has an arrogant tone that seems a bit strange because it's even more arrogant than my male version, the girl quickly runs out.
"Hahaha another strange world," I laugh as I look at my hands. In this world, apparently I'm a "villain" and not just any villain, but the leader of the greatest enemies of magical girls.
"What the hell... why did I end up in a shitty world... wait, magical girls? ... MAGIC" This catches my attention, with magic I can break my curse, and with the mories I have, I see that I'm also powerful.
Besides being powerful, my moral compass has been fragnted, in other words:
"I'll kill my Yandere," I say with determination. In this world, I see no problem in killing, I don't want to die, so I just need to eliminate the Yandere, after all, I'm already a villain in this world.
'It seems that the personality aspect of this world is Arrogance, pride and villainy...' Honestly, they're not very good aspects to have, but at least they ca loaded with useful mories.
I breathe a bit erratically as I look at the pile of mories I have. It seems that in public I'm just a common "student," but behind the scenes I'm the leader of the biggest villain organization in this world.
"I have power... and influence... I won't die in any way," I finally feel a glimr of hope to really break my curse. This world seems perfect.
After all, I have powers, this world has magic, and I have many people who obey .
'But...' From what I see in the mories, "I" got beaten up pretty badly by the magical girls.
'Am I weaker than the magical girls? ... No, I'm stronger individually, I just lose if the 3 of them team up.' From what I see in the mories, if it's just one of them, I give them a beating, but if they team up, I'm the one who gets beaten.
'I can also avoid being too exposed while using what I have to break my curse...' I don't really want to go around killing people, but I don't want to die either, so my mind only reaches the answer of eliminating my Yandere with the powers I have now.
In fact, from what I see in my mories, the "" of this world has only killed 3 people in her entire life, even though I'm only 18 years old in this world.
Even though I've caused mass destruction in various places, the focus has never really been on killing.
The "" of this world just wanted to be "noticed." It seems my life in this world was sad, lonely, and horrible because of the hypocritical society, especially those so-called magical girls who are the epito of hypocrisy with their silly speeches about justice.
I can perfectly feel the anger and hatred of this version of . She hates the injustice that this society imposes on others.
"Calamity Witch" My title slips from my lips, a strange but at the sa ti familiar title. Apparently, this version of had the talent to be a magical girl to the point where I awakened magic at just 14 years old.
I see the whole story of "my" life, a bullied girl who suffered bullying for being different, but who always tried her best, only to co ho and be beaten by the father who "blad" for my mother abandoning us.
Even with all this, "I" still tried my best to help others and be kind, even though this injustice was ignored by society, I continued to try to be good.
But "my" hopes were shattered in the first few days after discovering my powers. When I discovered them, I realized I could be a magical girl, but when I tried to be one, I ended up discovering that my power is not that of a heroine.
After all, who would want to be saved by a girl who controls corpses and uses them, ignoring their wills.
My power was considered dishonorable and repulsive, not even the 3 magical girls who are so just accepted an addition to the team that had this kind of power.
They who claim to be justice never saved when I needed it, and then they just judged the power I didn't even choose to have, when all I tried to do was be good.
"This... is Sayuri's fault, isn't it?" I murmur when I see these mories. Ironically, everything always connects to death in so way.
My hair and eyes are always black, I always have pale skin, and even my na is related to death.
In the end, I bet most of the powers I can have also connect to death in so way.
"Why do I always have to go through injustices..." I say with hatred in my voice. The hatred from this life accumulates with the anger of the previous worlds as I tightly grasp the bed sheets. This is just so unfair.
I was cursed for my mistake, but the punishnt is thousands of tis heavier than my mistake.
Why even in other worlds "I" have miserable lives to the point where "I" was treated this way, even though I was so kind.
The "" of the first world undoubtedly made a mistake, but after the first world, I easily paid for my mistake, and in the second world I even did good deeds, so why do I have to go through this shit in every world?
"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM , SAYURI?" I yell into the void, my voice carrying pure hatred and injustice over everything.
"DO YOU WANT TO SEE KNEELING DOWN BEGGING FOR YOUR FORGIVENESS? IF THAT'S ALL, I'LL DO IT, IF YOU WANT TO SEE BEGGING FOR APOLOGIES FOR MY MISTAKE, I'LL DO IT." Tears stream down my face as I scream angrily.
"WHY ARE YOU MAKING GO THROUGH ALL THIS... it's... so unfair." I know I made a mistake, but even though I made a mistake, the price I've paid for the mistake is too high for to bear.
Humans weren't made to experience death more than once, but so far I've experienced death 4 tis, counting the original world.
I feel as if my soul and mind are fragnting with each world. The accumulation of mories of different lives and different personalities is nothing pleasant.
And even with all this, I understand the pain of this version of . The "" of this world doesn't steal because I want things, and I don't destroy things just because I like chaos.
The "" of this world just wants to be noticed by the world, just wants the world to know that I exist, just wants those who will never feel the pain to also feel it.
Wants the injustices to return to those who committed them, and for them to realize the pain they cause to others with their hypocrisy, because in the end the world is rotten while people take everything from each other.
In the end, if everyone is rotten, the right path is what no one does, so I only have hatred and disdain.
Even my villain organization is composed 100% of dead people, because the "" of this world has lost faith in humanity.
To the point where I can now only feel comfortable around the dead, who I know will always obey and never betray or hurt .
"Sayuri... forgive ... p-please, I don't want to die anymore" I say with a tearful voice. I'm tired of dying and coming back, it adds an indescribable weight to .
The act of dying and returning is sothing terrible that no being should ever go through, it's sothing I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
I lie on the bed, crying. I think that since I started this hateful cycle, this is the first ti I've cried like this, pouring out my feelings so clearly.
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