Jeremy could hear the pain in her voice. Chloe was always strong, or at least, she liked to appear strong. But now, she let go of her ego and cried in front of him while telling him the words he believed she hadn’t told anyone before. First love? He wouldn’t deny that thpse words didn’t make him feel a pang of jealousy. But he tried to imagine how he would live if Chloe died and worse of all, if she died because of him. He probably would go insane. So he understood her. Only those who could love genuinely, could understand her predicant.
"I understand. I understand you perfectly."
"No you don’t! You will never understand this. Have you ever made a mistake that made you want to kill yourself? A mistake that didn’t only bring pain to you but also to others?" She asked in between tears.
"Maybe I haven’t made that kind of mistake before," He started after considering her question for a mont. "But I know soone who has." He looked deeply into her eyes with his hands still holding her shoulders.
"Everyone makes mistakes Chloe. How do I put this... it makes the world balanced."
"I killed soone Jeremy! His mother is living in misery. You can’t understand that. What it ans to live with that guilt, what it ans to be bullied and also looked down on because whenever I have sothing working for , they all think ’it’s because of her parents’. Everyone has been looking down on from the very beginning. Including my parents. I’m not sure you understand any of that!"
Jeremy realised this was more than just guilt now. She was opening up to him. Everything that had been bottled up inside of her for a long ti. She was finally releasing it.
When she finally stopped to catch her breath, he sighed and began to speak again.
"My mother wasn’t the best woman in the world." His smile was sad, but he was also trying to encourage her.
"She was... what people would call morally..." He shook his head, trying to find the correct word. "Corrupt. I think?"
Chloe listened to him attentively. This was the first ti he was telling her more about his mother other than the fact that she had cancer and died.
He let go of her shoulders, sighed again, before looking ahead as he narrated.
"She fell in love with a married man and had ." He confessed, surprising Chloe.
"A lot of people called her out for being shaless, called nas and said all sort of hurtful words."
"She cried a lot. Apologizing to every night for bringing pain. But you know what she told ? She said she didn’t regret having . She only regretted the abusive words said to ."
"She said she was ready to accept more insults, a thousand tis more than what she received, but she was happy to have ." He smiled painfully.
"Because of that, I could bear everything done to . I tried to ignore everything even though it was difficult. I didn’t have it easy Chloe. Growing up wasn’t easy at all." He turned to look at her.
"Must... have been hard." Chloe managed to say.
He laughed. It was a short laugh which didn’t reach his eyes.
"Actually, the worse part began when my mum fell for another married man. Then she had Ellie."
This ti, Chloe’s eyes shone.
"I know right? One would think she learnt her lessons the first ti."
"He also abandoned by mother. She cried everyday, every night. She hated herself. For falling for the wrong guys, for making mistakes, for bringing us pain."
"But people make mistakes Chloe." He held her shoulder again.
"There are so mistakes we have made that brought us good luck, why do we have to kill ourselves because of the ones which weren’t good?"
"I couldn’t hate her for it." He shook his head, releasing her shoulders. "I never did bla her. She was still the best to . And I loved her more because I knew she needed more."
Chloe wanted to ask him questions, but she didn’t even know where to start from or what to ask. She never thought his family had been like that. Besides, he was so close with Ellie that people would think they were made out of the sa pod. She wouldn’t have guessed they didn’t share the sa father. "Williams?" Chloe asked, referring to their surna.
"It’s my mother’s maiden na." He inford her. "She was called Susanna Williams."
"What about... your fathers?" She asked, rembering he hadn’t ntioned anything about an older male figure ever since they t.
"Both are with their real families." He said with a smile.
"Can you stop smiling even when you are really down?" She asked quietly.
Jeremy laughed. "I don’t like people seeing sad."
Chloe decided to ignore that. "Did your fathers try to reach out?" She asked.
He noticed she no longer looked as awful as she looked earlier, she was simply curious.
"Well, at least mine did. At first." He said, rembering the past.
"I got into the university, thanks to him, even though I wasn’t interested in accepting favours from him. It was my mother’s wish before she died. She wanted to."
"Then I guess you have a rich father? Just anyone cannot pull the strings he pulled to get you into our school."
"Well," Jeremy stopped talking and started the car. It beca clear to Chloe that she didn’t want to talk about him.
"Since your mother died... did your father try to... I don’t know..." She shrugged. "It’s fine if you do not want to talk about it." She added imdiately.
"Be there for ?" Jeremy asked, completing her question.
"Let’s say, he wanted to be a good father at one point, wanted to move into his house. But... he wanted just . My mother made us promise her before she died that we would follow if our father’s ca for us. Apparently, she wasn’t thinking about anything else but our future. She didn’t think about what it would an for Ellie and I. So when the man she had with said he wanted just , I knew then that not all dying wishes were ant to be respected."
"You are a good brother." Chloe said. "And a good person in general." She added.
They both stared at each other for a while before she slowly spread her arms wide.
"What?" He asked in confusion.
"I guess you need a hug? Hurry up before I change mind." She said sternly.
He looked at her in surprise before skeptically joining the embrace.
"Wow!" He whispered with his eyes close.
"It’s so nice hugging you. I can’t believe I hugged your brother before you." He complained.
"What?"
"Nothing." He said with a sheepish smile and held her tightly to his body.
"It’s going to be fine Chloe, I promise I’ll protect you."
Maybe it hadn’t been a bad idea bringing him along after all. Chloe thought as her lips curved slightly.
"Thank you Jeremy." She said for the first ti, sincerely.
"And I always knew you weren’t smart enough to get a scholarship to study in our school." She said lightly, making him chuckle. His contagious laughter made her begin to laugh as well. And just like that...
She had hope that just maybe, everything would be okay eventually.
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