(Karsten)
What the fuck did she just do?
Stupid and dumb, that’s how I felt under her scrutinising gaze as she stared down at with such pure, undiluted hatred.
Oh! She was smart, and I had underestimated her.
She called here on purpose to expose my lies, to expose my identity.
She completely left dazed. I never even realised that she had figured out who I was.
Flabbergasted, I tried to snatch the mask from her hand, but the damage had already been done.
She climbed down from and scrambled away, putting distance between us.
That teasing smile she had going was replaced by pure rage as she held my mask like one holds a lizard by its tail.
"So this is your brilliant idea of fucking . You singled out on that draw, didn’t you?" She snorted out a hysterical laugh.
Pain, such intense pain, lined her voice.
Slowly, I rose and tried to take a step towards her.
"Not another step, Karsten. I don’t want you anywhere near ."
Seed like she put two and two together and I was more fucked then I could realise.
I raised my hands, showing her I ant her no harm as she remained near the apartnt door, her other hand now resting on the handle.
She distrusted , apparently a lot. She was ready to flee if I dared take another step.
"Arata, please. Let explain," I calmly said, keeping eye contact with her but keeping my position.
I didn’t wish to scare her.
Fear and disgust reflected back at , and she was right not to trust .
I hadn’t given her much else, except violating her trust.
"Explain what? How you chose by spying after knowing I was your employee," she asked, and guilt wrapped itself around in abundance.
"That your lust is so magnanimous that you needed to fuck with two different personalities? How could you?" She accused, trembling but standing her ground. Rolling up my mask, she threw it back towards my face. I caught it before it hit the ground.
"It’s not like that, Arata. I swear, if we can just sit and talk..."
But she cut off. Pain was making waves on her face, and that was akin to driving a stake through my chest.
"Talk? About what? How you made a fool of ? How you laughed at my expense? What a stupid girl, she doesn’t even know it’s under the mask. Isn’t this what you thought?"
I slowly shook my head.
We were back to the events of 15th December, but this ti I wasn’t going to hurt her, but co clean.
"Never, I never laughed at you, Arata. It just began as fun when I found out you follow my hidden persona and.."
My words were again left incomplete.
"And you decided it would be fun to fuck her, make her feel special and if she would start to feel sothing, just dump her. One way or the other, you wanted to ruin . Didn’t you?"
Ruin her? I would never even dream of that. She was my Phoenix, my Queen.
Her accusations hurt deeply, she had such a low opinion of now, but who was I to bla but myself for this?
"Noo! That was not my intention, Arata, I swear. In the start, it was just a distraction, but then I began to feel these emotions I had never experienced before."
She let out another bitter laugh that didn’t touch her cold blue eyes. I had never seen that look in her blue peepers. They were always warm, hurt and disappointed, even, but today they had frozen like the sa Neptune she loved associating with.
She faced , keeping her spine erect, although I knew a part of her was terrified of . Because my position didn’t appear very favourable at that mont.
"Bullshit! The mighty Karsten can’t get involved with a woman who likes to sleep around. That’s what you accused of, right? Even though you knew that the only man I slept with was you. How dare you?"
Her face twisted with a mixture of wrath and exasperation. She was right, and I didn’t even have words to defend myself. What could I even say to her that I was a loser and a bastard, in the literal sense?
I was so embroiled in keeping her away from that I had ended up hurting her to the point she may never trust again. Even if I were to confess my feelings at that mont, she would think I was joking and would end up hating more.
"I am sorry, Arata. That was a mistake on my part. That should have never been said, but believe , I didn’t an it."
She scoffed, her lips twisted in mockery.
"And here I thought I could trust you, him." She pointed towards the mask, "Or whatever. Thank you for opening my eyes and showing I should never trust a man like you, especially one who wears a stupid mask. How was I so blinded?"
She disappointedly shook her head, and each of her syllables was like a knife which twisted deeper into my heart, leaving nothing but a mountain of regrets.
How did we arrive at this point? Just a few hours ago, I had promised myself I would confess everything, and yet fate had other plans.
I needed to have her in my arms and comfort her, but any step from and I knew she would open the door and rush out. With how things were looking and the way her eyes calculated my every move, it was very likely she believed I was her stalker, too.
All fingers pointed towards because I had spied on her, lied to her multiple tis, broken her heart and now all this plethora of Twisted Rider.
"Believe , Arata, it’s all my fault. I accept. Whatever punishnt you decide for . I would accept that, too. But just hear out once, with an open mind. I will explain why I did whatever I did."
She simply shook her head.
"That ti is gone, I simply want you to leave. I can’t even see your face right now."
Slowly, she opened the door and pointed outside.
Ti, that’s what she needed to calm down. I knew she wouldn’t believe a word I would say to her right then, but after a few days, maybe she would give a chance. I might have to take help from Ma too.
My shoulders slumped as I grabbed my helt and willed myself to move towards the open door.
Every step was heavy, laden with guilt and hatred that I felt deeply for myself.
Pausing near her, I turned my head to face her.
She watched so wearily. Icy revulsion and loathing flickered behind her pupils.
"Arata... I."
"Don’t care, get out, Karsten..." she told flatly. Never had I experienced such a blinding pain in my heart. That was the pain of my heart breaking and hers too.
Both of us bled on the threshold of her door as I stepped out, and the door slamd shut behind .
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