(Karsten)
I didn’t understand the suddenness of Arata’s decision. I thought we had a great understanding of keeping it casual and pleasurable for both of us.
Why did she suddenly decide to not sleep with anymore?
Was the sex disappointing or less thrilling without a mask on my face? Because she certainly didn’t tell Azul she wouldn’t be sleeping with him anymore.
Her reason didn’t seem believable and I wondered why she had decided to pull the plug on .
Did my Karsten persona seem less desirable?
I knew she wasn’t very keen on so aspects of my personality, but recently, we had been connecting well and having fun on nurous occasions.
I couldn’t shake the disappointnt her words had brought . After dinner, I headed up and longingly stared at her door which had been shut.
Huffing a sigh, I entered my room and closed the door. She was so near and yet so far away from .
Changing into night trousers, I flopped on the bed and noticed my phone had notifications.
Opening them, I found them to be from Arata for Azul. Greedily, I clicked on her ssages.
{Hey! Can we speak if you are free?}
Excitent ran through like a high-voltage current, and my fingers automatically danced on the keypad.
{Of course, what’s up? I missed talking to you, Phoenix.} I hit send and waited, knowing she would be awake.
{I am just frustrated, emotionally and sexually. I did sothing and now I don’t know how to fix that.}
I wanted to see if she would reveal that she was almost kidnapped or that she slept with Karsten. I knew that she might be having doubts and wouldn’t overshare.
{Talk to ; I am here for you without any judgnt. Whatever you did or happened just lay it out on .} I typed back and she read my ssage instantly.
Three dots appeared, showing she was typing, and I just greedily stared and stared until her text dropped.
{Sothing happened and I got hurt which led to sleep with Karsten...}
I smiled; she still trusted Azul, or she would have never shared this.
{You are an adult, Phoenix. You can make your own life choices. Just tell he satisfied you?}
Now this was a mont of truth. Ti to find out how satisfied I left her. My heartbeat accelerated on its own, eagerly waiting to see how she would answer.
{Ohh! He satisfied all right. It was more than just aningless sex; he deeply cared for , too. Maybe I was too vulnerable but I wasn’t expecting him to be this gentle with .}
Her words eased the burden my heart had been carrying, that maybe I had been unable to satisfy her.
{Then what’s the problem, Curvy Rose? I thought you would be happy that he satisfied you. Besides, you can choose to be with whover you wish if you are not looking for a relationship.}
She took her ti to reply, but once I read her ssage, it gave a lot to think about.
{The problem is I don’t want to get hurt. After Andy, I thought I wouldn’t be ready for a relationship for a long long ti and just keep it casual. But it was easier said than done. I am afraid now so I told Karsten that I can’t be physically involved with him.}
So that’s what she was afraid of. Believing it could lead to sothing else, sothing like attachnt and feelings?
Her fears were valid but I had already inford her since the beginning that it was a fake relationship.
The question was, were both of us treating it as a fake relationship at this point?
The possessiveness that had crawled inside my heart and the jealousy Arata had exhibited while seeing with Amanda spoke otherwise.
Was she right to be guarded?
Could it evolve into sothing else if we weren’t careful?
I thought it already had. My hungry heart wouldn’t ease without her, and under no circumstances did I want to let her go.
No, a monster like couldn’t fall in love, especially with soone like her.
She was like a flickering candle in my chaos and I couldn’t dim that light of hers.
The things that were required of because of my family heritage, I couldn’t fathom being with Arata.
Mom had been right about this, that Urisa understood the family traditions, she wouldn’t question it. But Arata was from a different world, and yet I was dragging her along.
Selfish, I was so very selfish.
{That’s a correct decision. The urge to guard your heart is understandable. But I am always here. You can be open with , right? Your heart won’t get hurt because I will stay as long as you want and the way you want.}
Sothing jagged at my heart, and I could only pray that she wouldn’t cut off, too.
I needed her, at least I would have a reason to cling on. If not as Karsten then at least as Azul. She regarded Azul as a fantasy, soone she could just turn to to fulfil her sexual desires, but Karsten felt real to her. She had to work with , live with , and see all the ti.
{I need you Azul. If you have ti for then I want to do a video call. I want to see you, pleasure yourself. Is that possible?}
My heart leapt up in my mouth. My Blue Rose was making a request; she was so frustrated and yet instead of seeking out, she just wanted to see Azul to curb her frustration.
I was no one to deny her when she made such a request.
{Of course, Phoenix. Anything for you. Give fifteen minutes and I will call you. Let set up the room.} I texted back and leapt from the bed so I could rush to my hidden room in the basent.
Her ssage dropped.
{I am waiting, Azul. Give a good show.}
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