Episode 68: "The Day I Told a Troll to Co at (And It Actually Did)"
From sowhere in the chaos, a voice tore through the air.
"Help! Sobody—help ! I’m stuck—"
Do-hyun’s head jerked toward the sound before his brain could slap on the brakes. There—beneath a collapsed roof, a guy was trapped under what used to be sobody’s shop sign. And directly above him, squatting on the tilted remains of the wall like it owned the block, was a monster troll. Big. Wet. Ugly. D-rank. The kind of size where if you called it "Attack on Titan style," nobody would correct you.
The guy’s voice cracked. "Help—! Mom—! Help ee!"
"Do-hyun." His dad’s tone had that rare, low weight to it. "You have to be rational, kid. You can’t help anyone right now. We move, or we die."
Every part of Do-hyun knew the man was right. Number Three was missing an arm. Number Two was the only shield left for the family. And him? Throwing himself at a troll was the fastest shortcut to the grave.
And yet—
"Do-hyun-ah, let’s go!" his mom urged, eyes darting between him and the street turning into a warzone.
"Boy—" his father barked, already herding them toward the safer alley.
Do-hyun didn’t move. His heartbeat was pounding hard enough to feel in his teeth.
He turned to his mom. "Go down and lock the door. Number Three will protect you. Number Two’s coming with ."
His sister exploded. "You’re insane! You’re risking all of us! You’ve lost your mind!"
"I’m a hunter," Do-hyun said, grabbing the nearest weapon at hand — an aluminum baseball bat so dented it looked like it had survived three divorces. "And I’m not backing down."
Without waiting for permission — like permission was a thing that existed anymore — he sprinted toward the screaming man.
Rain was falling in fat, dirty drops, plaster dust turning to mud under his shoes. Overhead, monsters prowled like it was their private buffet. But a hunter only had one job. And that job wasn’t "run."
BAM — the bat connected with the troll’s eye. It made a sound halfway between a cow in labor and a diesel engine choking out.
"Number Two! Get him to a safe place!" Do-hyun shouted, pointing to the pinned man. "Our job is to kill monsters!"
Sothing clicked in him then. Maybe stupidity. Maybe bravery. Sa difference.
"Co at , you piece of trash!" he bellowed.
The troll froze for half a second. Then it actually did co at him.
Oh.
Cool.
This was gonna hurt.
It was a club fight now — except the troll’s weapon was a tree trunk wrapped in spikes, and Do-hyun’s was a secondhand bat that still slled faintly of ran.
Sowhere nearby, sothing watching this little showdown echoed his challenge, a deep, guttural mimic: "Co... at... ... you... trash..."
Do-hyun blinked. "Wait. It talks?"
Great. Because a troll with muscle was bad. But a troll with brains? That was nightmare fuel.
Number Two was already at the trapped man’s side, tossing broken slabs aside like cheap puzzle pieces.
"You can walk?" Number Two barked.
"Y-yeah!" the man stamred. Normally, he wouldn’t have survived having a whole storefront collapse on him. But "normally" had retired the mont the sky started raining trolls.
Back at center stage, Do-hyun saw the troll’s massive fingers wrap around its weapon. A swing from that would turn him into hunter purée.
"Number Two!" Do-hyun yelled without taking his eyes off the monster. "Damn it—are you pulling the cursed sword or what?!"
Yeah. That cursed sword. The one they got off the D-rank fishman. The one they’d been too scared to use because it was about as trustworthy as a politician promising free rent.
Number Two’s answer was to toss sothing toward him — a dull, oily crystal.
The fishman loot. The permanent 5 Strength crystal. The one with the tiny catch of "oh by the way, you’ll turn into a monster if you use it."
Do-hyun caught it. Felt the hum inside, like it was a heartbeat not his own.
Perfect.
Terrible.
Exactly what he needed.
No ti for picking flavors or slling the thing or even checking if it was legal to give this to a living person and Devil’s Rock was already in my hand while Number Two’s blank clueless face was right in front of so the math was way too simple and I told him to eat it you damn brat then shoved it in without hesitation. Number Two chewed it like a snack from the vending machine and the change was instant nightmare material as he was still in his combat suit but glowing red like a warning sign with every vein standing up like furious snakes and heat pouring from him so strong the ground stead and his eyes went full demonic flash mode like he had skipped every tutorial and jumped straight to the final boss cutscene. I figured we would get a few minutes of build up maybe so screaming or smoke then a big transformation but instead the upgrade slamd in instantly as his sword darkened while his aura scread murder and the air stank of burnt copper.
I asked him if he was still on my side because priorities mattered and he said yes of course without even blinking which even made Trollzilla stop to look because his big monster eyes narrowed like he was trying to figure out whether this was a party mber or a side quest gone wrong. The Devil’s Rock didn’t give any horns or glow but my stats were surging like I had swallowed a gym as strength went through the roof and speed humd through my legs and reflexes lit up on overdrive and no side effects so illegal loot was now officially a blessing. Trollzilla clearly didn’t like the confidence because he dragged his massive mace so the tal screeched on the ground before picking up a boulder half my size and throwing it like a baseball which I barely dodged as it smashed through buildings like they were made of bread and while my ears rang a shadow fell over as a giant hand ca down.
Number Two’s sword carved deep into the troll like barbecue at and for a second I thought we were done but the hand regenerated in a sick twist of muscle and bone before blocking the next hit and the counterattack was brutal as Trollzilla swung short and sent Number Two into a street lamp bending it like a straw. I decided this was how we were playing and ran at him even though I wasn’t sure if it was courage or stupidity but at least he was slower than Fish Man who had speed hacks so I yelled Steel Jaw Special and hit him in the face with everything my new stats could give which cracked his teeth and staggered him but he healed again like he had saved it for dramatic effect before blocking my follow up and knocking across the street with a clean hit.
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