Mushoku Tensei Volume 13 10 — Facing Forward

Part 1

A certain tavern,

four people were sitting at a table.

Amongst the hustling and bustling inside the bar, only that place was gloomy.

All four of them had a dark expression.

"…So Paul died, huh."

A woman with luxurious blonde hair and long ears.

Elinalize was whispering to herself.

"Yeah, he died."

A man from the Magic Race that had the face of a monkey.

Gisu said that as he looked at the mug he was holding.

"He died protecting his son. That's his true wish."

A male dwarf that had a burly beard.

Talhand replied without care.

However, he had no tension in his voice.

Even though he drank enough of his favorite drink to beco wasted, there was no signs of him being drunk.

"With Zenith like this too, Paul wouldn't have been cheerful."

At Gisu's words, Talhand went silent and focused on his drink.

Zenith had beco a cripple, to which they had received quite a shock.

As people that knew Zenith to be soone bright and lively, the shock was even bigger to them.

Nevertheless, they were adventurers.

They were familiar with death.

Even if Zenith had died, they would have tolerated and accepted that fact.

"Well, she survived. Perhaps, there may be a chance to heal her."

Talhand said that without any sense of confidence.

There have sotis been tales of soone becoming a cripple due to a monster's poison.

However, there were no tales about them being healed.

If the neck was cut off, or if the head was smashed,

Even God-class healing magic would not be able to heal that.

"Even if she can walk, or talk, her mories won't return."

Elinalize said that as if giving up on that idea.

"What, Elinalize. It seems you know a lot about this."

"…That's just the way it is."

Elinalize didn't explain it in detail.

She has lived much longer than Talhand or Gisu.

She said that as if she had seen cases similar to this one.

That's why she knows.

However, as if to feel that so form of hope wasn't gone, Talhand did not press any further.

"…So, the problem now, is that son of his."

Talhand spoke.

"Yeah…"

Hearing that, his voice went up with a sigh.

Rudeus Greyrat.

Paul's son, although it has been close to a week, had not stepped out of his room.

"That guy, he's got no energy, and doesn't wanna do anything."

"It's like he's a cripple himself."

Elinalize and Gisu said in agreent.

Rudeus had beco a shell of his forr self.

Even when calling out to him, he did not answer.

With hollow eyes, he said [Oh] and rely nodded.

"Rudi was quite attached to Paul."

The girl from the Magic Race with blue hair.

Roxy Migurdia, who had been silent up to now, whispered softly.

What she saw in her mind was a very young Rudeus who was learning swordsmanship from Paul.

Rudeus continued to swing his sword with a disappointed face no matter how many tis Paul beat him down.

It was a boy that had a bundle of talent.

For soone that hadn't spent such ti with that family, it was a dazzling scenery that would make anyone feel envious.

"Well, I can understand Senpai's feelings. But, it'll be bad at this rate."

"That's right."

Rudeus has not taken a single bite since that day.

Even though he was encouraged to eat, he nodded with an [Oh], and didn't eat at all.

At the minimum, though he was drinking water, it was clear as day he was becoming increasingly haggard.

His eyes were sunk, his cheeks hollowed, one would think that he looked like death.

If he was left alone like this, he'll really die.

Everybody here thought that.

"…We must cheer him up again sohow."

At Roxy's words, Gisu glanced at Elinalize.

"Hey you, don't you do [That] all the ti in tis like these?"

"I can't do that."

Elinalize replied imdiately.

The one who didn't understand [That] was Roxy.

"What can't be done?"

"…"

Gisu and Talhand looked at each other, then shut themselves up.

Roxy knit her eyebrows in puzzlent.

"Elinalize, do you have so kind of plan?"

"…I do not."

Elinalize answered that like she wanted to get sothing over with.

"Well, anyway."

Gisu was scratching his cheek.

Talhand was drinking his beer like it was sothing interesting.

"Well, anyway. In tis like this, it's best to forget by going all out to play."

"Play?"

"n are self-interested creatures. By drinking beer, sleeping with girls, and feeling good, they imdiately feel the joy of living, and would feel better again."

"Ah…! Ahh, I see."

Even Roxy can understand what was being said.

She could understand what Elinalize, who was attracted to n, would do.

"I, I see. M-, n are like that! I see! I see…"

Roxy was looking down with a red face.

When a man feels down, he makes love to a woman.

It feels like she had heard sothing like this before.

Especially for rcenaries, before and after the battle, would buy a girl to distract their fears.

There were even many adventurers who would head to brothels imdiately after a near-death experience on a quest.

However, thinking of Rudeus and Elinalize getting together, Roxy was left with depression in her heart.

"Elinalize. Didn't you say this in the past? That you were good at comforting heartbroken n."

"I did say that."

Roxy was thinking.

Certainly, Elinalize was good at that.

She has nurous relationships with n on a routine basis, and have heard that she has also quite the technique.

With soone as experienced as her, it was possible to make Rudeus get back on his feet.

Though it was mortifying, it's sothing that can't be helped.

"That's rare. If it was the regular you, you wouldn't have left Senpai alone right now."

She couldn't bear looking at Rudeus right now.

Even Elinalize wanted to help and comfort him.

However, she understood.

If she used Rudeus's grief as a reason to make love to him here, what will they do when they return?

Betraying Clif, betraying Sylphy.

Rudeus would not take that calmly.

"Even I have partners that I can't do."

"Why is it that you can't do it with Rudi?"

Roxy glares at Elinalize.

"Even though Rudi is suffering so much…"

"Well…"

Elinalize started to speak, then realized.

That Roxy didn't know.

"Because Rudeus's wife is my granddaughter."

"…Eh!?"

Roxy lost her grip on her mug.

The mug fell on the table with a clank.

While spilling its contents, the mug rolled on the table, fell on the ground, and made a dry sound.

"Eh, Rudi, is he married?"

"Yeah. He's married. He's about to have a child."

"I, I see… w, well it's obvious isn't it, Rudi being of age and all…"

Roxy was unable to hide her trembling, and picked up the mug on the floor.

Then, wanting to drink what's inside, she realized it spilled, then ordered another one.

"Ah, please give the strongest one in the house."

Roxy folded her arms with her eyes spinning.

Marriage.

Of course Rudeus would get married, yeah.

It's sothing normal.

Yeah.

She kept talking to herself like that.

Then, rembering her own actions in the labyrinth, she grit her teeth.

She thought that Rudi was free and took the initiative.

She had wanted to make a good impression, but she was not treated as an obstacle because she was rely an acquaintance in the end.

It must have been laughable and ridiculous, being right beside him.

She wanted to scream, [Why didn't anybody tell this?!]

But, she kept the complaint to the back of her throat.

Right now she wasn't worrying about herself.

"B, But, even though he's married, this is an ergency, surely even once would be fine?"

Roxy did not even understand what she herself was saying.

Just that she felt that she wanted Rudeus to get better again.

"…Maybe that is so, but I cannot do it."

Elinalize said that with so frustration.

Even seeing her frustrated face, Roxy could not understand her feelings.

"…Here you go."

"Ah, thanks."

There was the drink that she had ordered.

Roxy stirred the mug, then drank it all in one go.

A burning sensation spread in her bone-dried throat.

It was frighteningly tasty, showing that the body really wanted that alcohol.

"Besides, for to Rudeus…"

Elinalize closed her mouth there.

"Well, even if I can't do it, wouldn't it be fine if Gisu brings him to a brothel around here?"

"I wonder. Making love to soone he doesn't know, I doubt Rudeus would get better with that."

"Well, what that child really needs, is soone reliable to lean on."

"Then, Lilia?"

"Like I said…"

"Yeah, I get it, don't be so angry."

Elinalize's heart was complex.

She doesn't want to interfere with Sylphy's marriage.

However, she wants to help Rudeus.

If she makes love to Rudeus, she may be able to cheer him up again.

She was confident in that.

However, she felt certain that is a mistake, and that it would be sothing that cannot be undone.

If it was the usual, she would play the part of the villain.

Up till now, she had done so many tis.

However, when she felt that she did not want to betray Cliff here, she could no longer do it.

"…"

Then, silence followed.

Only the quiet sound of drinking continued.

There was nobody that called out to this uneven group of four.

Only over there was it as quiet as the night.

"In any case, Zenith had beco like that.

I want Senpai to hurry and get back on his feet, then we can say good-bye to this town."

With Gisu's words, the remaining three sighed.

"You're right…"

They were all tired.

It's been six years.

Six long years.

Since the Teleportation Incident, six years have passed.

It was definitely not a short period of ti.

Heading from the Central Continent towards the Magic Continent, then crossing from the Magic Continent to the Begaritto Continent.

And, finally.

Searching in the Teleportation Labyrinth.

There were tough and painful tis.

However, all of it was sothing one could look back and laugh at.

Certainly, the Teleportation Incident was an unfortunate event.

But, for them, it wasn't full of just misfortune.

The party that had split up gathered up little by little.

Elinalize and Talhand partied up once again.

Gisu moved for the sake of Paul.

Paul and Talhand got along again.

And, ultimately, Paul and Elinalize fought side by side once more.

Thinking that these things would never happen again, with Paul as their center, they got together again.

After rescuing Zenith, they would locate Ghyslaine, and everybody would drink together.

That is what everybody had thought.

However, Paul died.

With just that, they felt a sense of weariness that can't be described.

Like anything and everything had been ruined.

Even though they spent so much ti building up to that.

The sense of weariness in that all had been trampled in the very end.

It wasn't just Rudeus who had beco lethargic.

"Well, he's Rudeus, the son of Paul and Zenith. He may be depressed right now, but he'll eventually co around on his own."

"…I hope you're right."

"…"

At Talhand's words, two people nodded vaguely.

They knew Rudeus's weakness.

Nevertheless, he's already 16, no longer a child.

Even though it has been painful, his heart is that of a splendid adult.

Death visits everybody, and it is sothing adventurers are familiar with.

Parents will soday die.

Anybody will overco that.

That's why, even Rudeus will eventually do so too.

"…"

The only person that wasn't nodding was Roxy.

She had rembered.

What happened a long ti ago.

Part 2

--- Rudeus's POV---

When I looked out the window, it was evening.

I sat on the bed absent-mindedly.

How many days have passed since then?

It doesn't really matter.

No matter how many days it has been.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the doorway.

"Rudi, may I?"

Looking up, Roxy was standing there.

Guess I left the door open.

"…Sensei."

It felt like it's been forever since I spoke.

Though my voice was so hoarse that I didn't know if Roxy heard it or not.

Roxy walked briskly towards .

It felt strange.

I wonder why.

Ahh, I see, she doesn't have her robe on today.

She was wearing a very thin top and bottom clothing.

How unusual.

"Excuse ."

Saying that with a firm tone, Roxy sat next to .

For a while, we sat in silence for a few seconds.

As if choosing her words, Roxy whispered.

"For a change of pace, would you like to co out with ?"

"…?"

"Yeah, there are a lot of magical items that you can't find on any other continents. If we look around here, it could turn out to be quite fun, you know?"

"No…"

I wasn't in the mood.

"I, I see."

"Sorry."

Roxy's invitation.

I understand she was trying to cheer up.

Normally, I'd follow her like a dog.

However, I don't feel like it right now.

"…"

"…"

Again, silence filled the room.

Again, as if choosing her words, Roxy whispered.

"…It's regrettable what happened to Paul and Zenith."

Regrettable.

Is it fine to settle this with just the word regrettable?

Well, for Roxy, it's rely soone else's business.

"I also rember the ti when the five of us lived in Buina Village quite well.

To , it may have been the happiest ti of my life."

"…"

Roxy said that quietly, and held my hand.

Roxy's hand was hot.

"When I was an adventurer, it wasn't rare for people close to to die. I feel your pain, because I also experienced it."

"…Please don't lie."

I had t Roxy's parents before.

Those two were healthy.

I hadn't heard them talk about having any other children.

"Aren't your father and mother well?"

"Let's see, though the last ti I t them was a few years ago, both my parents are fine. They could live for another hundred years."

"Then, you don't understand!"

I felt soone rising up from the bottom of my heart, and I shook off Roxy's hand.

"Please don't say such thoughtless things!"

I yelled in a loud voice.

As I yelled, I felt my remaining amount of power co out of my body.

Even while Roxy looked taken aback, she whispered with a serious expression.

"The one who died, was when I was just starting out as an adventurer. He had partied with , and taught the basics of adventuring. Though he wasn't my parent, I considered him as an older brother."

"…"

"He died while covering for ."

"…"

"I was also in distress."

"…"

"That's why, I can at least understand a fragnt of your feelings."

Then, you don't understand after all.

You don't know my feelings being torn between my past self who reincarnated and the current situation.

Honestly, I don't think I can get over this.

Even if I know what Roxy is thinking that can make better again, I don't have the will to follow it through.

"When I lived at Buina Village, I was truly happy.

When I thought of going to the kingdom of Asura to work I couldn't find any jobs,

so then when I went to the countryside, and thought of planning to start as a teacher, Rudi was overflowing with talent, even Paul and Zenith treated warmly.

They may have been the ones that taught the actual warmth of a family."

Saying that, Roxy looked at my eyes.

Her eyes were clear.

"To , it was a second family."

Roxy got up from the bed as she said that.

She went behind , and when she knelt, she hugged my head closely.

"Rudi. I will share your sorrow with you."

I felt sothing soft at the back of my head.

I could hear Roxy's heartbeat thumping.

It was a relaxing sound.

I wonder why hearing this sound made feel relieved.

I wonder why I felt everything will be okay.

The sa goes for the sll.

Roxy's sll made at peace.

In such a hard ti, when I rember Roxy's sll, it mysteriously beca my support.

I wonder why.

The answer was coming out of my throat.

But it didn't co.

"I am your Shisho. Although I am a small and inadequate Shisho, I have lived longer than you, and am sturdy. I don't mind if you wish to lean on ."

I grabbed Roxy's hand in front of .

It was a small hand.

But, it felt big.

Looking at this hand also made feel at ease.

I wonder if I'll be more at ease if I was closer to her.

"Even if it's painful, if two people share it, it will beco lighter."

Roxy parted from as she said that.

Instinctively, I pulled Roxy's hand towards .

"Ah."

Her small body easily fell on my lap.

Our eyes t directly.

Her slightly sleepy eyes were wet with tears.

Her face was bright red, and her mouth was shut tight.

I placed my hand on her back and drew her closer.

The sound of Roxy's heartbeat was getting faster.

It was warm.

"It, it's okay, you know?"

I wonder what's okay.

"W, when males are grieving, when they sleep with a woman, I heard they would feel refreshed."

Who said that?

Ah, must be Elinalize.

What is Roxy saying at a ti like this?

"Won are the sa, they also want to forget painful things, and it's painful for when Paul died. If Rudi is okay with it, I don't mind at all if you sleep with ."

Roxy kept talking hurriedly.

"That's right. I want to forget about all this. But with a body that has no appeal… If you don't like it, you can go to a brothel you know?"

Roxy kept talking as if making excuses.

This person was a girl that I never ceased to respect.

If I did what I was told and slept with her, I wonder what it would be like.

"W, well, even though I look like this I'm very experienced, and I think I can do much better than the other little girls. We'll do this casually, just to wash away this bad mood, and just try it out for once…"

Roxy's incoherent words could not reach .

I was in the mood.

Just hearing her heartbeat I felt so much more relaxed.

If I get closer to her, I wonder if I would feel even more comfortable?

I was thinking of excuses like that.

"Ah, well, if you're talking about soone who would be better, I don't mind bowing to Elinalize…ah!"

I pushed Roxy down on the bed.

Very violently.

It might be that I was venting out all my anger.

---

Part 3

The next morning.

What I woke up to the first thing to was Roxy's sleeping face.

The innocent sleeping face of Roxy with her hair down.

At the sa ti, the thought [I did it now…] crossed my mind.

"Haa…"

I sighed.

What should I say to Sylphy…

"…"

My worries have increased by one.

But, for so reason, I felt like my vision beca clear again.

As if all my worries had been a dream.

I still had so feelings of depression within .

But this was not at my most depressed.

It could not even be compared to yesterday.

I wonder why.

I wonder if it's because the act of creating life healed the sadness of losing it?

"Mn."

Then, Roxy's eyes snapped open.

After she took a long hard look at who was in front of her, she squird as if trying to hide her body under the blanket.

"Good morning, Rudi…"

Then, she murmured while facing away.

"Um, how was it?"

Asking [How?], I won't lie.

I treated Roxy very violently.

Roxy being experienced was a flat-out lie.

Even so, she accepted everything, refusing to complain about the pain.

It's sothing I am grateful and apologetic for.

As soone who loves Sylphy, praising Roxy felt like a taboo.

To be frank, Roxy's body was small, and slightly did not match my size.

But, it would be a lie to say I didn't feel good.

Right now, I am certain I feel quite relaxed.

I do not have to lie and hurt Roxy's feelings.

"It felt great."

Roxy's face quickly turned red.

"Thank you very mu… no, not that, I wanted to ask if you felt a little better."

Oh, that.

I failed.

"Yeah."

"Then, if you hug in return, I'll be happy."

"…Yeah."

As I was told, I hugged Roxy.

Roxy's skin was soft, moist and a bit sticky.

She was sweating after all.

From her soft skin, I could hear Roxy's heartbeat.

It was a relaxing sound.

"Rudi's arms are quite burly. It's as if you weren't a magician at all."

"…I've been training."

Roxy said that while stroking my chest and arms.

With such a cute act, my love for Sylphy wavered just a bit.

I slowly pulled away from Roxy's body.

Then, I got up.

I felt like I wanted to ask her sothing.

"Roxy-sensei. May I ask sothing strange?"

"…What is it?"

She probably noticed the atmosphere around .

Roxy also got up with a serious face, and sat in a kneeling position on top of the bed.

A naked Roxy sitting on top of the bed in kneeling position.

Because it was so erotic that it might be bad, I turned away my gaze.

Covering my bottom half with a blanket, I continued to talk.

"This is just a made-up story…"

With that introduction,

I began to talk.

A story of a certain man.

As a fiction to the end.

A man who secluded himself when bad things happened to him when he was young.

He was close to twenty years old, and lived like trash while leeching off of his parents.

However, one day, his parents had suddenly died.

That man not only did not go to the funeral, but on the contrary did the worst thing a human being can do.

Seeing that, his other family mbers beat him up and threw him out of the house.

The man had lost everything, but luck brought him to a new land, and he turned over a new leaf, and devoted himself to change for the better.

His lifestyle was going well, and he thought that he would be happy if things kept like this.

But, currently right now, because of a big failure, he let a person important to him die.

Because of that, that man rembered his parents deaths.

That man only then had mourned his parents' deaths.

I told that kind of story.

The more I talked about this, it felt my heart was spewing out pus.

I wonder if I just wanted soone to hear this.

Was it sothing that easy, I wonder?

"…"

Roxy listened quietly.

Not cutting in with agreent, just silently listening.

"What do you think that man should do?"

"…"

Roxy remained silent.

She might not know how to respond when being told such a story all of a sudden.

There would be no way that she would believe that this was a story of my life.

She is a wise person, so she may think that there is a hidden aning to it.

"…If it was , I would go to my parents' graves. I don't think it's too late even now. The sa with talking to the other family mbers."

"But, the graves and the family mbers are far away, and he can't easily go to them. He may also be unable to return. That man has another life, he made a family in the new land, and he cherishes them dearly."

"He can't go back?"

"Yes. In the first place, the possibility that he can't go back is quite high."

Roxy again beca silent at that.

But, this ti it was short.

"In that case, there's nothing to be done. Now, he should take care of the family that's in front of him."

Roxy's words were awfully cliché.

They were words anybody could co up with and say.

It wasn't special or anything, just sothing that was obvious.

"Even Paul would have wished for you to do so, Rudi."

Roxy said sothing obvious in a matter-of-fact way.

Self-flattering.

Commonplace words.

Words that she heard from sowhere.

"Please face the future. Everybody is waiting for you."

But, my heart felt refreshed.

Yeah.

It was common.

The death of my parents in my previous life, and Paul's death as well.

This was sothing obvious.

There is no choice but to accept that and face forward.

I am living in this world.

And I will continue to live in this world.

Paul's death, and Zenith that beca a cripple.

The anxiety of going back and telling that to my waiting family in the north.

The anxiety of not knowing what to do now.

It was a future full of anxiety.

But, I mustn't run away.

I have no choice but to solve what's in front of right now.

Though I do not know specifically what I should do.

I have no choice but to solve them one by one.

Coming to this world, hadn't I already decided?

That in this world, I will live it to the fullest.

Then, I must not turn my eyes away.

No matter what kind of difficulties occur from now on, I will overco them.

It's no good if I don't do at least that.

Yes, I've realized once again.

Though realizing that, it's not like the pain subsided.

However, I felt that I broke out of sothing.

"Sensei."

"Yes."

"Thank you very much."

Again, Roxy has rescued .

Even giving thanks would not be enough.