The portal quickly shrank, and the group could see the mutant on the other side scrambling to run back toward them. But it was clear he was too late. All he could do was watch in despair as the portal closed, leaving him surrounded by an endless expanse of snow.
He was only wearing a raincoat, and all his other clothes had been blown to bits. In the -60°C environnt, his healing factor might keep him alive, but making it back here was impossible.
He would likely beco an ice block, buried under the snow. Maybe centuries later, an expedition team would find him, but for now, he was no longer a problem.
Deadpool, ever the opportunist, whipped out his phone and took a few quick pictures, capturing the mutant's hopeless expression. The flash of the cara montarily lit up the dark underground, making the mage and the doctor turn away in discomfort.
Completely oblivious to their reaction, Wade proudly showed off his phone, talking about posting updates, getting famous, and gaining subscribers—topics neither of them understood. The mood, however, lightened considerably.
"Save that for when you can actually go back. What's your task again?" Su Ming asked, crossing his arms and staring at him.
"Break the door, kill the people, finish the job?" Deadpool tilted his head, testing his mory before hesitantly replying, "Well, I killed the people, so that's done, right? Should we go grab a drink now? Mage, know any bars open in this typhoon? Got pizza or tacos around here? I worked up an appetite, and I could use a good nap. You know, we rcenaries are always overworked, especially , being so aweso. I'm drowning in jobs! Hahahaha!"
Su Ming grabbed Deadpool by the head and twisted it forcefully, directing his gaze toward the massive steel door in the distance. "The door's still there. You haven't even finished step one. Drinks can wait—get to work!"
"Ugh, fine. Can I at least expense my ammo? How am I supposed to restock here?" Deadpool grumbled as he twisted his head back into place, his neck cracking in several places—just a minor inconvenience. "Let check my inventory. When was the last ti I organized? Oh no, I left all my ammo in the taxi again."
He began rummaging through his pockets, which were just as bizarre as Batman's utility belt, pulling out all sorts of nonsensical items.
Batman's gadgets would help defeat enemies or escape danger.
Deadpool's gadgets, on the other hand, often did the opposite. His pockets might contain an inflatable pool, several boxes of ketchup, an Elvis-style costu, or even wigs and dresses for a quick disguise.
As for how useful any of these items would be in a fight, even Su Ming had no clue. He wasn't MacGyver, and this wasn't The A-Team.
"Crap, I've got nothing but two swords, two guns, and I need more bullets from you," Deadpool finally said, after pulling out a yellow rubber chicken that squawked. He mimicked its expression, making a cartoonish "O" shape with his mouth as he turned to Su Ming, disappointed.
"Fine, I'll do it myself. You spend all your ti downloading songs as background music, but can't keep your gear in order," Su Ming muttered, drawing his Duskfall Greatsword. The X-tal on the blade's edge glowed faintly as he swung it.
"Hey, background music is super important. We should agree on this. When you're moonwalking, would you rather hear 'Billie Jean' or 'Old McDonald Had a Farm'?" Deadpool wasn't ready to let this argunt go as he followed Su Ming, continuing to push his strange logic.
"First of all, sound can't travel on the moon. Second, my background music is usually provided by my enemies. It's the sound of their screams."
As Su Ming spoke, he thrust the greatsword forward, piercing the thick steel door. Like carving a pumpkin on Halloween, he gripped the hilt and drew a wide arc, cutting through the tal. A large chunk of the door fell away with a loud crash.
"Wow. Cutting through doors like that must cost a fortune in special effects. Do you think our investors will let you keep doing that? Wait, are you sabotaging us on purpose? Blowing through our budget so DC wins? This is so dark, man. Too dark."
Deadpool's eyes narrowed as if he had uncovered so deep conspiracy.
Su Ming's eye twitched beneath his mask. His voice dripped with exasperation. "Yeah, after this, we'll have a massive CGI fight, like The Empire Strikes Back. Millions of dollars a second, and then we'll blow up a few planets. You think that's going to happen? Stop thinking about nonsense and focus on the mission. This is the real world!"
Su Ming stepped through the door he'd just cut open. The noise would have alerted anyone inside, and there was no ti for more idle chatter.
Deadpool turned his head to the side, as if speaking to an invisible audience. He tapped his temple and whispered, "Music is important, but Su Ming doesn't see it that way. I think DC's darkness has driven him insane. Poor guy."
"Wade? You do know us super soldiers have enhanced hearing, right?" Su Ming's voice rang out as he drew Godkiller in his other hand. One sword glowed black, the other yellow, casting different hues around him. "So, are you scouting ahead, or should I 'help' you with this?"
"Uh, scouting! I'll scout! Coming through!" Deadpool tiptoed past Su Ming, casting wary glances at the deadly sword as if he feared sothing worse than death.
Su Ming inhaled deeply, feeling the onset of a ntal breakdown. With Deadpool's constant nonsense and the symbiote's intrusive thoughts, it was a wonder he wasn't already insane.
Even when this job was over, he needed to head back to New York and grab a drink. Anything to clear his head.
Horowitz and Monarch followed behind, entering the room through the hole Su Ming had made in the door.
The room beyond was surprisingly clean—dry, well-ventilated, with no noise, and no signs of rats or cockroaches. That alone put Su Ming on high alert.
They stood in a long, narrow hallway. Where it led was unknown, but the fact that guards had been posted outside, yet this area was pitch-black without a single light, seed off.
"The atmosphere feels wrong. It's too quiet," Monarch whispered after stepping inside. He imdiately cast a few protective spells, though when they landed on Su Ming, his armor deflected them. "These are defensive spells, ant to guard against ntal attacks and spatial magic. But it seems your armor handles that well already."
Su Ming's red eye scanned every corner of the hallway, his grip tightening on his weapons. "Yeah, sothing's not right. Stay sharp."
Just then, Deadpool ca jogging back, his hand cupped around his mouth as if delivering secret news to Su Ming. "There's a dog up ahead...a dog with a human head."
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