The biting cold air was oddly comforting. Maybe because it was too early or maybe because she had no wounds all over her body but there were not too many people on the rooftop of the hospital and most of them didn’t pay any attention to her, obviously busy with their own world and didn’t see anything odd from her.
AiLin had moved to the quieter place of the roof, one that didn’t have that many people all around. She was quiet as she stared at the bright blue sky and was reminded of how in the past soone told her that the brighter a sky is, the more that people felt depressed.
She laughed at the thought and took in the fresh breath of air.
She then took a step backward and placed her slippers away from her feet, pulling it upward and then placing it at the edge of the rooftop. She then stood still for a while, a long while, her ears in tune with the sound of the wind singing happy songs as if energized for the whole new day, while her entire body shuddered from the cold. Yet despite that AiLin didn’t feel truly cold. Her skin was trembling from the iciness but her heart felt oddly warm, she didn’t feel the need to coat herself in a thicker clothing or leave the place.
Her toes curled against the cold rooftop floor, her bare feet pressing down as if testing the weight of her own existence.
She felt light. Too light.
Like if the wind blew a little harder, it might carry her away.
AiLin closed her eyes. The world behind her, her past, her pain, the whispers in the hospital, the cry of the babies, all faded into the background. Right now, there was only the sky. Only the wind.
She had always thought falling would be terrifying.
But standing here, on the edge, it felt peaceful.
She didn’t feel afraid.
She felt... free.
Another step.
Then—
A hand. Warm, firm, and real around her wrist.
"AiLin."
Her eyes snapped open.
Li ZiChen was there, his grip unwavering, his face unreadable, except for the way his jaw was clenched so tightly it looked like he was forcing back every emotion crashing inside him.
His breathing was unsteady, his fingers tightening just enough that she could feel his pulse. He looked as if he had ran a marathon, perhaps in alertness after seeing sothing, he was rushing, he looked fearful too but why?
"AiLin," he said again, softer this ti.
Her lips parted, but no words ca out.
She could see it now, the storm in his eyes.
Fear.
Not for himself.
For her.
And suddenly, she felt the weight again. The weight of his grip. The weight of the mont. The weight of everything she thought she had let go of.
For the first ti in what felt like forever, she felt real.
He pulled her body close to his arms, his heartbeat then drumd against her chest and this sound seed to bring herself out of the daze that moved her body. His warmth, his voice, everything about Li ZiChen made her awake again.
She blinked, looking at him confused and worried as he was, "Why are you here?" she asked him, furrowing her eyebrows slightly as she pulled the sleeve of her hospital gown and then wiping away the sweat over his forehead, "You ran here? By stairs?"
"What are you doing?" Li ZiChen asked instead, breathless and gasping for air, his chest heaved up and down, clearly worried and unsteady. She shook her head and smiled.
"Oh I was going to throw this," she pulled out sothing from her pocket and Li ZiChen looked to see that it was a bracelet made out of threads along with the slipper she wore.
"That is...?" He asked her curiously as he doesn’t understand why she had that odd bracelet.
"Sothing I used to wear during high school. Sort of a lucky charm? It was never lucky though, every ti I wear it sothing bad happened but I felt too attached to it to throw it away," she spoke clearly while she studied, confused why she looked so oddly relaxed when earlier it seed as if he was going to step too close to the edge of the roof, ready to fly down the floors. Yet now she seed like she was just going to take a fresh air of breath.
"The slippers?"
"Uh," AiLin looked at loss, "Just thought I should throw the shoes I wear but I couldn’t find my shoes, only the hospital slippers. I an it’s light right? It won’t hurt soone who is walking down the floor, so it would be a great idea if I just throw it, it works out in my head but maybe I shouldn’t?"
"But why?" he looked confused and at lost, not knowing if she was pretending her happiness or she was really thinking without a sense of despair.
"I talked to Dr i a few days before," she answered as she saw how worried he was and felt worried as well. "Then she told that if I still have things I am far too attached, things that ca from the pasts and that I should try to throw it away and move on. She told to put all the bad mories there and burn it away but burning seems a little odd for , I don’t want to burn it and run away, I want to throw it and let it go, so I planned on throwing it down a river or sothing but now just felt like the right ti and the only place I could think of was the roof."
Li ZiChen was quiet, quiet because she seed sincere. She didn’t look like she was trying to hide what had happened to her or that she was trying to pretend that she is tough and that she was about to do sothing dangerous but stopped because he found her.
She held his face, and frowned, "Did I startle you?"
He couldn’t say anything, finding himself at loss for words.
"Oh! I saw a couple walking back ho earlier with their newborn and I was thinking that maybe one day we should also give birth here. It’s your family hospital right? I heard that this hospital has the best care for new mothers and newborns. I looked through it earlier from the hospital’s poster in the elevator."
Li ZiChen was wordless. She... was looking forward to the future.
She was really sincere.
She wasn’t going to jump and leave him alone. She was moving to the new future.
"About what happened yesterday," he said, "Do you rember?"
"Oh, yes I did, I must have made a big trouble back in the filming set right?" AiLin wasn’t embarrassed of what had happened, her ntal self had been fragile and she was trying to strengthen it which she was aware wasn’t going to be easy but she only hoped she hadn’t made others in trouble because of her episodes.
"That doesn’t matter," he answered, "Are you feeling better now?"
"I should say that I am but just a bit.. uncomfortable when I look back into what had happened yesterday. Though nothing more than that, I feel lighter now, I don’t know maybe because when I woke up I saw mother holding my hands?"
Her smile didn’t waver, but sothing about the way she looked at him, half amused, half unreadable, made Li ZiChen’s grip tighten unconsciously.
He had seen it. The way she stood at the edge, weightless. The way her fingers trembled, not from the cold, but from sothing deeper.
And now?
Now, she was standing there, looking at him like he was the strange one. Like he was overreacting.
"AiLin," he exhaled her na like a prayer, like a plea. His fingers were still wrapped around her wrist, and he could feel how small, how fragile she was under his grip.
He swallowed hard.
"You scared ."
AiLin blinked.
For a long mont, she didn’t speak. Just stared at him, as if weighing whether his fear was sothing she caused and she felt guilty of. And then she smiled again, so effortlessly that it made his chest tighten even more.
"I didn’t an to."
His jaw clenched. "That’s not the point."
She tilted her head. "Then what is?"
He ran a hand through his hair, frustration flickering across his face. "Do you think I wouldn’t run? Do you think I wouldn’t chase after you the second I saw you up here?"
She bit her lip.
"I don’t know," she admitted.
Honest. Quiet. The first crack in her mask. Li ZiChen let out a slow breath, trying to steady himself.
"Then know this," he said, his voice low, steady. Undeniable.
"I’ll always run after you."
Her fingers curled slightly, as if the words touched sothing inside her. But she didn’t pull away.
She just stood there, watching him, feeling the weight of his presence, his warmth, his unshakable determination to keep her here. And for the first ti, AiLin wasn’t sure if she wanted to disappear. She smiled and held him back tighter, "I want to stay with you." She said firmly.
"Stay with you until we’re old and gray. I’ll knit you sweaters and we will live a life together. So don’t worry," she patted his back, "I’m better. I have beca better with you."
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